Nitpick Archive: SpongeBob Part 1

I have come to the realization that the only Crappypastas worse than Jeff OCs are SpongeBob pastas, so I have put it on myself to tear down each and every SbSp Crappypasta on our site. This will of course take a few installments, which I hope nobody minds.

??? (Spongebob Lost Episode)
I love watching Spongebob episodes.

Everyone does. You're not so special.

Only the ones that are from seasons 1-3.

I'm one of those few people who are of the opinion that the show's best seasons were 4 through 9.

But i had the episode was the most traumatizing, that i ill never forget.

"i ill"? You're sick? I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you get over your cold soon.

It started when i was 8

But that's not going to be for another two years.

'''and i was watching Nickelodeon. But then Nickelodeon said that a new Spongebob episode will be on the TV right now. I was exited and continued watching.'''

I feel that the sudden, announced at the last minute new episode set-up is a cliche.

'''The episode started, but the title card was saying ???. I was confused, but i continued on.'''

Imagine thinking so much into a new episode that a title confuses you.

The episode started with a closeup of Spongebob house

SpongeBob is not a house!

'''but nobody was there. No one. Even the sound was gone.'''

The sound was gone? Where did he go? Seriously, quit thinking too much into this. Maybe there is no sound because there is nobody around, and the crew thought it would be better without music?

Then there was static for 5 seconds.

STOP WATCH!

'''But now we finally see Spongebob. He wakes up, dresses himself and goes to work, as usual. I was very curious on what will happen next.'''

We're seeing a normal day in his life and this makes you curious? Jesus kid, did your handlers give you too much concentration medicine?

But the episode shows 10 minutes of footage of work in Krusty Krabs for some reason.

This episode sounds boring as fuck.

I was bored by this so i played on my tablet

And your fidget-spinner prolly.

'''untill the footage has ended. And as the minutes went by i see that Spongebob started to be sad.'''

He realized he was in a shitty story and it bummed him out.

When the work at Krusty Krabs ended, I see Spongebob going to his house sadder than ever before

Oh yeah, because he is like ALWAYS soooooo sad!

when out of the blue some hooded man goes to Spongebob.

HODED PPL R SCURY!

'''He asks "Do you want to be HAPPY?". Spongebob replied with a quiet "Yes.". But the man instatly injects a syringe filed with a transtparent fluid'''

Oh my God!

pushed Spongebob into his house and runs away.

You changed tenses six words later. Great spelling, author!

'''I was weirded out by this, but i was still curious. Then we see Spongebob in his bed room with dialeted pupils, blood leaking out of his nose, and blood leaking out from the place, where the man injected his syringe.'''

BLOOOOOD IS SCURRRRRRRRY!

Suddenly, Spongebob was strangiling Gary, leaving blood in his hands.

Well that escalated!

'''Spongebob then decided to bash his head into the floor, causing him to have a bloody forehead. But even that wasn't enough, when Spongebob grabed a knife and carved letters in his arms and legs.'''

I don't know who needs a psychiatric hospital more, SpongeBob or the author.

'''And Spongebob passed away, probably because of the blood loss that Spongebob made. I was crying at this time. And the screen flashed with green and black colours and a smiley face in the middle. But suddenly the TV screamed at max volume "DO WANNA BE HAPPY!?".'''

What? There's nothing unusual about a television set, an inanimate object, shouting like a person.

'''At this moment i was crying inside and was scared. But my mom heared this and ran into the living room where i was been. She grabbed me in her arms and ran while i was screaming out of fear. I swear, i never watched Spongebob in a decade after this.'''

I hope she took you back to your special needs school, or to an insane asylum. Like every mother in shitty stories, this one doesn't give a fuck. She just wants her little goblin to shut up.

Alone.png
Lets just get strait to the point.

The very first and forth words are spelled wrong. Let this set the tone.

'''One thing before I continue, If you don't like sad or sorrow stuff don't read this. You have been warned.'''

You forgot to add "shitty stories" to the list.

'''It was September 20th which mean't school was starting up again. I don't know about you but Nickelodeon Is awesome'''

It used to be in the 1990s and early 2000s, but after that it, like Disney, became a line-up of shitty live action shows for teenagers.

but very controversial at the same time.

How?! Are you talking about all that dirty stuff on Rocko's Modern Life, or that unaired "last" episode of Angry Beavers?

'''By the time I viewed this episode I got no sleep. Not because I was traumatized, but the episode was a 4 1/2 hour long episode.'''

So the production crew wasted a fuck ton of time to make a special just for the scarez?

'''I had made myself some popcorn and began watching the shows before the last one aired for the night. The episodes like " Not Normal and, Plankton's Good Eye."'''

You put a space after the first quotation mark, stupid!

'''When The last episode aired It was a very long one. I don't know about you but I'm very sensitive to sad topics.'''

Nancy boy!

'''The reason I'm talking about this episode Is not to scar you emotionally, Its to teach you and other people with respect. Even If you despise their thought on you.'''

What the fuck does that mean?

'''The episode In question was just like any other episode. It was actually more like a sadder version of " Sleepytime/Suds." You know where Spongebob gets sick. The episode had the usually happy goofy ukulele music.'''

And we're never told what it has instead.

'''Spongebob and Patrick were In Jellyfish Fields catching jellyfish with their trade mark laughs and giggles. This particular day was Spongebob's birthday.'''

And you didn't notice that the episode was different? Dumbass!

'''When they got home Patrick and Spongebob were still laughing like they were still out In Jellyfish Fields. To be honest It brightened up my mood because my hamster got sick and died.'''

Your pet had an unimaginably painful disease that took its life, but you don't give a fuck just because two cartoon-assholes are laughing. Guess you aren't as sensitive as you thought.

'''When Spongebob and Patrick finally settled down, Spongebob didn't seem right. He lost most of his energy just by breathing. I thought he was over exhausted so I didn't think much of It. Patrick sees Spongebob trying to regain his breath. Patrick gets concerned and asks Spongebob " Hey buddy are you okay?" As soon as Patrick said that Spongebob began looking nervous and uneasy. " Spongebob?" Patrick called out once again. Spongebob finally said before running out of Patrick's house " Yeah I'm fine, I just need to go home and lay down." Spongebob jolted out of Patrick's house as If he were running from a bear. Spongebob then went up to his bed and shut off the lights.'''

Well that went nowhere.

'''The next day Spongebob called Patrick on his phone. The typical ringtone that was used In the cartoons went on for 4 seconds before Patrick picked up. " Hello, Spongebob?" Patrick said. "Yeah!" cough. Spongebob replied.'''

who is cough, and why did they respond instead of SpongeBob?

'''Patrick then asks If Spongebob If he would be up for jelly fishing. " Spongebob then replied " Oh..,about that!" Patrick responds In a nervous tone " What?" Spongebob pauses for a moment. Spongebob then finally said " The doctor came and I have the flu." " I'm not gonna be able to play for at least 2 weeks.'''

Apparently Bikini Bottom's doctors can tell exactly how long a flu can last.

'''Patrick then whines " Awww!! I hope you get better." Spongebob then said In a happy reassuring voice" Hey Pat I'll call you when I'm able to play. Patrick's face lit up and he hung up. Patrick then went to the Krusty Krab and ate lunch.'''

And this goes nowhere...

'''The episode continued with Patrick trying to find something to do before eventually giving up. He went back to his rock house and watched TV. The scene then cut to Patrick sitting on his lay z boy.'''

PRODUCT PLACEMENT! Maybe they need it, a four hour long special must cost a lot of money.

'''It looked like a time lapse or a fast forward. Every picture showed Patrick growing a short and dull beard and he started looking more depressed. At this point I had to take a break. This was already getting way to much for me.'''

A character getting a flu and his friend not being able to find something to do "gets" to you, but you don't give a shit that your pet died a horrible death. I hope you see your favorite singer in the store and they punch you right in the throat.

'''Eventually the camera was zoomed Into Patrick's angry forlorn face. The typical sad lazy music began playing. But Patrick's eyes were red as If he had pink eye.'''

Patrick's a slob so he probably touched his eyes with his poop-infested whatever-he-has-instead-of-a-hand.

'''Patrick begins to violently growl expressing his anger and frustration. The french narrator said " Two months later!" The scene cut back to Patrick who was completely pissed off at this point.'''

The illness was supposed to only last two weeks. What the fuck? Did Patrick forget? Did SpongeBob forget to tell him when he felt better?

'''Patrick ran out of his house and frantically runs to sandy's house to find info about Spongebob. When he got their he immediately shouted at Sandy " Where Is Spongebob?" Sandy now getting slightly worried on how Patrick was gonna take the news. She managed to say " He's In the hospital he's not doing so good."'''

For some reason Sandy knows this before SpongeBob's closest friend does.

'''And with that Patrick bolts out of the tree dome and runs to the hospital. Patrick runs Into a doctor and tries to get past him. " Stay back, that patient Is deadly sick!!"'''

deathly sick.

'''The time card pops up with 2 hours later. The scene cuts back to Patrick still laying In the lobby with the same creepy music. The doctor finally comes out with the most sorrow face. He finally chokes up the words " I'm sorry Patrick he's gone!" " He died of a bacterial disease that Is unknown to us!"'''

Somehow the doctor knows which patient Patrick is there for. Maybe he doesn't, and he is assuming his most sick his patient was the one he came for.

'''Patrick with tears streaming down his face runs Into the hospital room where Spongebob Is. Patrick Neil's down next to him.'''

Who is Neil, and what is he doing at SpongeBob's death bed?

