How to Summon Creepypastas

Have you ever tried to summon a “Creepypasta”? Of course, you haven't, you prick. What if I told you can. You'd probably think I'm a crackhead trying to waste your time, but I'm not. Here are some steps to summon any creepypasta you want!

Step 1. - Buy a Greenday jacket. You don't have to do this step, but it will make you unable to be taken seriously, though.

Step 2. - Buy a gun. You'd need a gun later on because shit is gonna hit the fan at step 16.

Step 3. - Grab some fursuits from Walmart. Trust me, I promise it'll be important later, I promise.

Step 4. - After buying these items, you need to wear your fursuits and travel to your nearest flea market.

Step 5. - Once you go to the flea market, scream on the top of your lungs “HOW DO I SUMMON CREEPYPASTAS?!” and you'd wake up the drunk man who's running the crap shack.

Step 6. - The man would then lead you to an old room and show you an old, dusty mirror. The man would then offer the mirror to you for free. This mirror is extremely important to get to the 'Creepypasta Dimension.'

Step 7. - Go back to your local Walmart, buy a shitty ouija board.

Step 8. - Buy some salt. The salt would keep all the creepypastas away from you because it would burn them.

Step 9. - Go back to where ever you live, go to the basement, attic, or upstairs to do the ritual.

Step 10. - Make a pentagram out of salt because everything requires a pentagram these days.

Step 11. - Place the mirror in the middle of the pentagram.

Step 12. - Play any Nickelback song at least once. Listening to Nickelback would put the room in a state of unholiness and angst (which is perfect considering the fact you are trying to 'summon' horror fiction).

Step 13. - After you are done playing Nickelback, turn off all the lights in your household or apartment, and head back to whichever room you did the ritual in.

Step 14. Close your eyes and whisper whatever Creepypasta you wanted to summon.

Step 15. Open your eyes.

Step 16. After you opened your eyes, the Creepypasta you just summoned would try to kill you. Use your gun and kill the thing and the ritual is over.

Immediately after you summoned the fictional horror character, go to your therapist the next day and tell him about the ritual you just did. He would then offer you to eat out for a quick meal and drive you to an asylum. You would then be escorted to a padded room where you'd be given a plate of spaghetti. After you finish your meal, he would then show a room where the Creepypastas are. You would then fall unconscious once you exit the room.

Once you wake up, you would then find yourself inside a dark, unfamiliar area. You can scream help all you want but that isn't gonna save you. You are now in the Creepypasta Dimension. Do you wanna know how I know any of this? That's because I'm Jeff.