Ned's Nitpicks: Spongeb0b's Schizophrenia

Every now and again a wiseguy shows up with the crazy belief that the longer a Creepypasta is, the better. Anyone with a brain can tell you that this is not true, and goes against the concept of a SHORT horror story. Spongeb0b's Schizophrenia is one of these stories.

Hello, I'm Aidan

Well, at least the author had the sense not to go I WONT TELL U MY NAEM! I PRUTECT IDENNIDY!. Also, big "shock" that his name ends with -an, -en, or -in.

'''and I'm writing this blog about a series called Spongebob’s Schizophrenia. In recent times, a tape has been discovered in the Nickelodeon Studios. It is a Betamax tape with the writing, "SPONGEBOB SEASON 10 PREMIERE EPISODE." The episode is called "Spongebob’s Schizophrenia."'''

I'm not going to bother to point out that Betamax was already out by the time SpongeBob was made.

'''According to sources, the episode starts in Spongebob's house. He looks crazy and is saying "The shadows play with me."'''

You can't not laugh at this!

He then laughs manically.

So was I after I read that incredibly lame thing he just said.

The strange thing is, Spongebob's voice sounds like a demon's. Spongebob starts to ooze foam from his mouth, and he takes an Antipsychotic pill.

Like the kind you... no, you know what, I'm going to be nice. Like the kind Patrick should be taking... and the main character.

'''The pill fails to work, and Spongebob takes out a cartoony pistol and kills Gary. His body isn't shown.'''

I don't know what made this less impacting, the fact that it was "cartoony" or the fact that we're told that an animal was murdered in just a few short words.

Squidward then yells to Spongebob, "SPONGEBOB, SHUT UP!"

Where the fuck did he come from? I'm going to try to make sense of this and imagine he's screaming this from his window.

'''and Spongebob looks straight at Squidward. He says, "The shadows shall engulf you, mere mortal. Give praise to them or perish," and Squidward says, "Whatever," and returns to bed.'''

LOL! This story is funny!

A time card appears saying "25 Past Midnight” with a strange sound in the background. Squidward is shown sleeping for nearly a minute. Squidward wakes up, and sees a square shadow holding a chainsaw.

The Bikini Bottom Chainsaw Massacre. A classic film about SpongeFace chasing Squidy Hardesty with a chainsaw.

'''He screams as the shadow revs up the saw. The screaming was like a real person shouting, not cartoony.'''

I don't know why, but I was expecting this cliche to show up here.

'''He keeps screaming over the sounds of the saw. The shadow puts the saw to Squidward's body'''

The poor choice of phrasing made this scene dull.

'''and Squidward screams as he is being cut up, and blood splatters on the wall. Then he died, and Spongebob emerges from Squidward's door, holding his cartoonishly-severed head.'''

No! Really? It was cartoonish? I would have thought it was hyper realistic! Shoot!

He feasts on it, and laughs maniacally.

The author clearly didn't care about this story being long as fuck, so why they chose not to go into detail is beyond me.

'''He then runs to his house again and emerges with a pair of knives. He runs to Patrick's house.'''

He screams, "oH paTRicK! cOMe AnD pLay wiTh mE!!,"

Why did you write that in mocking style text? Were you making fun of him?

'''as he stabs Patrick repeatedly. Spongebob then draws a pentagram on Patrick's floor. He sacrifices Patrick's corpse.'''

SATAN AND HIS SYMBOLZ R SCURY!!!!

'''There is literally no sound for this seven second sacrifice. Spongebob laughs again, and runs to his house. He is seen at a table with Squidward's partially-eaten head, brain exposed and eyeballs hanging out, and says, "My beautiful honey, will you marry me?"'''

What is this, a Trollpasta?

as Squidward's left eye blinks once, revealing he is alive, but slowly suffering and dying.

However the fuck that's possible.

'''His skin sheds, leaving only muscle and tissues exposed, and his facial organs and nerves snap and fall apart. His head is now nothing but a pile of random organs, and his eye blinks again. The bubble transition shows, and for thirty seconds, Spongebob is shown kissing the pile of organs, and putting a ring on it inside of a church.'''

Did he hire a priest to officiate his union with them? Also this is a total Jeff-knock-off moment. He openly carries orangs throughout town and hires a priest, who clearly had nothing better to do that day.