'''Patrick begins sobbing softly. At this point I had to take another break. I cried for what seemed like ten minutes before continuing.'''

HURR-DURR! SAD SPUNJBUB IPISUDE!

'''The day of Spongebob's funeral came. This was probably one of the most scenes In this whole episode.'''

The fuck's that supposed to mean?

Spongebob's funeral takes place In a small church 2 miles from the Krusty Krab.

First of all, how do you know how far away it is? And does Bikini Bottom even have churches? I doubt it, the people there act like they need Jesus.

Patrick Is dressed In a black tuxedo

You mean a suit? Probably. I doubt the author knows what a suit is, and if he does I doubt he knows the difference.

'''and was obviously crying super hard. The classic sad church organ music began playing making me ball and sob during the whole thing. Call me a wussy If you want I don't care.'''

Ok. WUSSY!

'''The priest began speaking " We are gathered here In this church to remember, grieve, but most importantly celebrate the life of Spongebob Squarepants." Everyone In the room begins to cry. The priest began " I know It's so hard but please, can someone please come to the altar and say a few words about Spongebob.'''

Apparently SpongeBob didn't have a will, and no one could decide who should give the eulogie, so the priest decided that it was fair game for whoever wanted to do it.

'''Mr Krabs began to speak " Spongebob was...like a son to me." " Being the cheapskate I am I'm surprised Spongebob stuck with me." Mr Krabs said wiping a few tears away.'''

This raises a question: has Mr. Krabs ever acknowledged how cheap he was when the plot didn't call for it?

'''" Spongebob you were a good laddy!" " May your soul be at peace now!" Mr Krabs walked down from the altar. Sandy was next " Spongebob, I remember the day I first met you!" She said with a breaking voice. "I mean golly, you were one of the most fascinating sea critters I've ever met." Sandy then said In her final words " Were all really proud of you Spongebob!"'''

Nothing really meaningful said there, but alright. Also "Were all proud of you"? The way that looks she is saying they were proud of him, but that pride has ceased with SpongeBob.

'''Patrick hesitantly walked up to the altar. He sighed and wiped a few tears away. He finally spoke " I remember the first day I ever met Spongebob." " I was dealing with the loss of my parents when they died In a car crash." He said.'''

"Does this lovely couple belong to you?"[[File:PATRICKSDEADPARENTS.jpg|thumb|250px|Patrick's parents who supposedly died. Author never saw this episode, apparently.

Thanks to Encyclopedia SpongeBobia ]]

'''" Spongebob told me, even though my parents were gone It didn't mean I was worthless or had no purpose." Patrick began to sob.'''

Jesus man, you needed someone to tell you that? You really are a moron.

'''" If I could have him back, even just for a day I would make It the best day he's ever had." Patrick turned to the coffin and said " Spongebob... may you rest In peace." Patrick began sobbing. He walked away from the altar. The funeral ended with a few happy songs before the burial took place. After the burial, Squidward walked up to Patrick and said " Hey Patrick, how about we walk home together?" Patrick's face immediately lit up with a smile. Squidward and Patrick walked together down the path to their houses. The episode finally ended with Squidward saying " Hey, how about I show you a couple songs I've been working on?"'''

So... Squidward's his friend now?

And with that the story ends. It kind of confuses me why it is called Alone.png when this has literally nothing to do with an image file. I am going to point out something else that is painfully obvious: there wasn't enough material here for it to fit a four and a half hour special.

Another Lost Episode
Anyone heard of SpongeBob SquarePants?

No, I don't think so. It's TOTALLY the most obscure show of all time. Seriously, if you ask someone you know if they ever heard of SpongeBob they'd probably think you were calling them mentally handicapped.

I'm just going to pretend you have and get on with the story.

s/ No! I haven't! I don't know about the world's most popular cartoon! I'm a dumbass who never heard of it! There totally is NOT merchandise of it everywhere, u guize!

I wasn't an IT at any animation studio, but I was very interested in how things started.

I'm surprised you weren't an intern.

I kept hearing these rumors about the first aired episode of SpongeBob not being the first episode made.

Well, it probably wasn't. Usually cartoonists make pitch pilots specifically for the network they are approaching to produce the series.

'''As you see, I got interested and started searching around for it. In the middle of a walk I noticed a disk case with a piece of paper that said "SpongeBob 0" glued on it.'''

We're in the same world as Sonic.exe, so you have to come up with your own conclusion what "disk case" means. I'm assuming it was a jewel case. It's sad that I, someone who hates this story, has to fill in the gaps the author didn't give enough of a rat's ass to.

I picked it up, finished the walk, headed home, cleaned the disk and popped it in my computer.

"The thing I want just magically appeared on the ground, even though the network should have disposed of it. I went home before my shift ended and got fired the next day" is how I read it.

'''The first thing I noticed is the pirate skips "Are you ready kids?" and he was just on top of a plain blue background. I just figured it was an early version of the episode.'''

Fucking Sherlock over here!

'''Anyway, the rest of the intro was normal. It started with SpongeBob getting out of bed and going to the Krusty Krab. He didn't say anything for the whole walk. Squidward didn't even pop out of his window and yell at SpongeBob. When he went inside no one was there. He started making Krabby Patties.'''

This proto-episode should follow a similar plot to the actual pilot, but what the fuck do I know?

It then cut to Squidward actually at the Krusty Krab taking people's orders.

I thought we were already AT the Krusty Krab...?

I said to myself "Well that's strange".

How so? Maybe he is commenting on his missing chromosome.

'''Then SpongeBob says "Hey Squidward!". I then noticed a flash of something (I later found that it was Squidward standing over SpongeBob's body at night)'''

SUPR SPOOPY IMG!

'''Squidward didn't respond at all. It then just cuts to 5 minute of static. When it goes back to normal, it's just Squidward walking down the street looking depressed for the rest of the episode. I'm going to take this to Nickelodeon and see what they say about it. I'll edit this when I do.'''

"I'm going to go to work and tell them how I committed workplace theft, and before I get fired and possibly arrested (we all know this isn't his first offense, come on!) I'm going to ask about the episode, then edit it for some reason, even though you would want to see the real thing."

'''Edit: Alright. I don't know what the hell is going on here. I went into Nickelodeon Studios and when I gave it to someone, everyone in the room just started staring at me.'''

Probably because you stupidly confessed to stealing from your own workplace. They were probably pissed off at you.

'''I headed home hoping that nothing bad was going on, and when I got home, my TV and computer was smashed into pieces. I borrowed my friend's laptop to write this.'''

I thought this was supposed to be a rip-off of Squidward's Suicide, not Happy Appy!

'''Edit: Again. I don't know what was up with that episode, but I do know that some crazy person was outside my house yesterday.'''

Happy Appy Appy App! Happy App! Happy App!

'''I woke up in the middle of the night to a gunshot. When I looked out the window someone was laying in my front yard dead. And to make it worse, my name was written in blood above the body.'''

On what? Maybe your boss wants to kill you for stealing from your workplace? Kind of drastic, but why not?

I couldn't go back to sleep.

You should have called the police instead of just ignore it, but hey it was just a murder, nothing major!

'''But when it turned day I looked outside to see that the body wasn't there. I swear I'm hallucinating now.'''

Or maybe the body was removed, you paranoid nutcase!

'''Just got a package in the mail. Another SpongeBob lost episode. The thing that creeps me out is that there isn't even an address on it.'''

Maybe someone put it in your mailbox instead of mailing it?

'''I didn't even tell anyone I know about this. The DVD won't play anyways. I pop it in both my DVD player and my computer and nothing.'''

Then how do you know it's a lost SpongeBob episode?

'''I swear, if someone I don't know comes to my door in the middle of the night I'm going to make sure he never comes back. Now to find my damn 9mm pistol.'''

The story breaks off here, so I'm assuming that God answered our prayers and someone murdered the author brutally.

Bootleg squidward plush
6 Teens Found A Bunch Of Squidward plushes knocked off the shelves of an abandoned toy store.

What they are doing there or how they got there is never explained.

One of the Teens picked up One of the Squidward plushes and brought them to One Of the 6 Teens houses Since The Other 5 Were Going There Too.

Why didn't they just steal all of the Squidward plushes and sell them? Why didn't they steal everything and sell it?

'''They Left It There, and the Teen who lived In That House Took A Picture Of The Plush. Wich is the image that your looking at right now. A day later the teen who kept the Plushie Was Found Dead In his house with the bootleg toy in his hand.'''

2SPOOPY99ME!

The Cops say that he had a seizure and died, The other One Went Missing on the same day, The second one (he told people he was the second one after people asked him about it after it popped up on the news) seeks therapy.

He's probably going to therapy because his friends died and he's having a hard time taking two gigantic tragedies on at once.

'''Another one had a Heart Attack and died. Another one Broke His Legs, And The Last One Suffocated. People who own This Plush Usually Report of hearing music coming out of nowhere. The One Who Went Missing Was Found Dead In the still on freezer of the toy store.'''

WTF kind of toy store has a freezer? I bet if the author had a toy store it would have a freezer.

Bootleg: Something's Up With Nicktoons
Something Really Mysterious Is Something Up With Nicktoons

Oh, you mean how if a show gets kind of popular but not too popular on Nickelodeon it gets moved there for a year before disappearing?

Nicktoons Was Removed since TeenNick Took Over by Airing Old Episodes Of Kids Cartoons Under The New Channel Block

I'm not sure what country you're from, but I'm from the United States where Nicktoons still is Nicktoons. TeenNick is a block the channel has that plays old cartoons from the 90's.

Nicktoons Had To Close The Doors For Good In The End.

