Ned's Nitpicks: Aftermaths, Youtube Suicide Video, and Pomeranian pup

Aftermaths
I was there.

Where?

I was there.

You already said that. Where were you?

I was there.

BUT WHERE?!

I was there, when it happened.

Well, I can tell you where you weren't: in the medicine cabinet taking the pills your doctor perscribed.

'''The shots. The screaming. The crying. The taste of blood in my mouth.'''

Let me guess "I DIED BUT WRITING DIS SOMEHOW!"

It was me.

I was the gunman.

Then you're an asshole who deserved to get shot. Enough said.

'''After the shooting, I stood there, motionless. Then I started to run, faster than I knew I could. I ran down the street, and then turned into an alleyway. I placed the gun in my mouth, pointed toward my left cheek, and pulled the trigger.'''

I can tell you right now that's not enough to kill you. The worst your gonna get from that is a burned and blown out cheek. Also, you clearly had it planned you would kill someone, was suicide a part of that plan?

I woke up in the hospital.

Told you!

They thought I was just shot by somebody else.

So... absolutely no one saw you do it even though you were pretty much in public? Ok.

'''I lied to them. Five months later I was released from the hospital,'''

If you were going to be there for months, you might as well have admitted it and got the psychiatric help you need. Or wait, is it because you would have gone to jail? I don't know, this is one of those stories where you have to draw your own conclusions.

and I returned to my quiet apartment.

And found that the landlord had kicked me out for not paying rent in five or more months.

On the seventh day

God rested.

i woke up with my hands and feet bound to a chair, which was stuck to the ground.

No! Really? I thought the chair would be stuck to the wall! Shoot!

'''I could hear two people talking. I couldn’t make out what they were saying. After 2 minutes a deep, gravelly voice said, “Ah, you’re awake”. I tryed'''

"tryed". Fucking "tryed".

to shout at him to let me go, but there was a peice of cotton in my mouth.

A "peice" of cotton? I don't know what a peice is, but apparently they're made of cotton. And yes, I'm just joking. I know it's supposed to be "piece".

'''“Hello, and welcome to my workshop”, the voice said. A light turned on, showing a room full of horrible machines.'''

This for some reason reminded me of that one MadTV skit in which Santa's workshop was a sweatshop where the elves were slaves.

I saw a chair with spikes on it, a key that was hung on a string that apparently triggered a shotgun that was pointed at the key, and many other gruesome traps

"I watched the movie 'Saw' and decided to plagiarize it" - the author.

'''“You have one simple task: do something with a knife”, the voice said. I suddenly noticed 2 hooded figures in a corner. One was holding a gun, and the other was holding a knife, which he threw at me. I grabbed it'''

I thought you were bound to a chair.

'''then I grabbed the hooded man that gave me the knife and did an armlock on him. The other hooded figure pointed his gun at me.'''

He's a creep, but you can't blame him for protecting his friend, dipshit.

I raised the knife up to my captive’s neck.

WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! The guy never directly said you had to kill the "captive" (who I'm assuming is one of the hodded men because of how lacking in detail this shit is)

'''I had to choose, slit the man’s throat and get shot, or let go of him and think of something else to do with the knife. But these guys were murderers, like me. But still.''

What's your point?

'''I slit his throat and got shot in the head. I died.'''

"I died, yet I wrote this story somehow. And as a ghost I refuse to tell the police or anything and I'm just wandering around doing ghost shit." - Stupid main character.

Youtube Video Suicide
Wisconsin, the 28th of january, 2011

Did this take place in Black Falls? If anyone doesn't get it, I'm referencing the book and documentary Wisconsin Death Trip. I recommend both.

THE CORPSE OF A GIRL OF AROUND 16 YEARS OLD HAS BEEN FOUND,

IT IS SUSPECTED IT IS A SUICIDE CASE

Well, it's more realistic than "Ominous unknown killer still at large".

A month before, the 28th of december

Well, at least she got to celebrate Christmas, right?

I am Jessica Alderson and today I will go out with my friends, we want to try to record a video on Youtube 

First of all, is this her diary or some shit? I don't know, the author didn't feel like telling us. If that is the case,who the HELL tells their own diary their name? Also, you want to record a video on YouTube? That sounds like you want to download one, not shoot it.

the 4th of january

The dating on this one seems slightly inconsistent.

Dear diary, I can't believe my friends published a video about me being drunk,

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

I don't know what to do ; it already got more than 10.000 views in a week .

Report it. I'm pretty sure YouTube would have qualms with videos of a drunken child. Also, sue the fuck out of your friends.

I believe the only way out of this is suicide ...I am going to miss all of you, if you ever will read this diary

So... not a lawsuit that could potentially make you rich? Sounds like someone has problems with making the right decision. Also, of course they're going to read your diary. In fact, that would have probably been one of the first things they checked to try to find you.

Good-bye - Jessica

Goodbye, little drunk girl.

NEVER publish videos of drunk persons or stuff like that, or this is how things will end 

I know plenty of people who have been filmed drunk and posted on the internet. One of them has a fuck ton of views, and the person in questions thinks it makes him a minor celebrity (which it kind of does). Even though it was posted on a website that hosts "scary" stories, it's a morals tale and unfortunately it failed. Instead of being a message about taking responsibility and not doing anything stupid, its message is "Don't film people acting stupid" which really isn't beneficial, and in a way, promotes not having to take responsibility for your actions and relying on someone else to do the right thing (or, not do the wrong thing at least).

Pomeranian pup
One day this eighteen years old girl named Vick was walking home from school,

Her name was Vick? I hope that's an even shorter version of Victoria.

'''she heard a puppy whining. As Vick followed the sound it led her in the woods.'''

Like every girl who goes to Crappypasta High School, she has to pass the world's largest forest. Also, that must be the loudest puppy in the world if she can hear it from outside the damn woods! Also, I don't like seeing the words "Vick" and "puppy" in the same sentence.

She picked up the little Pomeranian puppy.

Kind of a jumpcut there, author, but ok.

But what she didn't know was the dogs previous owner gave him a shot with some sort of green glowing liquid that made him turn into demons at night.

So a cartoonish scientist adopted a puppy, injected it with "some sort of green liquid" (which, quite frankly, is more of a description than I expected) that turns it into a fallen angel at a certain time each day. Well shit. I hope this guy gets some kind of prize for his advanced work.

'''Vick went home and said " I'm gonna name you..... " She paused as she thought. "OH! I'll name you Tuesday!!!! "She said.'''

She named it after her biggest crush, Prince Tuesday from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood.

'''Soon the night came. " night Tuesday! "'''

This is a train-wreck of the English language right here. The word "night" isn't capitalized as it should be because it's the first word she speaks. Second, don't space out quotation marks, it makes it difficult to read. Yeah, as if that's the hardest part of this story to comprehend.

She said as she turned off the light.

Also poor writing. She just turns off the light. We don't hear about her going to her room or anything, she just says goodnight and shuts the light off.

'''About 9 minutes later she heard growling from a wolf. "Tuesday?" She said the growling got louder as he got closer.'''

It had rabies. And bit her. Now she has rabies. HA HA HA!

Not even in the split of seconds demon Tuesday came out of the shadows and threw itself at Vick.

How are there shadows when the lights are off?

He bit a peace of Vick's neck out.

Did it kill her? How did she react and what did she do after? Oh, right, sorry, bad stories don't have details, just random shit. Also, "peace".

The bog never went back to his bog form..

"The bog". Fucking "bog". So it turned into some kind of swamp?