'''Spongebob looks demonic and says to Squidward's organs, "I am your lord and savior, Bikini Bottom. Praise me." As the episode ends with Spongebob committing suicide by stabbing himself in the heart, at least, that's the only point the contents of the tape are known up to.'''

"contents of the tape are known up to". Your grammar be good!

The episode was written by Jill Frances and Phillip Refkenski, and animated by a person named Jorges Pubenstein.

PUBE-enstein.

The tape itself was watched by the Spongebob staff, and they were put into medical help right after watching.

TOTALLY NOT CLICHE! Also, why?

Reports vary, but it was said that when questioned, they all refused to tell what happened after Spongebob committed suicide,

I DID NOT STEAL THIS FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE! THIS IS MY OWN IDEA!

'''and when they were insisted, they still refused. No one knows WHAT those employees saw, and no one will ever know the full truth. There have been many attempts to find the tape, but no one has ever found it. The only things that remain are a few screenshots of the episode, and a possible audio track of the episode. The audio track lasts ten minutes, but strangely enough, after six minutes, the audio is merely a strange static sound, but at nine minutes in, a strange, loud, distorted audio can be heard.'''

Someone put a tape recorder inside your brain.

'''A couple of days ago, I was mailed a tape that was from "John Deff". I decided looked up this person’s name and surprisingly he works at Nickelodeon, and I also got a letter from him.'''

Apparently Nickelodeon studios has an endless supply of stationary so their crew members can write letters to the kiddies who see their scary shit that's not supposed to be released.

"Dear Aidan, I have noticed that you are interested in this "series" of ours.

You can't use quotation marks within quotation marks, genius!

'''This tape I have mailed you contains the episode you were talking about in your blog. The head director of the animation department told me to burn the tape. I didn’t listen to his orders and kept the tape for myself. I’ve seen the tape for myself months prior and kept it. I found your blog when looking up Spongebob’s Schizophrenia. After some thinking, I decided to mail it to you. Please take care of it and don't tell anyone else about it. -John”'''

Tom

>Receives letter from Kyle telling him to destroy disk

>Doesn't listen

Authorofthisshit

>Receives letter from Nickelodeon employee, telling him not to tell anyone about it

>Doesn't listen

'''I opened the box and it contained the tape John previously mentioned in his letter. The tape had some writing reading "Spongebob Season 10 Premiere". So I played it on my VCR.'''

It showed what I said for 6 minutes in my previous blog.

You had a perfectly good chance to show us the main character getting scared by it, bust missed that opportunity.

'''Then, Spongebob kills himself at the 6:24 mark and abruptly cuts to the Krusty Krab. It showed inside the restaurant, it looked so abandoned. Mr. Krabs was just standing looking at a wall. He walks to his office door passes out he opened his office door. It zoomed into the door and for about a second, some image flickered on the screen for a millisecond.'''

I doubt ANYBODY would be able to catch a milisecond flash!

'''I couldn’t tell what the image was I didn’t want to know what the image was. The kitchen was shown with what looked like a mountain of dead bloody fish bodies. It cuts to Sandy's dome where Sandy is sitting on a chair next to a noose looking depressed. Sandy puts the noose around her neck and kicks the chair. Her lifeless body is shown swinging side to side slowly for a solid minute. The tape cuts to Spongebob's house in his room where his dead corpse was laying at.'''

So this turned into another A BUNCH OF SCARY THINGS HAPPENED FOR NO REASON story.

'''At this point, it was at the 9:01 mark when this loud sudden strange static sound played. Spongebob’s body stood up and turned to the viewer. His eyes were deep shade of yellow and red and his body had a slit mark that went from his leg all the way up to his right eye. One of his buck teeth was chipped. His skin was a pale yellow. Spongebob walks closer to the screen, his body becoming more detailed the closer he got. He stopped at the point where most of his highly detailed face was covering the screen. He laughed in a deep voice and loud Static followed.'''

I have no comment for this.

The taped ended when the screen went back to the vcr menu.

I hope you don't mean like a DVD menu, because apparently kids think that VHS tapes have them. I'm assuming you mean the blank, blue screen?

I put the tape in my safe I kept in my room, locked it, and put it in my closet.

