Banjo-Kazooie

I remember when I was younger; I was about eight or nine, you know. The innocent life. Not a care in the world, so I spent a good amount of my childhood playing video games. Yes video games; it's nothing to be ashamed about. I made friends with other kids who played it, too.

I knew a kid back then who went by the name of Tony. He told me a story about some strange thing that happened to him while playing Banjo-Kazooie. He gave me specific instructions of what to do and what would happen. He spoke of Mad Monster Mansion and the portrait of Gruntilda that was in there. He spoke, saying if I crashed into the portrait using the fly-pad it would summon up a monster. As a frightened little child, I believed him, till one day I summoned up the courage to try what he told me years ago.

Nothing happened. It was just a little lie he told me, a little story he believed. So I did it again and again countless times, knowing that it was all fake with nothing to worry about. I found it amusing - I'm not sure why - so I would crash into it over and over again going to that same place where the monster would show up. It never did; that lone pipe outside the mansion you could fit into as a pumpkin was always empty. There was never anything more or anything less.

Of course, not everything is predictable; not everything follows the same routine. I tried it again one day not too long ago. About a week or two, well let’s just say things took a turn for the worst. You hear these stories and don't think anything of them; "Oh, they are just stories. It doesn't matter. It'll be alright," they say. Of course, this time I did it I almost broke a tear from how terrified I was.

I went into the room where Napper was, empty and quiet with nothing but a huge table and some chairs. I climbed on top of the table got aboard the fly pad. I mashed the B button facing Gruntilda’s portrait. The bear and bird duo flew into the portrait with a big crash as expected, but this time a different noise I heard was there. It sounded like someone had broken a bone or something, almost as if there was literal pain. I didn't think anything of it, so I left the room as normal.

Heading towards Mumbo’s skull, I came across that pipe with the Jiggy inside, but the oddest thing happened. Banjo seemed to have fallen underneath the level. I thought I had glitched the game or something - something new & exciting that I hadn't seen before. That was till I realized his legs were crawling through that small hole where the pipe was; he was clawing at the ground not making a noise - not even music - and he just flailed his arms wildly as he slowly got dragged inside. Frightened, I dropped my controller and backed away from the TV.

Next thing I know, it shows the inside of the pipe; Banjo looked fine. He was just standing in the middle of that pipe, looking around. The music, although back, was a little distorted as if played in reverse...but it couldn't be more than a freaky glitch, right? I slowly reached for my controller when I saw a giant dark hand fall slowly from the ceiling. I screamed and Banjo followed suit. It dragged him up to the ceiling, almost like the Wallmasters from Ocarina of Time.

The sounds of bones cracking was heard. Banjo screamed in a voice as if his throat was filled with blood and unspeakable true pain. The music slowed itself and turnd to static. The hand pulled him up slowly and painfully. As it got closer to the screen, I could just see the hand gripped around his neck nearly tearing Banjo in two; it was as if his head would pop off at any moment. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Banjo flailed around as the hand dragged him up to the darkness by Banjo's face till eventually the screen went completely dark.

Next thing I know, the game over transition occurred, but the black background with the witch's face was red. Surely this couldn't be real. I had to be dreaming, but somehow I knew I wasn't. I was frozen in my place with beads of sweat falling down my face. Then it happened to start the game over cut scene. Tooty, Grunty, and Klungo were all together, except it was definitely different.

Tooty was strapped into a chair with Klungo standing at her side. Grunty was slowly cutting into Tootys arm, dissecting her like fresh piece of meat. The screams from Tooty were to painful to hear while her head shook violently in agony. Grunty held up the knife and continued to pierce through her arm. After it was cut off she threw it to Klungo and he started to gnaw on it. Gruntilda's eyes were filled with madness - wait, no, madness isn't the word for this. This was a true pleasure from causing pain. A fantasy fufilled. She enjoyed herself with a wicked and sadistic grin.

With the knife she carved into Tooty's stomach, letting the blood flow out and the organs drop to the ground, splatting in a way too realistic for a game to recreate. No way could this be real; I kept telling myself it wasn't, but it was and I knew it. I just couldn't accept it. Grunty held the knife up to her mouth and licked fresh blood off of it. Satisfied but still eager for more, she violently stabbed Tooty in the eye then threw the eye across the room. She leaned into Tooty, smiling and chanting quietly as she slowly slit the blade across Tooty's neck; the knife began to slowly drip with the blood of her victim.

It faded out to a soundless black screen; the TV was definitely on, but there was nothing on the screen. I stood in place, still too scared to move. I still cannot believe what I had witnessed. After a couple days, I decided to try it again. Surely, no one could sell something like that to the public, right? I went through and crashed into the picture; I was nervous but I slowly walked up to the pipe.

There was nothing.

I stood, waiting, but it didn't happen. Everything played as normal. I tried multiple times but it wouldn't work. Why would it work that one time but not any other? What came over my game and made it insane? I wish I could've moved, gotten a picture or a video. Anything I could've gotten as a shred of proof. I'm not asking you to believe me; I just want to share my tale with whoever it may interest.

I'll keep trying it, this time prepared and maybe, just maybe, I can get a single photo of what happened that night.