In your country, maybe. Then again, you probably are in America, in which case I have two scenarios. One: the mental hospital you have to stay in until you're properly trained doesn't let you watch Nicktoons anymore. Two: your parents don't pay their bills so the cable company had to cut off prescription channels (though some have Nicktoons as part of a basic package).

I was undercover in India to check out any activity

Well that answers the question on where in the world the author is from. India is such a nice country, it's a shame that even they get bad lost episode pastas.

I went inside a store called "NickIndia DVDs" In Comic Sans..Font?

I would be more confused as to why the store was written in English instead of Hindi, and why they were selling DVDs instead of the more affordable VCDs that are more common in those parts of Asia.

I was a little uneased to look inside, but I build enough courage and went in.

I was soooo scared by the comic sans!

'''A Nice man (I called him Kai) Greeted me with a friendly Welcome. He said "Welcome To NickIndia, Home For Unreleased Cartoon Episodes And Cartoons Canceled"'''

Must be a pretty small store, concerning there aren't many of those. Also, how the Hell is that even profitable?

I looked around in the 5

Is that how many they were selling; five videos?

'''I picked up Kappa Mikey And Invader Zim. But one DVD caught me; It was a black DVD called "Something's Up With Nicktoons" I opened the DVD and looked.'''

You opened up the DVD...? As in you cracked it open? If I were the store's owner I would kick your ass out for destroying merchandise! Jokes aside, why the HELL were they allowed to open it up?

It was in perfect condition;

It can't be in perfect condition, you just broke it. Seriously though, of course it does! Is this a second-hand store? I doubt it.

'''I took it to and said "How Much these cost?" He said "That'll be...Free for your first visit"'''

Sells obscure things no one would want to buy, lets people open up merchandise and potentially steal it (or destroy merchandise, as according to my joke), sells DVDs instead of the much more affordable (therefore more in-demand) VCDs, gives stuff away for free. At this rate, you'll have to close down within a week. Did the owner unintentionally hire his enemy?

'''I was surprised! Not Only I got Friendly People, But I got Free stuff For First Visit!'''

You're surprised at the friendliness because the last few stores kicked you out for destroying merchandise and complaining about font-types.

I flew back home and pulled out my DVD player and inserted in

So where the fuck did you live if you have to fly? And why did you choose an obscure shop in India of all places? And does the author not know about region codes?

'''It first opened with the logos, Paramount Pictures And Nicktoons Studios Then It Cut To A Black TitleCard Saying "Nicktoons: Something's Up" It cut to camera footage of a group of people running to the animation department, the camera jolted to one of the people. The person opened the door and literally screamed as it showed one of the writers (Paul Tibbit) Screaming and Insanity.'''

LOLWUT?

'''One person calmed him down while the others looked skeptical. One writer screamed "WHAT IN THE (Bleep) ARE YOU WRITING!"'''

So this person gets chased, and now they're in trouble for writing something. Also why is this censored? And who leaked this? These and other great questions will never be answered.

It was replaced with a duck sound as the camera looked at the drawings.

Fucking LOL!

It was horrible kids drawing style characters of Spongebob.

Just because they're young and they can't draw for shit doesn't mean you have to call them horrible!

'''He was flailing his arms and screaming; Then the camera cut to the people sitting down with Paul Tibbit It. The People Asked "Why Did you these?"'''

Yeah, why?! WHY did you make a random sounding animation?!

He at them for one second and then he started screaming again

Slap him!

'''and then he stopped 2 seconds in as he said "SO MUCH WORK, NEED CALM!" Paul pulled out a soda and chugged it, then he coughed up and collapsed. the camera zoomed into The Bottle. It was a sickly green Coco-Cola Drink;'''

In the United States we call it Mountain Dew. Also, how come this was never reported on?

It was Moldy And OutDated as the credits played

Soda doesn't grow mold, but what the fuck ever. This isn't the most stupidest thing that happened in the story.

'''as I said before, the episode ended; I didn't really surprised. I was terrified but not too much; I put away the DVD and before destroying the DVD. I put the case in a safe..and never seen it..again..'''

Why keep it?

'''Until 2 Years later when I found a picture on Google. It was one of the drawings, It showed pointing the screen with 2 small eyes as he said "Edge, Is what pushed us and we can't stop"'''

Blackfridayincident.ripoff.

Dead Squidward
there was a link that says "FREE NEVER SEEN SPONGEBOB EPISODE!"

The story doesn't start here, I just started it here because I couldn't comment on what came before it.

'''I asked a couple of people if they watched this, No one replies. It's like the channel was a desert. The link brought me to a dropbox website, which of course, you instantly download it.'''

Then the author got a virus that stole his entire family's credit card numbers, identities, and social security numbers. Author was a dumbass for downloading random shit, and his dad beat the daylights out of him for destroying their only computer.

You don't have to wait 30 seconds or use any verifications.

Because scammers are eager to put viruses on your computer.

It took about half an hour to download, I don't know why.

Nothing was downloading, but something was uploading. That "something" being your personal information. Oh no, wait, I take that back. Something was downloading. It replaced your wallpaper with a phone number that connected to a scam hotline that steals your identity and locks up your computer.

But as happy as I was that there was an unseen episode I decided to start it.

How long did it take you to decide?

'''The episode starts with SpongeBob walking by Squidward's house and starts making, eerie.... some kind of static sound. It startled me a little and I punched my headphones cause I thought they were the problem'''

Maybe they're acting up because you childishly beat them up. How many computer monitors did you smash because a web page didn't load?

'''However the static stops and Squidward says: "STOP SCREAMING SPONGEBOB, I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!". How he yelled almost made me deaf, Probably the guy who was uploading this messed up the sound.'''

How about you quit blaming everyone else and blame yourself for your stupid decision to have the sound up too loudly.

Squidward's eyes flashed for a second, I managed to pause the frame.

Here we go... SUPR SKRY PICHSUR, GUIZE! IT FLASHDED!

'''This is the picture, it is the most disturbing, thing I have ever seen. If a child saw this they would probably crap their pants,'''

You are a child, and you probably did crap your pants. Not that it's different from any other day.

I can't believe what Nickelodeon would do, or who ever this sick, mentally devastated person is.

What do you expect if you download random shit off the internet, jackass?

'''I continued to watch the episode, but I still feel sick after seeing that..... picture....... '''

We are never told what the image was since author has no imagination.

'''The sounds started to work normally, they didn't make any loud yelling or static. Squidward said: "SPONGEBOB, IF YOU DON'T STOP YELLING I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND MYSELF. YOU HEAR ME?".'''

This reminds me of the soundboard recording of Judge Judy saying "I will kill you, and then I will kill myself!"

I can't believe Nickelodeon inserted this line

Yeah! Nick did it, not some random person! BLAME GAME!

'''This is the most disturbing, possibly. Thing in history of Nickelodeon cartoons.'''

Yeah, never mind that episode of SpongeBob where he gets a splinter, or anything Ren and Stimpy did.

'''Squidward killing himself and SpongeBob? That's just too much Nickelodeon.'''

It was just a line, it's not like he actually did it! I guess the author never heard the line "We do this for forty years, and then we die!"

'''I was about to stop the video but squidward's eyes turned red as I was attempting to press the X button on top of the window. Squidward says: "Oh not so fast."'''

BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! YOU'RE BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

'''Squidward: You are going to help me. Even if you don't want to.'''

O NOs IT IS TALKIN TUH MEH!

'''SpongeBob went to the Krusty Krabs with his hat, of course. He was going to cook some patties but, Squidward just, teleports to his back and... HE HAS A KNIFE. Seriously Nickelodeon?'''

ITS UR FAULT, NICKUHLOODIUN! Seriously dude, fuck off!

'''Squidward stabs SpongeBob and he cries so hard it almost blew my headphones, Blood starts dripping out and Squidward continues to stab him repeatedly. All of his blood flows away and Squidward grabs his heart and rips it out, Even more "blood" comes out. It isn't blood, It is something black, I don't know what.'''

What you don't know could fill a warehouse, kid!

'''Seriously, what the fuck Nickelodeon? Did you make this or the guy who made the site is just trolling me?'''

Oh yeah, it's a HUGE conspiracy! Everyone in the world is out to get you! Jesus, kid! I'm surprised you aren't wearing tin-foil hats! Like a big animation studio would waste resources by randomly choosing some little jackass who blames everyone for his problems and pirates videos off of potentially virus-infested websites to fuck with!

'''Thank you for having the time to read my story, Don't make the same mistake as me. Peace.'''

And by "same mistake" he means don't write shitty stories and blame everyone else for your problems.

Deadsponge.avi
The video shows an outside view of SpongeBob's pineapple house for about 2 minutes.

Ok, no framing device for this story. Also, that sounds boring!

The door was open as if someone was about to enter in it, but no one did.

Maybe the viewer is supposed to be the one entering it? You know, like they do sometimes?

After 2 minutes of this

So we're four minutes into the show and nothing interesting happens.

'''the camera shot inside to SpongeBob's bedroom where SpongeBob is sleeping. For about 20 seconds, the foghorn clock starts to make the foghorn sound, as usual. SpongeBob got up, stopped the clock, and shouted, "Hooray!"'''

Four minutes and twenty seconds in now.

'''He put on his pants, and said, "This is going to be the perfect day! This is because..." He dashes over to his calendar, and flips it. "...I have to drive a boat. I feel like I am going to get my driver's license!"'''

I haven't read this yet, but let me guess: he is going to fail and then kill himself.

