Reaper's reviews I: Garfield's Horrible day.

Alright, this is my first crack it reviewing a crappypasta. This Pasta's pretty bad. It's not Jeff the Killer levels of bad, nor Sonic.exe levels. However it's still pretty Garbage.

Lets begin

'''I'm a pretty big fan of Garfield, you know the comic strip character that's a fat orange cat with black stripes that loves lasagna. you probably do know about him and his huge fanbase'''

First of all, if you're assuming I know, then why explain all the damn details? If I was so confused, I could literally just google the name Garfield. Also "I'm a fan of ____" Cliche. Also Also you didn't capitalize the "Y" after the period.

'''But something that many Garfield fans don't know is that Garfield had some TV shows like Garfield And Friends, The majority of these were hand drawn shows that followed most of the traits that the comics had. '''

Uh, Actually most fans DO know about the tv shows. Also of course they follow the traits of the comics dipshit. Is this guy Captain Obvious, or something?

'''But there is one show I want to talk about called The Garfield Show. This was a computer animated show that was like Garfield And Friends, but with much better quality and a few more characters.'''

Quite Subjective there my friend. Also I haven't watched Garfield and Friends, but I honestly thought The Garfield Show was shit. Or the episodes I've seen, anyway. But then again, that's subjective.

'''I loved watching this show and so many others did that they had to keep it going to this day. But the show was supposed to stop at season 4, for reasons I will tell you in a second.'''

"I know something others don't" Cliche. Also can we just start with the damn story already? I know who fucking Garfield is.

'''When I was at a garage sale looking at some stuff to get. my eyes laid on a Garfield DVD which has the first 4 seasons of The Garfield Show. So I asked if I could pay for this, and the guy said "take it for free". I was so overjoyed that I ran to my house any put it into my DVD player.'''

Didn't Capitilize the "M" after the period. Also why would you not be suspicious if someone gave you a DVD of the first 4 seasons of The Garfield Show for free? Who the fuck would do that? Even though I don't like it, i'd at least make someone pay me for it. Also how did you get to the garage sale? You just suddenly teleported there.

'''It started at the intro where I could choose any episode from seasons 1-4. But at the very bottom of the list was an episode called: Garfield's Horrible Joy.'''

Roll credits.

'''I had no idea what this episode was but out of curiosity I clicked on it... I wish I hadn't clicked on it.'''

"I wish I hadn't done this" cliche.

'''It started out with Garfield sitting on the chair and eating what looked like a dog's ear. I was a little confused but thought it was just a little bit of lasagna. Then Nermle came over and said "hi." and kept bragging about how he’s the cutest cat in the world.'''

Why the fuck is he eating a dog's ear? The fuck? At least have some build up dammit! Also "I thought it was something else" cliche. Also Also if a guy's eating an ear, why would you brag to him so directly? Do you WANT to die? That's like if I walked up to the Joker, and I was like. "I'm the Funniest guy in the world!" And I did this while he was eating a guy's ear.

'''This is when things got scary. Garfield then closes his eyes, for two seconds they stay closed, then he opened his eyes revealing 2 bloodshot eyes, then Garfield grabbed Nermal by the neck and threw him against a wall.'''

Bloodshot eyes and some violence isn't scary. Also blood is mentioned, and yes it's a nitpick, but fuck you I nitpick what I want.

'''Then he pulled out a butcher knife that already had blood on it indicating that he already killed something with it and then slowly approached Nermal. I was terrified at what I saw but had to see what happened.'''

Damn the Grammar here is shit. Run-on sentence. Not using Possessives correctly. Also "had to keep watching" cliche. Also where would Garfield keep a fucking butcher's knife? And where did he GET a butcher's knife? Also blood. And it's real blood this time.

'''Then Nermal opened his eyes revealing to him Garfield with bloodshot eyes and a knife. Then Garfield stabbed Nermal in the stomach making blood spatter everywhere.'''

He hadn't opened his eyes yet? The fuck? Also take a shot every time he mentions blood.

'''Then came something that scared me for life about eating meat, Garfield ripped open Nermals chest and ATE his intestines, all the while Nermal screaming to death. I threw up at the sight but had to see the end regretting it.'''

I read this shitty pasta. I still am excited for the next time I'll eat meat. Also "all the while Nermal screaming to death." Forgot the "was" buddy. Also Also IF YOU THREW UP, STOP WATCHING YOU RETARD! Also Also Also. Why? Can someone explain why Garfield's a cannibal for no reason? Like goddamn, at least Sonic.exe had an explaniation why Sonic became mental!

'''After that Garfield went up the stairs and saw Jon working on his computer. Then Jon turns around.'''

“Oh, hey GarfiAAAAAAAAAAA!"and died.

A-Are we being trolled right now?

'''before Jon died Garfield did something scary he then leaped up at Jon stabbing his eye socket. Blood everywhere as he ran around the room until he just laid there dead.'''

Capital letters. Learn your goddamn capital letters. Also run-on sentence. Also Also i'm almost drunk. Also Also Also IF HE DIED EARLIER, HOW HE DID HE RUN AROUND THE ROOM YOU RETARD?

'''Then it showed a close up of The front door. For ten seconds nothing happened, then Garfield’s face appeared. He had demonic Sharp teeth and HUGE bloodshot eyes and a message repeatedly flashed on the screen saying "I'M GONNA KILL YOU SAM SAM SAM" with a demonic voice.'''

Sharp teeth aren't demonic. Also blood. Also Also exact timing. Also Also Also seriously, are we being trolled?

'''I Immediately took the disc and smashed it to bits, I will never see Garfield or any cat again. Because, every time I see a cat, I always see those red bloodshot eyes. Watching that disc has let out a demon, and that demon is after me.'''

​​​​​​​Destroying the Evidence. Also didn't you want to watch the other seasons? Also dEmiN. Bloodshot eyes aren't that scary. Damn that demon is pathetic.

'''As I record this. Garfield is slamming on my door, meowing his normal meow from the show, and I know that when he kills me. The last thing I will see are those red bloodshot eyes.'''

​​​​​​​When did Garfield come into real life? The fuck? Also just grab a shotgun, dumbass. Or hell, a baseball bat. HE'S A FUCKING CAT. Also you're in a life-threatening situation. And rather than calling the cops, or doing something productive, you're writing this shit down?

Final Verdict:

1.23423434 T-Pose Toads / 9239429349 Shaggbees. (1.7/10)

It wasn't as bad as the infamous pastas, but it sure as hell was terrible. Also you mentioned that this episode is the reason for there not being a Season 5. Why? You're the only person who's seen it. Anyway, thanks for reading.

Credited to DarknessReaper9