The CN Guys

There is an incident that happened recently with Cartoon Network. This is the story.

You know those two guys in the Cartoon Network "CN" costumes? The ones who are on Flicks every Saturday? Well, back in September they were in the studio's break room reading through the comments on YouTube for the networks new show, "Uncle Grandpa". They saw very negative comments such as "this show sucks", "why does shit like this exist", "this is a serious crap show". This made the CN guys angry. The C shouted "WHAT!?" and the N shouted "Hell NO!"

The CN guys stormed out of the room and into the hallway. They ran into an employee and said to him "Do you wanna make 20 dollars?". They asked 4 other employees the same question. They all said "yes".

the CN guys then got a video camera and set it on a tripod and set it right in front of the toilet in the bathroom, at knee height. They angrily demanded the employees to get in a line outside the bathroom. When the camera started recording, the CN guys sent the first employee in.

The employee did exactly what the CN guys instructed him to do. The employee got in front of the toilet, unbuckled his belt, pulled down his pants and sat down at the toilet. A couple seconds pass, and the employee starts to defecate. You could hear his farts as the toilet bowl was heightening their sound. you could hear his shit plopping into the water. You could hear his moans of pain as he did his business. When he was finished, he wiped and left without flushing or washing his hands, as the CN guys instructed him.

The CN guys ordered the rest of the employees to do the same, shitting, yet no flushing. but before the last employee walked in, the C whispered in his ear, "play with yourself". The employee played with himself like there was no tomorrow. Like the others, no flushing. When the employee left, the camera quickly panned into the toilet to show the mountain of shit left behind by the five employees. It cut to black.

The next day, Regular Show was on, and it was in the middle of the usual battle at the end, right when Mordecai and Rigby were about to beat the bad guy, the screen immediately cut to the CN guys, sitting on their signature couch. "So, you think we only make crap shows!?!", the C shouted. "Well, HERE YOU GO!!", the N shouted.

The screen cut to a title card that looked like it was made in MS Paint, it said in bold letters "Crap Show". It then went to what the CN guys made. Millions of children around the world witnessed in horror as those employess all walked into the same bathroom, sat on the same toilet, and took large shits.

That wasn't enough.

The CN guys saw the world's reaction to Crap Show, as it was the top story on worldwide news networks, such as Fox and CNN. Many negative comments online towards Cartoon Network's usual programming, and now towards this new incident. The CN guys rounded up the same five employess and took them out to a park for some fresh air. With a video camera.

The CN guys sat the employees down at a park table, which sat a single, lonely tissue. The C held the camera up with the red light on, while the N handed the tissue to the first employee and said, "Blow your nose".

The first employee blew his nose until all his clogged nose pain was relieved. He was told to hand it to the employee next to him, who did the same, that employee to the other, and so on until every employee had blown their nose on the same tissue. The last employee put the tissue down on the table, and the C panned into the tissue, like he did with the toilet. There was not one bit of white on the tissue, it was completely covered in a mucus shaded green.

Like Crap Show, the CN guys interrupted regular programming again to premiere the Tissue Show. Like Crap Show, a whole generation of children watched as the five employees blew their noses into the same tissue. Surely that would get the haters to stop talking trash about the CN guys beloved network.

But it didn't stop there.

The CN guys got mad with power. Instead of sneaking into the control room like before, they broke in and murdered the workers in there to quickly premiere their new shows:

"Soup" and "The Vomit Show".

The five, very tortured employees were ordered to strip completely nude, and fart into a bowl of soup, then take a sip of it. All on camera. Every employee who took a sip quickly ran off camera with their hands covering their mouths.

The last employee who farted into the soup unknowingly let out a pellet sized piece of shit into the bowl. As he took his sip of soup, he noticed a smudged shit stain on the shiny metal of the spoon, and he felt something in his mouth. The employee's eyes widened and he ran off camera, like the others.

A camera set in in the bathroom across the hall from the set of Soup showed the employee bolt into the room. He strongly grabbed the toilet bowl, and started violently vomited into the toilet. His vomited lasted about five minutes. When he was done, he looked into the toilet, then proceeded to vomit, for another five minutes.

When he finally finished, he got up and, with an extremely angry expression on his face, slapped the camera to the floor, with only the CN guys black and white feet, and the employee's bare feet in view. the employee angrily yelled "I'M NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE!!" and exited the room. Off camera, you could hear the employee say "I quit", and then footsteps. On camera, a pair of feet entered the room where the CN guys were standing. The person was wearing dress shoes and fancy looking pants, so it must've been the president for Cartoon Network, Staurt Snyder. Staurt yelled "What the hell is going on here!?!" The C said "But sir-", but was cut off by Staurt yelling "What is on that camera!? You two are fired!"

The N grabbed the camera and they both made a run for it. They broke into the control room and blocked the door with a chair to air their final creations. "We hope you will think before you speak..." they said in unison as they popped up on the screen one more time, interrupting the Amazing World of Gumball.

After that, the CN guys began their run from the law, as they were charged with torture and human rights violations. Their whereabouts are currently unknown.

This isn't the first time the CN guys did something like this. Back in the early 2000's, the guys worked for Nickelodeon as control room workers when they saw negative comments about some Nick shows on an Internet forum and well... let's just say they're the reason "Chuckie's Mom" exists.