'''He jumped for joy, then ran out of the house, got to Mrs. Puff's boating school, then grabs a boat. This is where things began to get weird. He drives the boat without caution for about a minute, then crashes into another boat'''

That is TOTALLY unusual for an episode of SpongeBob!

'''causing his blood and brain to ooze slowly out of his holes. He just lied there without doing anything for about 2 minutes, before it cut to black.'''

Does the author even know how long two minutes are? Doubt it!

'''There were episodes of clips moving fast for about 7 seconds while a low beep can be heard. After that, it cut to a funeral where there are a bunch of tombstones. SpongeBob's friends were there, even Squidward. They threw flowers at the tombstone,'''

They threw flowers at the tombstone? Why not respectfully place it on his grave? If I were him I would haunt the fuck out of them just for spite.

then they all began to cry and say, "We are going to miss you, SpongeBob," while a deep Russian voice can be heard in the background, meaning, "Death and misery are both in your hands."

Foreign languages are scary, you guys!

After 20 seconds of this happened, the crying and the deep voice stopped, and Patrick came up on the screen and took his eyeballs out, then cuts to a hyper-realistic drawn picture of SpongeBob with a stitched mouth, screaming,

How can he scream if his mouth is stitched?

while a deep voice of a man screaming can be heard, with faint static, and a deep voice whispering slowly.

I DID NOT STEAL THIS FROM SQUIDWARD'S SUICIDE, U GUIZE!

'''Then the video ends with static for 4 seconds. As far as I know, no one else has seen it, but it's somewhere on 4shared called, 'deadsponge.avi.' If they have the copy of the video on YouTube, then, this means that this has to be somewhat huge.'''

"I read that last part on Suicidemouse.avi and thought it was scary, so I thought if I added it here my story would be scary too!" Like no one is going to notice that big of a rip-off!

Don't Watch! Please!
My sister loves SpongeBob, but it was summer and this summer no episode came on.

You probably had it at the wrong channel, seeing as you can catch it on Nickelodeon at any given time.

'''"I WANT TO WATCH SPONGEBOB!" she screamed,'''

Up next on the Supernanny...

'''"But it's summer!" I yelled,'''

Jesus man, your family has issues!

'''"I WANT TO WATCH SPONGEBOB!!!" she screamed again, punching my leg.'''

It was at that moment their mother regretted not taking a morning after pill. Hopefully, she can find a children's mental institution to push this overbuzzed sugar monkey into.

I searched on YouTube but I didn't find anything,

You probably spelled it wrong, otherwise you'll get livestreams, fan documentaries, meme and vine videos, YouTube Poop, and episodes that are hideously modified to avoid copyright claims.

I emailed my boss at work and he linked me to one YouTube video, so I clicked on it...

"I know, I'll bother my boss with something as marginal as my sister wanting to watch SpongeBob! He has nothing better to do! Not like he has a business to run or anything."

The screen started black for 10 seconds

The video was probably loading.

'''and then a crack and glass breaking sounds came on. The video told me to not watch it.'''

"I said ok, and clicked back. The End."

This was definetly not a normal SpongeBob episode, But then the crying scene from Grandma's Kisses came up and blood-red letters were across the screen "I AM SORRY BUT I WILL NEED TO COMMIT SUICIDE" "WHY DO YOU LIVE" Then a picture of a gravestone saying RIP SpongeBob came up, I instantly got scared, the screen turned black once more....

The fuck...?

'''I TOLD YOU NOT TO WATCH!!! THE DEAD SPIRIT OF SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS WILL STALK YOU AND MURDER YOU!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO WATCH!!!'''

That sounds even more stupider than when authors claim their OCs will kill Creepypasta Wiki administrators for deleting their stories.

'The video stopped, I sat there in silence. 2 weeks later a man was found dead,'

There's no way that could have been a coincidence! Seriously buddy, people die all the time. Also, IM DED BUT ROTE DIS STOREE trope.

he had a younger sister who adored SpongeBob SquarePants.

So we have read...

'According to some people, he watched a video on YouTube 2 weeks before his death. The cause was unknown. '

We don't know how he died, we just know he died. Good police work there. If the main character is as incompetent and mentally ill as I suspect, his boss sent him that video to kill him since laws that protect people with mental disabilities from being fired.

Dragon's Den
I had a wierd dream today.

DREAMS ARE SCARY! One mistake that a lot of new-comer Creepypasta authors make is thinking that nightmares make good stories. They especially make bad framing devices.

'''It was of a wierd lost episode of Spongebob Squarepants. The episode was called "DrAgonS DeN". The title screen was just the Dragons Den on a completely black background.'''

We are never told how this is a lost episode. It just is!

'''The episode started. The black faded into an obscure black and white image. It was of squidward, his eyes the size of baseballs.'''

He has big eyes in the actual show anyway...

There was a greyish liquid squirting from his eyesockets that looked like blood!

BLUDT IS SCURY!

'''Oh, and the background. It was barren sand, a couple rocks scattered here and there.'''

That sounds soothing. All it needs is a shifting ocean, blankets, and a table with lemonade on it.

'''Then it faded into another picture. It was of spongebob sitting alone in the same landscape, the rocks taking shapes of knives, axes, and faces.'''

What the fuck kind of drugs are you on?

'''He was facing away from the screen. After 1 minute of staring at him, he turns around..He had absolutely no face. No eyes, no nose, no mouth.'''

Oh nose! See what I did there?

Then it faded into the actual episode.

Near the beginning you said the episode started! Is this the real one, or not?

'''Spongebob got out of bed. He called patrick to have a Play-Date. Patrick, in no time, burst through the door, looking scared. What intrigued me was that he had multiple lacerations near the mouth.'''

Fatty probably tried to eat glass or something sharp.

'''Spongebob said "Why are you scared?". Patrick replied with multiple mumbles. Spongebob gasps for whatever reason, goes to the broken door, and starts welding a metal plate to the door.'''

Never mind that his door pretty much is a metal plate.

'''Right as he was going to nail a nail into the door, Squidward jumps into the window, and lands right next to Patrick. He mumbled aswell,and breathed heavily. Spongebob, with no care about squidward, says "Oh right! The windows!" and starts boarding up all the windows.'''

Yeah, because SpongeBob NEVER disregards Squidward's well being!

Spongebob goes into the kitchen, and brings out some krabby patties for whatever reason.

Or maybe they were just regular burgers, and the reason he brought them was so his friends have food?

'''He looked scared aswell. He chucked down them all greedily. Patrick and Squidward say "Hey! Our food!".'''

Kill him!

'''Right after that, a bang is heard near the door. You can hear a deep voice saying "I hear you!" too. Because of that, the three hide. Patrick hid in the fridge, Squidward hid in the library, and Spongebob hid under the bed. The door breaks open to reveal what looks like a ghost! He flew into the house.'''

Great description of the ghost there, author.

'''He went under the bed, and screaming could be heard. Same happened when he entered the library and the fridge. Then it zoomed out. Earth, then the solarsystem, then stars, then nebulae, and then our galaxy. It was spinning fast, moving toward Andromeda. Soon, they collide, smashing together, the dust flinging everywhere.'''

So the world ends if a ghost touches SpongeBob characters?

It abruptly flashed black, and it ended.

Thank God.

Evil Spongebob the video game
Everyone used to know Spongebob Squarepants as a happy/irritating/annoying gay

Great, homophobia! Not only do I hate you for writing shitty stories, but now I hate you for your ignorance.

'''little sea sponge who lived in a pineapple under the sea. But now he's gone insane! Because of a recent nuclear plant explosion'''

A popular theory is that the show is the result of nuclear testing. Just sayin'.

Spongebob has been infected with a severe disease called "hanniloses"(thirsty for blood and hungry for human flesh)

SpongeBob should consider himself lucky that he got infected instead of being annihilated by an explosion. Also, since humans very rarely show up, good luck to him assuaging his thirst.

This terrifying little monster now roams the streets day and night prowling for one thing to devour: human flesh and blood!

Good luck finding it in a population of sea creatures.

Now it's up to you and a bunch of inexperienced gunners who will eventually die throughout the game thanks to spongebob.(except you survive at the end) Find Spongebob and kill him!

Ok, so this is a game advertisement? I doubt they would allow homophobia, but whatever. Also, that's very encouraging "You're gonna lose the game a lot, dummy-losers!"

"There was nothing we could do, he laughed and killed Mr. Krabs.

He is supposed to be hungry for humans, but whatever.

'''As he kept laughing, he stabbed Old Man Jenkins in the stomach then cut open a hole in his chest and stuffed it with coral, then he laughed some more. Then he took out a fire arm gun out of his pocket then shot all the innocent people in the head, spreading brains and guts everywhere...'''

First homophobia, now mass shootings. Jesus, author!

'''Then Squidword tried to end this reign of terror. But before he could go grab his clarinet, that sponge piece of shit ripped his large dangly nose off and stuffed it down his throat and choked to death. Still Spongebob kept on laughing as he continued to kill everyone in his sight for no reason. This has brought fucking hell and torture to Bikini Bottom. I dare not speak more of the actions this hell raiser has done, for the rest is far too terrifyingly psychologically damaging to be described in words..."'''

Or as I read it "I couldn't think of anything actually terrifying, and I'm not going to even try, either."

'''The fate of the lives of Bikini Bottom is in your hands. The evil menace "Spongebob Squarepants" must be stopped at any cost, even if it has to include "killing Spongebob Squarepants"'''

Rated E for Everyone.

FileA1B7
I do not wish to scare you, I only wish to release the truth.

Don't worry, nobody is going to be afraid of your shitty story.

I was a young kid back in October 2002

So that means this story was written in 2003?

and I was sleeping in my basement.

