Wii Missed You

Hello. My name is Valerie, my most prized things in the world are my Mr Men books, wii games, and my JayMeDino Productions VHS tapes.

May 13th, 2014, 6:12:32 PM
Dear Diary

I finally got a wii u! I have tons of mii games I’ll be able to use, I got a wii edition of Puma Sunshine, I was at the point in the story where, Puma, Lara, and Alice find out about the evil lord King Ghostly and are getting clsoe to the first boss battle in games when I was using my water powers as Alice, a message appeared on my mii featuring my old mii lf Isabella Horozaka I created in 2000 on  Mario Artist: Talent Studio She was smiling and she said in that Animal Crossing-esque voice. Wii Missed You! I had previously used her for a 3D anime movie I made that I still have a recording of somewhere. Since when did new Nintendo devices use old miis? I asked myself. I later had a knife of my old miis becoming serial killers and killing me and my family. I managed to get some amnestics for it. For some reason I’m addicted to amnestics.

May 20th, 2014
Dear Diary

Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me, oh wait wrong time, so today I was playing my old N64 and I was playing  Mario Artist: Talent Studio. I was making a superhero movie. A mii that looked exactly like me then replaced Megan, the superhero girl, she was named Valerie and she said I snort emergy drinks, a taunt that I often used in discord chatrooms when I still had Discord, I was shaking. That’s when I decided to play my wii for the rest of the day, I went back to the old games and played the old Family Feud. I got a lot of things right and my family won.

May 27th, 2014
Dear Fucking Diary

I have no idea what’s happening, today a man was fired after years of working at the Cracked headquarters, which is a famous magazine and website, he is currently 34 and he was 22 when he started working at the place, a few years before it got a website and discontinued it’s magazine. He was very tall, had light skin, and he had brown hair and his face is always clean shaven. today he had a bruise on his cheek and I heard security trying to fight someone behind me. Probably the man. My boss said that they had no use of a small, single Wii U, so they gave it to me to bring home. I was excited, of course. My next income was in 1 week and I was saving up to buy another wii for my cousin, but now I got one for free and a week sooner too. The day was long and boring and as soon as I was told, I ran out the door and went to buy  Super Mario 3D World  for my brand new Wii U I was giving to my cousin, he’s a big Mario fan, When I came home, I was too excited and dropped it onto the ground. I paniced, then plugged it in to see if it still worked. Sure enough, it did. There was a game already in the Wii when I turned it on. Super Smash Bros. Melee was in it. I weighed my options and decided to test out Super Smash Bros. first. When I turned it on, I heard a sound which sounded like a laugh from Bowser, but a bit longer in length, and the voice was a little deeper in tone. The game skipped the intro and went to the title screen. It was dim, and yellow. I pressed start to here a crying Mario falling off a cliff from the original Mario 64, but a bit more desperate. The game lagged intensly. I tried to ignore it, but it was so slow that it took me 2 minutes to go to V.S. mode. The characters consisted of a Rockruff with red splatters all over it’s body, the splatters weren’t new nor old but the splatters were flaking off for whatever reason and a purple Arceus. I laughed and gagged for whatever reason, thinking this was a joke disc. With a tear in my eye, I chose Rockruff. There was only one stage, too. What looked like the original wallpaper of Windows XP. The music was just a series of screams. The game stopped lagging, and I used Keen Eye as Rockruff. Normal animation happened, but did exactly 743% of damage to the Purple Arceus. I laughed even more until I saw the purple Arceus crying and coughing. I stopped and stared and Rockruff ran off the screen, and a loud "Rockruuuuuuuffffffffff!" happened. Not distorted or anything. Just normal. Arceus was still coughing, and then collapsed. I was a bit worried. All of a sudden, I had a power outage. I waited then 10 minutes later my lights went back on. Not the Wii though. I decided to pack up and go to bed.

June 3rd, 2014
Deradiaty

I decided to finish up Puma Sunshine on the 3DS. This time for some reason Lara had an extra pair of arms...no, tentacles, they were her main color, brown and purple, their was another power outage soon after, the wii u turned on before everything else, I was with one of my employee friends. We were playing multiplayer Puma Sunshine, I decided to go to the food channel and I ordered some sushi, the sushi was here a couple (2) hours later, because we ordered a couple(2) hours in advance. I was playing on my N64 while Jane was checking out some wii channels when it happened, that same bloody Rockruff from the other day appeared. My obsession with videogames ended that very moment. The final thing I write as I burn the pages of this book

Epilogue
I am never writing in this book again, I’m taking amnestics to forget my obsession with videogames and I’m studying for music, I’m gonna be in this Mexican Indie band called Les Dillinger as the main drummer, I’m so excited, I’m going through a never ending chcle of burning, selling, and deleting things from all of my video game supplies, but maybe, just maybe one day I’ll remember. Oh wait, someone wants my Bidoof plushie, gotta bladt, I’ll se you tomorrow on Valerie’s (videogame) blog