Ok, so the adult Nickelodeon crew had to be hospitalized after seeing this, but some little kid watches it and doesn't feel anything. The fuck?

In one of the emails John sent me, he mentioned a guy named Jorges Pubenstein.

You can't expect me to take you seriously if you have a character whose last name has the word "pube" in it.

'''He apparently worked as an animator for the series and had his contact. He gave me his contact and told me “do whatever you want with it” I wanna see if he picks up and if so I want more information about this "series". So for now peace.'''

Unfortunately, the story goes on.

'''I finally got in contact with Jorges Pubenstein after fucking 3 times of calling him. All 3 of the calls led me to his voicemail which said "Hi, this is Jorges Pubenstein if you are looking for me then I am busy animating or something. So leave a message thank you." I left a message this is what it said. "Hi this is Aidan I was wondering if you can give me more information about Spongebob's Schizophrenia. I've seen the tape so please just contact me please, thank you."'''

This reminds me of the Day With SpongeBob SquarePants search.

'''An hour later he contacted me. At first he was crying for the first minute or two. Then he said this.'''

'''“Hi Aidan, this is Jorges I'm the animator for Spongebob's Schizophrenia. I want to tell you I did animate that and I was forced to. So this is what happened I was recently hired as an animator for Spongebob Squarepants and these 2 people told me that they were directors for a new Spongebob episode and they told me to follow them. They knocked me out and when I woke up I was strapped to a chair in a warehouse.'''

Not a smart plan. How are you supposed to make a cartoon if you're tied up?

Those 2 people told me to work on "Spongebob's Schizophrenia" They told me the story then they forced me to animate it.

How they "forced" him to will probably never be explained.

'''It was hell on earth. A few days later they let me go. It was on February 17, 2014 when they hijacked it on TV. I have seen the full episode and I couldn't go to sleep for a whole week."'''

Apparently Nickelodeon's animation studios and it's broadcasting center is the same building.

'''I asked him about the audio and how it was loud and weird at the 9 minute mark. He said this "The loud static contains screams and people getting murdered while there is static.'''

'''I said "Thank you and contact me when you can remember more information." Then I hung up. I will blog tomorrow or something bye.'''

Unsympathetic little prick!

'''Well today was a little interesting. I was looking up my blog and it has 145 followers. One of those followers is Andrew Schizo.'''

Really?

'''He is an animator and apparently he was one of the animators for the Spongebobs Schizophrenia series. He emailed me saying this. "Hi this is Andrew Schizo I am one of the animators for the spongebobs schizophrenia series. If you want to contact me here is my number *-***-****-***. Thanks."'''

You have no clue how phone numbers work, do you?

So I decided to give him a call and this is what he said.

"Hi Aidan, This is Andrew. The one who emailed you. I wanted to talk to you about that series. I was 23 a fresh new animator out of college.

>Finishes college at 23

>Doesn't need prior experience or anything.

Got ya!

'''I was thinking of studios to animate for. And the first thing that popped in my mind was Nickelodeon. So I contacted them to see if they we're hiring animators. Surprisingly they were hiring animators. So I got hired for nickelodeon. I was told by a Manager of the studio that I was gonna animate Spongebob Squarepants. I was so excited. On my First day I was sketching spongebob. The second day I was approached by Jill and Phillip.'''

'''They told me that they were managers for Spongebob Squarepants. They also told me to follow them to their office. I was gullible back then, so I followed them. When they stopped we were at a Abandoned Looking Office. As soon as I looked at the office everything went black. I woke up in a Warehouse with a guy named Jorges. They told me to “animate now” or they will kill me. So I did. There was more episodes we made. I have all of them but I will send them through a period of time.'''

If someone told me this, I'd assume they were lying.

'''I asked him if there was credits at the end of the first episode he said "Yes" and "I will send them in the mail maybe tomorrow." I hung up. That's all I needed to know.'''

Didn't even tell him "Bye! Love you!". Insensitive prick!

'''Today I received a package from Andrew. It was a box and inside the box was a DVD titled "Ending Credits" I immediately remembered the phone call yesterday and put the DVD in my DVD player and it cut to the credits of the previous episode. This is what it showed:'''

He puts the credits here. I'm not going to the effort of bolding them all. Tl;dr: most of them don't even sound like real names. Author wrote whatever words came to his mind.