I knew it! You're the "special" little secret mommy and daddy try to hide in the basement!

I was not allowed to watch shows like "Family Guy"

You said you were still a kid, so your parents weren't wrong for not allowing you to watch it. You aren't missing much anyway, the show didn't get good until much later.

back then, and I was curious to watch at least one episode so I could brag to my friends that I watched it.

Author later became addicted to marijuana because some "cool" kids talked him into trying some.

'''I noticed that at 2:00 AM, an episode of "Spongebob Squarepants" was on. I hovered over the episode in my TV guide, and saw that the episode was called "FileA1B7". So, I set it to come on, and went back to watching Family Guy.'''

Disobeying your parents isn't cool.

'''When it came on, the title card was strange. It was just, "File A1B7" in front of a fuzzy background.'''

You just said you went back to watching Family Guy before telling us the episode title, making it sounds like you are watching an episode of FG.

'''It started out with SpongeBob in his house, petting Gary, except Gary seemed agitated by SpongeBob, and was making a low, surprisingly realistic growl. Then there was a knock at the door, and SpongeBob answered it to see Squidward standing there. This is where things got extremely strange.'''

Yeah, right here! Not when Gary was getting pissed off at SpongeBob. This right here is when things get weird!

'''Squidward told SpongeBob to stop petting his snail. But instead of SpongeBob being his usual, cheery self, he answered with a very soft, "No".'''

Even the newer episodes of SpongeBob aren't this lazy with their writing.

Then, about five frames came up of Squidward laying dead in SpongeBob's closet.

"Scary" frames flashing are common in lost episode pastas, but have you ever noticed that they are much more frequently used in SpongeBobpastas?

'''The screen fuzzed out and then showed SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs called him into his office and asked if he knew why Squidward didn't show up for work. SpongeBob answered him with the same soft voice from before, and said: "I don't know, sir". He then turned around and walked out of the room.'''

So SpongeBob casually left while his boss was trying to talk to him.

Now, a single loop of SpongeBob walking down the street is played for about five minutes.

Does this remind everyone of that scene in that one episode, where Patchy the Pirate discovers a video and it is just a loop of SpongeBob walking?

'''The screen suddenly flashes to five frames of Mr. Krabs laying dead on top of Squidward's body in SpongeBob's closet. The screen suddenly flashes black and white while making an extremely loud static noise.'''

ERMERGHERD

'''At this point, I started freaking out. It started to get hard to breathe. I then passed out.'''

Oh yeah, those images were just soooo scary that you fainted! Wussy!

'''When I woke up, the episode was still on. I do not, nor will I ever want to know what happened in the episode while I was out. However, after I woke up, the same loop of SpongeBob walking was on, and it went on for another five minutes.'''

Maybe that's what you missed?

'''It then flashed to another five frames of Patrick, Pearl, and Sandy, dead, laying on top of Mr. Krabs and Squidward in SpongeBob's closet. The screen fuzzed out again and went to a loop of SpongeBob walking down stairs in his house for about three minutes.'''

This doesn't sound scary, this sounds repetitive and boring! I wouldn't be afraid of it, I would rage quit and either change the channel or throw my remote through the TV.

'''Then, he starts walking in his basement. Behind him were piles of dead fish, blood pouring down their bodies. Then the screen fuzzed and went to an image of SpongeBob's face. His eyes were slowly melting out of their sockets. Then his lips moved and he spoke in the same soft voice, "I... killed... everyone... I'm... all... alone." The screen fuzzed again and then showed the final ten frames. It was an image of SpongeBob's head in a noose, his eyes gone, hanging on a rope in his basement. Then the episode ended.'''

Fucking lame, man!

'''After this, I turned off the TV. I tried to go to sleep but was tormented by the images I just saw. I managed to take a single screenshot of the episode by transferring it to my computer. It is of the title screen.'''

Well, that seems pretty useless. Then again, it was probably the easiest for Shittyauthor to photoshop, so it's no wonder it was the one he "took" a photo of. It raises the question as to why he took the photo, but whatever...

'''Before I could upload the complete video to the internet, it was deleted from my computer and DVR from unknown causes. I am desperately trying to get the video back, and if I do, I will upload it as soon as possible.'''

Nice coincidence.

Goodbye...
So I was watching Spongebob and at the end first 8 people to call will receive a free lost unaired Spongebob episode.

Yeah, instead of something meaningful like a plush or a DVD box set, we're going to give you a blood soaked "lost episode".

I was about 6 and grabbed a phone.

Do you mean you were six years old? If so, that means it must have happened just last year. Seriously, dumbass parents for letting phones within children's reach. I'm sure this characters' parents are the type who give a kid a tablet at birth.

'''I was the 3rd caller. The next morning I got the tape.'''

How in the Hell did it get to you so fast?!

'''The case was blank. The tape had a taped on piece of paper that said "Goodbye...". [...] Spongebob and Patrick were outside Squidward's house. There were weird paper bag puppets that looked like 3 year olds made them.'''

This story looks like a 3 year old wrote it.

'''They laughed. Then it cut to Squidward who was screaming that he was trying to read. I had to cover my ears cuz it was so loud.'''

Don't expect me to take you seriously if you use the word "cuz" in your narration.

'''Then it cut to inside his house. He had no book. He was reading the walls. I thought it said 999 and then a bunch of inane gibberish. I put a mirror in front of the TV and turned my head and then I saw it said "666 HAIL SATAN OUR LORD AND SAVIOR".'''

What the fuck kind of mirror did you use that flipped the image upside down instead of flip it horizontally?

'''I resumed the episode and then it zoomed into Squidward's face. He had a knife. It showed him stabbing Spongebob in the chest and eating his organs. I shrieked. My parents came up to check on me. There it was on the TV. Spongebob, dead, maimed, with his guts and intestines in Squidward's mouth. They took the tape but I took it back and resumed it.'''

They were well within their rights to take that tape. Ok, so it scares the fuck out of you, but you decide you want to watch the rest of it? I hope you got caught and your parents beat the shit out of you!

They watched the rest with me.

WTF?!

MOM: Dad, Dad! Little Melvinsonofabitch found where I hid the tape!

DAD: Aww shoot, I guess all we can do is sit down and watch it with him!

'''Then Squidward killed Patrick. It was implied but not shown. The episode ended with a still image of Patrick's eyeballs and lungs (gills) in Squidward's mouth.'''

That doesn't sound implied. It sounds like they are outright sowing us.

'''My mom called Nickelodeon to complain. They said it was an "accident" and that the real tape was outtakes, bloopers and deleted scenes (outtakes and deleted scene might be the same, I dunno)'''

You don't know, yet you wrote it anyway. Also, how in the HELL does such a mix-up happen? How fucking incompetent do you think Nickelodeon is? Viacom might be a bunch of assholes when it comes to copyright, but I don't think ALL of their staff is incompetent.

'''The next day they sent the real one. It made me laugh a lot. I forgot about the episode for a good 4 years.'''

I bet it was the psychiatric medications that made you forget.

'''Oh, and in case you are wondering about what happened to the goodbye tape, we burned it. Yep. Burned it in a fire. What I did not tell you is that the end said "whoever watched this will die in 2 days". It has been 4 years and I am still around.'''

If you think you're going to die just by watching a tape, then you're in dire need of a mental institution.

Hailsponge.MP4
'''It was a cold winter day. I was working at nickelodeon.'''

You can't even correctly capitalize the company you're supposed to be working for. Also, of course you worked for Nickelodeon, everyone does! And EVERYONE finds lost episodes!

'''When it was lunch time, I noticed a tape on the floor. The tape said "Spongebob Squarepants Unreleased Episode."'''

Yep, because Nick studios is littered with tapes of lost episodes. Why they even bothered to transfer it to a VHS is beyond any reason I can come up with.

'''I asked Tommy about the tape. He said "Oh yeah it's just an episode that never aired." I asked "Can we show this to everyone?" "No." Tommy answered. "Watch it when you get home."'''

Let's have a casual conversation about this oddity!

'''I got home, I popped in the Tape, sat on my couch and watched it. It started with the intro but the pirate at the beginning was missing and the children said nothing.'''

"That's odd" I thought.

You're a dumbass.

'''Then the episode began. The title was Hailsponge.mp4.'''

Clearly Shittyauthors don't understand the meaning or point of file extensions.

'''The music in the title card was a high pitched beep and the pitch kept getting higher and higher. I covered my ears. When it stopped I uncovered my ears.'''

I bet you looked like an ass, too.

The bubble transition weren't the normal bubbles you see, they were black bubbles.

Maybe they weren't bubbles.

Then the actual episode started.

I thought it already did? Lying asshole!

'''It started with Spongebob going jellyfishing with patrick. They were joyful and happy. Spongebob got a big one and Patrick got a bigger one. They then laughed. It was a normal episode.'''

"It was a normal episode", you say before watching the whole thing.

'''After 20 seconds of them jellyfishing. It turned to a black screen for 10 seconds. 5 seconds of that black screen were the sounds of a loud and slow moaning. Then static appeared. After 3 seconds of static, it was the same scene but they were catching red floating candles with pentagrams on the sides.'''

Oooooh, sooooo scary!

'''There was no audio. Then after 7 seconds the screen went to black again but with screams. Then 30 seconds later, it cut to five Spongebob's in each corner of a pentagram with the same candles in the middle. Then the sound from a story called "The Old Tape" (about violin music that turns into weird sounds) starts playing. This was 20 seconds before the credit's rolled.'''

You had to rip off another story. How creative.

'''The next day, I called Tommy about the episode. He said "Throw the tape away." I did what he asked me to. Me and Tommy were not coming back for 1 week and moved to Miami, Florida.'''

Isn't Nickelodeon in Orlando? And what was the point of moving? You didn't show us that you were afraid, so we were left to assume that you didn't react.

'''After 1 week, we came back and all our stuff was in the front door. We then tried opening the door but to find out it was locked. We took our stuff and quit our jobs. Never watch this episode. If you find this episode anywhere, don't watch it. It's for your own good.'''

A shitty end to a shitty story.

How Spongebob Started
People can tell you anything they want, but this is how Spongebob actually started.

Yeah! Author is so badass that only THEY know the truth about how SpongeBob started!

The man that would eventually come up with the idea for Spongebob had a history for DUI.

That man, being Stephen Hillenburg, was actually a marine biologist who came up with the idea for a comic called "Sponge Boy". Now that he is dead, this seems very disrespectful.

'''He had been in court many times before, with his mother always having to bail him outt, but this time court would not be needed. After a night of drinking at a bar, he decided to drive off and go home. He went alone and had no designated driver. He stumbled and tripped as he walked to his car.'''

THEN HE GETS HIT BY A CAR! LOL!

'''He drove about two miles before getting into a serious car accident. His car spun off road, and hit a nearby tree. He was immediately rushed to the hospital by helicopter. He miraculously survived the crash with a price. In the crash, he had sustained a very bad head injury. His brain would not work properly for the rest of his life.'''

Your brain doesn't work properly either, author, but here you are writing a shitty story!

The doctors decided it would be best if he was put in a coma.

Here it comes, the "coma dream" theory!

'''In the coma, the man began to have extremely messed, and disturbed dreams. In his dreams he was a talking underwater sponge (Oddly named "Spongebob Squarepants")'''

WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT HE WOULD NAME HIS CREATION THE SAME THING!!!!

who had no control over himself, or his actions.

He probably did, he just thought it was funnier if he acted like an asshole and claimed it was his "mental problems".

He had weird friendships with a continuously senseless star fish, and an angered, paranoid squid.

I wonder who these are...

As his dreams progressed his thoughts began to become so peculiar that even after he woke up from his coma he could still not understand them.

They're just dreams, they're not supposed to have a meaning.

He would dream about doing odd things like blowing bubbles, or using a butterfly net to catch jelly fish.

Wow! Those are soooo nonsensicle!

'''A dare deviled squirrel named Sandy was also created in his dreams. She would roam around ranting about Texas, and try to get Spongebob to do certain dangerous things. Spongebob thought of other sea creatures too; A cheap crab whose sole desire was money, a plankton whose sole purpose was to get a secret formula, a buff lobster who surfboarded, and an abundance of other creatures that would later be known in the show “fillers”.'''

Yep, they're just fillers. Dead weights on SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward who can TOTALLY carry the show without them!

After Spongebob woke up from his coma, he did not come out the same.

So SpongeBob was the person in the coma? What the fuck kind of sense does that make?

'''He told his mom, and any other of his friends that he came across in the hospital. One of his friends, was any agent who coincidentally worked for Nickelodeon.'''

Just like in the Rugrats theory!

'''After telling this idea to his supervisor, and after adding several new aspects to the idea, a new animated series would be coming out. All names and characters were products of his imangination.'''

They were? Wow! I had no idea! It's not like it says that everywhere else in the story!

Clothes were added later as he originally dreamed all characters naked.

That's because they're just sea creatures and a squirrel. They don't actually need clothes.

Even though most of the success for Nickelodeon in the new millenium was from Spongebob,

Ironically, Nickelodeon would go down hill a few years after the new millennium started.

'''the man could never really appreciate any of that success. His dreams still haunted him to the point of him commiting sucide.'''

It's more likely the brain injury made him kill himself, but sure!

But without his sacrifice, the world would have missed out on one of the most successful animated TV shows of all time.

Even if he didn't kill himself it would still be successful, but whatever. Not like he died for their sins or anything.

King Neptune's Final
Hello I will be telling you about a Lost Episode Of SpongeBob that Disturbed me and Traumitazed Me Enjoy.

If your story telling is as bad as your capitalizations, then we are fucked!

It Looked like a Normal Spongebob Episode and the theme Song Played but somethig was wrong.The Backround Was Darker then Normal.And when I heard the Pirate say.Are you ready kids?I heard a small voice that sounded like Spongebob and it said I am are you?That freaked me out but I continued on.

REAL SCARY!

The title also disturbed me it Said King Neptune's Final.

OH MY GOD! THAT IS SOOOO SCARY! THAT IS LIKE THE MOST SCARIEST TITLE EVER!

In a scribbled way like a 5 year old wrote it.

Just like this story!

The Episode didnt start good either.It was night an there was nothing in the sky no flowers or stars or anything.

WOW SCURY!

Plankton was stealing the Crown of Neptune.Spongebob was strangely at the Chum Bucket and his eyes looked crazed.

I'm not sure rather or not to be outraged over the fact that they didn't bother to explain how they looked "crazed", or if I should be grateful that he didn't so this story could move along faster.

He Said Thank you you have done your good deed today now its my turn.Spongebob then said Ill free you from the toture of the world!He grabbed a knife beside him and chopped plankton to bits.

Well that escalated. That's what happens you just write down whatever comes to your mind without any pacing.

I was scared so bad so I tried to turn off the tv but I couldnt find the remote.Then I remembered my little sister had it in her room.

WTF is it doing in her room?! Using it as a dildo probably, if she is anything like the author's mom!

I had to finish the episode.It was the next day and Spongebob was walking to Sandy's with a hatchet in his hand

And by now it is clear what kind of "lost episode" this is going to be; it's going to be a main-character-murder-rampage.

He burst through the glass as if a maniac and found sandy in her suit

Why was she wearing it if she was inside her air dome?

he decided to break the glass of her helmet leaveing little pieces in her face and her unable to breathe.

She just stood there while SpongeBob broke glass in her face. Idiot squirrel.

This is a good example of what I was bitching about a bit earlier. The author mentioned he had a hatchet but he didn't actually use it on her. This is why you shouldn't dead-end ideas.

Spongebod had a Evil Smile and his teeth were broken off.

Maybe there is a missing scene where Sandy karate chops that bitch in the mouth for (presumably) killing her.

He headed down to Squidwards and Patrick's House.He Strangely had 2 grenades and threw one in each house.

Author forgets Patrick lives under a rock, and not in a house. Then again I'm sure he lives on the streets and thinks the alleyway his family occupies is a house.

The Episode was near its end.He went down to the Krusty Krab.At this point I had enough I went to go get the remote but my little sister locked the door and my parents were onÂ a date.

I hope your dad uses a rubber at the end of the date so we don't get any more "genius" authors and girls who use remotes as dildos.

So I decided to finish it

Apparently you weren't too bothered by it if you didn't get off your ass and manually turn the TV off. Who knows, maybe my joke about him living on the streets is true and he is watching this through the window of someone who actually has a home.

SpongeBod Had A huge Machete.

And let me guess, he isn't going to actually use it.

He snuck into Mr.Krabs Office but Mr.Krabs didnt see him.Spongebob let out a blood curling scream I had to block my ears.Mr.Krabs Surprsed had no time to react.Spongebob stabbed multiple times to break his shell when he did Mr. Krabs splattered.

Wow, some consistancy.

Spongebob grabbed his machete and said 2 simple words:">Youre >NEXT"

OH NO! HE'S AFTER ME! I'M GONNA DIE!

Krabby Patty: The Secret Formula
The popular, long-term

"Long-term" makes it sound like a contract or how long a medication lasts.

running children's cartoon SpongeBob SquarePants is obviously famous for its bubbly main character, SpongeBob, who is an employee at the Krusty Krab: home of the famous Krabby Patty.

No shit, dummy!

In various episodes, the Krabby Patty's Secret Formula is talked about, even some minor ingredients have been mentioned discretely, but I'm sure everyone has the desire to find out the full recipe.

I never thought that much into it, but ok.

As a younger child

I guarantee you still are...

I was brought up with the cartoon and always aspired to find out the formula.

I'm sure you checked every library, e-mailed who you thought were the show's producers, and even read a few theories that you took to be true.

It was fun guessing all the possible ingredients, but I never really found anything.

How can you guess the ingredients of a food you've never even eaten?

Until recently...

You realized that you could be learning something important instead of a non-existant recipe from a fucking cartoon?

I don't usually pay attention to any of the episodes,

Yeah, you're too busy ignoring everything going on hoping you can find some kind of "hidden" hint.

it's really my sister who's a big fan of the show.

She's not the one obsessing over the secret recipe.

But recently I've been careful to try and focus on the details to solve the Secret Formula mystery.

You must be the bordest kid in the universe!

SpongeBob's manager, Mr Krabs is (obviously) a crab

I like how these authors act like they're the only people in the whole world who has ever seen SpongeBob, and that they have to describe to us what the characters look like. Imagine if Squidward's Suicide did that!

'''and is very secertive about the formula. After re watching a few episodes, I found it perculiar that Mr Krabs, his mother and his grandfather are the only crabs ever seen'''

And right here you just spoiled your theory. It is going to involve them eating all the other crabs. So, we don't see sponges outside of SpongeBob's family, or starfish outside of Patrick's! Imagine thinking so hard about a random fact of a TV show that you somehow manage to link it with a theory.

'''(except for his 3 nephews who make a minor appearance). And Larry is the only lobster.'''

Yeah, and there isn't even that much fish outside of the reoccurring background characters.