'''I am still weirded out by the fact that Steven Hillenburg was in those credits. But I decided to give him a call.'''

Me: Hi

Steven: Hi

Me: Do you know Spongebob's Schizophrenia?

Steven: ......

Steven: that...

Steven: Fine

You don't separate silence, you fool! You separate when changing speakers.

'''Steven: So it was 2013 and I remembered that I hired 2 Junior Managers for my show. Well turns out that they were apparently "Black Market" Users. So one day I was called into my office by Jill and Phillip. They told me they needed me for a minute. Well it was WAY over a minute.'''

I ended up in a warehouse. They turned at me and said "Write Now." I looked down at the table and there was a Piece of paper and a pencil. They told me that they were gonna make a new "Series" called "Spongebobs Schizophrenia.”'''

Not if Viacom's legal team has anything to say about it! Also, why didn't anyone call the police on these stooges?

'''I wrote the “story” for them. A few days later I was called into my office again. It was Jill and Phillip but they had a VCR Player. They told me to sit down. So I did sit down. They put in a tape. Then they pressed played. What I saw was hell right in front of me.'''

Me: Yes I have seen that

'''Steven: Oh..... *Sobs*'''

'''Steven: I'm gonna go... My god.'''

Lame! Also, this story goes on forever, so I'm just going to do a few cuts to get this crap done faster.

'''He is shown walking with Patrick to the Krusty Krab. Spongebob then says "Patrick would you ever kill someone?" Patrick says "No"'''

LOL

'''Spongebob then proceeds to say "I have these voices in my head saying.... to kill people... I don't know why, but I don't want to kill I'm Spongebob Squarepants why would I kill I have been happy my whole entire life and this is what it had to come too isn't it a Sponge wanting to kill people? Then so be it for the love of fish I'm going nuts Patrick." Patrick says nothing. Then it cuts to the Krusty Krab and into the kitchen'''

I wouldn't say anything either. Anyway, he gets in contact with someone else, and we get this racist little gem:

'''They treated me like a Black Slave in 1800's. They whipped and... punched me. After it was over I quit nickelodeon studios and moved to a new location. Man it has been so long.”'''

'''Two things happened to me today. 1. I got another Spongebob episode and 2 I got a voicemail from an unknown person here is the dialogue of the recording.'''

'''Unknown: ................Well look who I found. Aidan. Well if you hadn't guessed it. It is Phillip that creator of Spongebob’s Schizophrenia. I swear if you post one more thing I WILL....'''

VOICEMAIL END

Well I know it is Phillip now.

LOL! Also, how did these assholes get this guy's personal info like his phone number?

'''I got another Spongebob Episode called "Treat." I think Andrew was punning me. I played the Episode on my VCR because the Episode was on a VHS cassette.'''

The episode starts out with the intro but there is more dialogue.

"Who are you gonna kill?"

"Tec!"

'''Then the intro ends and cuts to the title card. Then it cuts to Spongebob's living room where Gary and Spongebob and just sitting there doing absolutely nothing. Gary meows in hunger. Spongebob realizes that he needs to get food for Gary. So he rushes out the door and runs to a car. He throws the fish out of the car and drives off.'''

LOL! Grand Theft Auto, SpongeBob edition!

'''I found a website with info on the episodes. There was only 5. I have not viewed it yet but it. It apparently is called "Blood" The Description says this.'''

"SpongeBob goes to his house and finds b."

SpongeBob goes to his house and finds /b/?

I got another Episode from Andrew Today Titled "No, No more" I played the episode on my Betamax System.

'''It starts out with the usual intro then it shows bubbles then shows the Krusty Krab. It shows a fish ordering a regular Krabby Patty. Squidward says in an unusual voice "Congratulations you are the 1 Millionth customer here come and follow me for your prize!" It abruptly cuts to the kitchen where Spongebob is making some Krabby Patties. The Patties have a more Orange color than they usually do which is odd in my opinion'''

You know what, I'm going to stop here. Sorry everyone for yet another half-assed Nitpicks. This story was so repetitive and boring I couldn't get it all down. This story can be summed up like this:

>I got a call from this person

>I got a new tape

>Violent things happen on the tape

>Jill and Phillip are assholes! > : (

It's the same shit over and over again, like a merry-go-round. Thank you all for reading.