Now, I'm pretty sure that crabs and lobsters spend a lot of time on the sea bed, in this case 'Bikini Bottom'.

Not going to mention Bikini Atoll or the fact that this was an obvious sex joke.

'''Krabs is very protective over the secret formula, and insists that it's either an 'Old Krabs Family Recipe' or a mistake after an arguement with childhood (used to be) good friend Plankton. Of course I understand why you'd want it to be unknown, as the Krabby Patty is a desired delicous creation. But has anyone really thought about why it's called a Krabby Patty?'''

BECAUSE IT A BURGER FROM THE KRUSTY KRAB! IF IT WERE MADE OF CRABS IT WOULD BE SPELLED WITH A "C"! That would be like going to Wendy's and shitting your pants, thinking that a Dave's double is made of Dave's dead body!

'''I have thought about this, and in my opinion, I think that the Krabby Patty secret ingredient is crab meat. I know it sounds crazy, why would you cook and sell your own kind? But as seen, Mr Krabs is a cheapskate and only (usually) cares about money, maybe he just wants to make money. As he is very protective about the formula, I reckon that he wouldn't like it if his customers knew they were eating his kind.'''

Yeah, never mind the legal repercussions.

'''It makes sense if you think about it, and Plankton is no better. In the episode where he creates an arena to attract new customers he reveals the revolting ingredients that go into his chum on a stick. Not to mention he is the owner of the Chum Bucket, chum as in bits and pieces and wasted fish mixted together to attract fish to catch.'''

That's even more random! This story has no purpose to it, it's just an implausible theory!

Midnight (SpongeBob)
Diary entry: April 20, 2012, 11:00 PM

I am in the woods, away from society, of course away from that GOD DAMN CD.

This would make the perfect intro to a sequel to Sonic.exe from Kyle's perspective. Well, I mean, it would be if the story wasn't shit.

I no longer have my sanity.

I can tell by this story's lack of coherence.

'''I can not trust anything. Life is no longer worth living for me. The psychological and emotional trauma that has destroyed my life in the past month will end in exactly one hour.'''

God help this kid if he ever falls under any actual distress. Seriously, you're killing yourself over a shitty SpongeBob episode.

'''I am so glad that I finally found a way to end this, but first, I'll have to face it, one...last...time...just for all the people who will read this. NOT FOR SATAN AND HIS MINIONS!'''

Satan: Oh, pooh! He said I can't read it! (closes Internet Explorer, the most appropriate search engine for Hell, then pouts)

I was once an avid Spongebob fan

I learned the word "avid" from Suicidemous.avi!

'''when it was really popular during its early years. Sadly, as you all know, it all went down into the toilet after the movie and I lost interest.'''

Actually, despite the sharp decline in quality, it still has a huge fanbase. As for the show's quality, while I agree it has gone down through the more recent years, I think that the post-movie episodes are generally good.

A month ago, one of my best friends got a job at Nickelodeon studios as an intern.

I'm surprised you weren't the intern like all the other shitty Squidward's Suicide wannabes. It's like slightly tweaking a trope, hoping it will bring it new life.

One of his friends there was in the same room that the episode Squidward's Suicide was seen in by a group of young interns back in late 2004.

I think deep down the author knew this would suck, so they made this a sequel to a story that was actually good and hoped that it would save it. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

He retrieved the original tape

Yep, it's 2004 and we're still using magnetic video tape to archive our videos. Better hope the VCR doesn't eat it!

'''and also a season 3 episode called Midnight that was not aired for unknown reasons. The episode Midnight had never been seen or heard of before by anyone else but me, he and my friend, and a few Spongebob cast members. My friend's friend was at a swap meet that I went to and I ended up getting the episode there for free.'''

The author wasn't sure rather or not if he wanted it to be a "The scary episode was made inside the studio" or a "I found this at a garage sale" type story, so he went with both, apparently.

I ran the CD on my computer

I thought it was a tape!

'''and the intro played with no problems. The title card of course said "Midnight" in light blue letters with a dark foggy background. The music was....weird to say the least. It sounded just like a light breeze going throught a forest'''

Dude, it's bad enough you think this crap deserves to be a sequel to Squidward's Suicide, do you really have to rip it off, too?

(that's funny, its doing the same exact thing right now).

You're right. That is funny.

The episode started with Spongebob and Gary having a pillow fight with Patrick at a sleepover.

Sounds erotic.

'''Simple enough. One strange thing though was that this episode was in unusually high quality (like HD) including all the voices.'''

Maybe because it is directly from the studio before any compression could be done.

I don't recall Nickelodeon at the time having animation quality THAT good.

Neither was their shows from around that time, so shaddup!

'''Anyways, The scene lasted for about 30 seconds before the bubble screen came up. Patrick began to tell Spongebob about a new game that he got at Pranks A Lot called an Ouija Board.'''

I feel like a Ouija Board is something an actual SpongeBob episode would use for a joke.

'''I got a little freaked out. Why would such an innocent show bring in something that so sinister?'''

Yeah, I mean it is a show that jokes about murder (the "Krusty Hotel" scene where SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs are beating a bag of laundry, that first time viewers believe contain Squidward's mom), hexes (that joke where Squidward stabbed the SpongeBob and Patrick voo-doo dolls), Hell (or "Davey Jones' locker"), would never go so far as using a Ouija Board!

After time card that said "1 Hour Later",

Writer: Well, Patrick pulls out this haunted black magic board that we can write a few jokes about. LET'S SKIP IT!

the episode really began to unnerve me.

No, I'm not saying "USA!", I'm saying "You-Wuss-eh!"

The APM soundtrack Stealth By Night was playing (look it up on Youtube if you don't know what it is, I dare you),

THIS IS THE SOUNDTRACK TO MY STORY, GUIZE! Clearly author does not know how copyright works. I wouldn't be surprised it Mickey Mouse or Darth Vader showed up somewhere in this story.

'''and Spongebob was sitting on his bed in the dark, looking very frightened. He walks up to his bedroom window and looks out into a realistic night sky (there were actual stars).'''

HYPER REALISTIC!!!!

'''The camera panned down from the sky towards Patrick's rock. This was unusually creepy for a Spongebob episode.'''

Yeah because SpongeBob never used anything realistic (Patrick's "glasses" for example)

The screen cut to black and there was VERY loud realistic scream that shook my entire house (I mean like an Earthquake type of shake).

And somehow author wasn't deaf, nor was anything destroyed. Then again, I'm sure he is poor and doesn't own anything besides a TV he got cheap because it was cracked, and a DVD player from south-east Asia. Both of which sit on his floor because he cannot afford a TV stand.

'''I paused the episode, shaking heavily. I was really debating whether I should continue watching, but my morbid curiosity got the best of me and I pressed play.'''

"Wellp, this thing caused an earthquake that would destroy the possessions I would own if I wasn't poor, and should have destroyed my hearing, but I better keep watching!"

'''It cut back to Patrick who had the most sick, twisted look I have ever seen. His eyes were a dark jet black and he now spoke in a very deep demonic voice. He was throwing Gary against the walls of his house.'''

What was Gary doing in his house? Was he making a booty call to relive the tension from tonight's erotic pillow fight? Heck, maybe roughness was part of their little romp?

'''Gary's cries sounded so real. Gary's shell shattered on the 3rd hit and the insides of Gary looked so fucking realistic.'''

pOiNtLeSs ViOlEnCe Is ScArY! sO iS hYpEr ReAlIsM!

'''I don't wanna even DESCRIBE how disgusting it looked. I threw up blood'''

Sounds like you have some kind health problem. I mean "physical" problem, we already knew you weren't right in the head.

all over the carpet next to my computer desk.

Naw, dude, we all know you're poor. By "carpet" you mean the patch of dirt the Church lets you sleep on, and by "desk" you mean the window seal.

He then lit a match and set Gary on fire

Apparently, Gary is flammable and doesn't need to be doused in gasoline or anything like that to be ignited.

with demonic screams and voices in the background as he laughed histerically and said "Worship satan".

DEMINZ AND DEBBILS R SCURY!

I was in a total loss for words.

That's how I feel about this story, but not for the same reason.

'''Some of you would've stopped reading by now, but your morbid curiousity pushes you further and further, just like it did to me. I know it does.'''

No, the fact that I like tearing into shitty stories and sharing my uncalled-for bitchiness is why I continued reading it. I doubt anyone who seriously read this out of curiosity, but rather just to read it.

It cut to a few seconds of black that sounded like that split second when you're changing radio stations and the sound gets sorta fuzzy.

Some radios actually don't do that, but I'm just splitting hairs at this point.

It cut back to Spongebob with hyper realistic eyes

The only thing more cliche than hyper realism, is hyper realistic eyes (and blood for that matter).

'''walking very slowly in his dark kitchen, some of it illuminated by moonlight. There was no sound here. The sound gradually picked up to a slight breeze through a forest.'''

LIEK SKIDWURD SOOSIDE!

This whole slow walking sequence lasted about 2 minutes.

In the Creepypasta dimension, everyone has internal stop watches so they can know precisely how long something lasts. I supposed they have this gift in lieu of the intelligence normal people have in this dimension.

'''I was just waiting for something to scare the hell out of me. The breeze stopped and the sound got silent again as Spongebob sat down on his living room couch looking more and more frightened by the second'''

Of what? What is he so afraid of?

The camera angle changed and OUT OF NOWHERE Satan Patrick appeared

I'm imagining this as EVIL PATRIXXX.

'''behind Spongebob and screamed "PRAISE SATAN!!!". This was even louder than the first scream. My house shook so hard from this that cracks actually appeared in my walls.'''

You mean a brick came loose from the Church you're allowed to sleep behind? XD

I say my favorite phrase "Seriously though", like I always do after a joke, and point out that this should have seriously harmed the author.

I was on the verge of breaking out crying as Spongebob ran upstairs to his bedroom with Patrick chasing him with a shot gun and screaming.

Where did the gun come from?!

Since it would be hard to describe this episode anymore, I'll do a transcript for the rest of it:

Don't worry author, we understand that you have no writing skills so you have to resort to using script form.

Spongebob (in his room walking backwards toward the wall, cringing with fear): PLEASE PATRICK, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!

Patrick (demonically): You can run, but you CAN'T FUCKING HIDE!

If I heard Patrick say "fuck" I would laugh my ass off.

Spongebob: STOP PATRICK STOP!!!

(Patrick puts the shot gun on Spongebob's forehead)

Since the author doesn't care to describe what happened, we can only assume EVIL PATRIXXX caught up to him.

'''Patrick: If you wanna live, YOU MUST WORSHIP SATAN WITH ME! Or else, you will be brutally murdered and burn in hell for all eternity!'''

Insane Troll Logic: Go to Hell for NOT worshiping Satan.

Your dumbass snail Gary already learned the hard way.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I'm laughing just imagining Patrick saying this!

(Spongebob manages to trip Patrick and runs for it.

We're supposed to do the author's job for him and imagine how he managed to do this.

'''Patrick soon gets up and begins chasing and shooting in his direction. He throws a bomb into the kitchen that puts a large hole in the wall and causes a raging inferno to erupt. Spongebob tries to flee the house but finds that the door is locked.'''

Being on the inside, he should be able to just turn the internal key. Maybe he was so afraid logic escaped him?

He cringes up against a wall

That's what I felt like doing after reading this story.

with Patrick towering over him and the inferno creeping closer and closer towards them)

'''Spongebob: PLEASE PATRICK! I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!'''

'''Patrick: ITS MIDNIGHT! Too late!'''

I'm surprised he didn't ask for a sexual favor in exchange for SpongeBob's life because DATS SCURY!

(Patrick rips Spongebob's eyes right out of their sockets, squeezes the eyes which cause them to squirt blood all over, and throws Spongebob into the raging inferno. Patrick stares at the viewer screaming "PRAISE SATAN!" 3 times infront of the inferno before fading to black, ending the episode.)

Ok...

That part of the episode was so intense for me that I ended up having a stroke and went into the emergency room.

No, maybe your story is so bad that your brain shut itself off to protect you and everyone else from anymore garbage.

'''The doctors could not find an explanation for the stroke. I had horrific psychological and emotional trauma from all of this. I became an entirely different person. I cannot even begin to describe the feelings I had about this episode. It wasn't even an episode. It was a living hell.'''

Nope, just an episode.

'''And by the way, you know how in the beginning I said I was gonna end my trauma. Well, here I go......'''

RIP Ryan Dalson

I have a feeling the author used his real name. Also "im dead but tihs fing aboot mi deff appurs on ur screeeeen!" cliche

1997-2012

"1997-2002" There, author, I fixed it for you. You're welcome.

Time of Death: Midnight

So instead of your epitaph saying something meaningful, your parents (who I doubt gave a shit enough about you anyway) decided that your time of death should be marked on your tombstone. I doubt you had any real personality, so there was nothing to say about you anyway. They probably just had to think of something on the spot.

Tombstone Engraver: What was his name and how long did he live?

Mom (who, like Dad, is not grieving): His name was Ryan Dalson. He was born in 1997 and died this year. I don't remember giving birth to him, and I don't remember the exact day he died because why would I, his mother, know any of that?

Engraver (confused):... Ok... Well... What do you want me to put at the bottom of the tombstone?

Mom: Well... how about... maybe... umm... Dear, what was so special about Ryan?

Dad (after a moment of thinking): Hmmm... ummmm.... Oh! He died at midnight!

Engraver: Anything else?

Dad (smiling): Nope!

(Mom hangs her head in disappointment over how unimportant and bland her son was)

My First Krabby Patty
Today, I had my first Krabby Patty,

You mean those gummy candies based on the SpongeBob burgers? I love those!

and let me just say for the record, it was the best thing I have ever tasted.

Wait until you try cock!

'''That fry cook sure does know how to make a good burger! What makes these patties so good, I'm not sure. Needless to say, I could sure go for another one! No, should I really? I mean look at the prices at this fast food eatery. They are all ridiculously high! You could buy a VCR cheaper than these patties here in this town,'''

In the 1970s and 1980s a VCR could cost up to $3,000.

'''I mean come on! I mean, I love living here in Bikini Bottom,'''

WE GET IT, YOU'RE A SPONGEBOB CHARACTER!

'''but sometimes the citizens here can really irritate me. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I really think this city could use some changes.'''

Maybe they can enforce a law that says you aren't allowed to write shitty stories about them.

'''Of course, it will just never change! No matter how much I try to get the residents here in Bikini Bottom to change their lifestyle, they just seem to reset it back to their average one at the end of every day! I can never win!'''

You can never win Pasta of the Month with this poor writing.

Seems kind of funny, does it?...Not really.

This note was written by Leonarde Dfiky, who accidentally killed his wife by crashing through the wall of his house while drunk driving.

He wasn't drunk, people only thought he was because of how intoxicated he acted. In actuality, he was an idiot. I'm not sure what would piss me off more if I was that poor woman's parents; the fact that drunk driving killed my daughter, or the fact that she spent her final moments having to listen to this shit.

His wife had a concussion and was sent to the hospital.

She was dumb enough to let him drive buzzed. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

'''After a few days, she stopped breathing, and her life ended. Leonarde grew into a deep depression after that incident. Then one day, he found the children show SpongeBob SquarePants. After watching an episode, he drugged himself, and then started living his life as if he was in the show.'''

This is easy: the characters have gills and he has lungs, tell him to go to the bottom of the ocean and watch him drown.

'''He became insane, and believed he was actually living in the series. He was happy though, living a brand new life free of depression. Leonarde is dead now. He died a little after writing this note...a little after eating his first Krabby Patty.'''

Most of the time when someone knows their story isn't scary, they try to add a SHOK ENDING, which most of the time fails and makes a story even more unlikeable.

Original Pilot of Spongebob Squarepants
I was going to review "Nightmare Broken" but the English translation is too bad for me to decipher what is going on, so I'm going to skip it.

I was 13 at the time an the year was 1998 Nickelodeon announced that there were makeing a new series.

More like you'll be 13 in the year 2028!

1 year later I was 14

Yes. Those of us with normal math skills could easily figure that out.

'''I decided to make my own judgments so I started watching adult channels. I watched family guy, the Simpsons etc.'''

I'M A BIG BOY BECAUSE I'M WATCHING ADULT SHOWS! Goddamn edgelord teenagers!

That same year I experienced something that I never knew about.

You had your first crush?

I'll tell you my story.

Please don't!

On April 16, 1999 at 8:00 pm I watched that adult channel its called Fox Family Guy

Fox Family Guy is a station?

'''came on I decided to watch it. I looked at the guide menu to see that new show spongebob squarepants was gonna be on.'''

This sounds a lot like FileA1B7

'''It supposed to air on May 3 I thought must be an early airing. It was 8:30 pm now it had a TV-MA-V'''

Usually it is just TV MA without any given reason, but whatever!

It was called Spongebobs Job but the title card had a way different design.

Which you didn't even care to describe.

'''It started out with spongebob saying: Todays the day! In a happy voice he walks out of his pineapple house and says to squidward. Today's the day!! What day? Squidward. Spongebob said nothing after that'''

Jesus dude, learn how to use quotation marks and punctuation!

it cut to the krusty krab Squidward said: what the hell do you want sir.

LOL! If SpongeBob did have swearing in it, I have a feeling Squidward would actually say that.

I was shocked of what Squidward said that then the guy said: The Bloody Patty.

If the "guy" was Brittish it wouldn't be scary, it would be a curse word.

'''Things went silent Mr.krabs came in and said come here to the guy he said OK. Then it cut to the kitchen spongebob was cooking patty's'''

Apparently the author has never seen the pilot episode, which was about SpongeBob getting his job at the Krusty Krab.

'''then Mr.krabs put the guy in the kitchen spongebob looked at him in a creepy way. He said want a bloody Patty? He got out a chainsaw by this point I was creeped out spongebob laughed and then it went black for a second this part scared the crap out of me.'''

Did it destroy your ability to write?

'''Spongebob jumped on the guy and you could hear chainsaw noises you could see blood splatter everywhere then he put the guys organs on the Patty and said order up. It showed spongebob staring at the screen the he said Your next the episode ended.'''

YOU'RE NEXT!

The next day I called Nickelodeon they said this episode was never never never never never ever was supposed to be aired they felt bad so they sent me the full season 1 DVD of spongebob squarepants.

"Oh, we're so sorry sir! This episode we made for God knows what reason somehow got aired because we didn't do our usual checks. Here, let me send you a DVD set that won't be released for another four years (2003), and of a season that hasn't completely aired or finished production yet!"

Patrick's Degradation
'''Author's note: this Creepypasta may be a little similar to Patrick's Suicide. I don't want it to be similar to that Creepypasta, though, and so, I'm going to try to go for a different storyline.'''

And by "different storyline" he either means it is going to be the same with a few tweaks, or it's going to be a rip off of Squidward's Suicide.

'''Spongebob Squarepants is such a happy and cheery show. It has characters such as Spongebob, Squidward, Sandy, Mr. Krabs and many more. But it isn't as cheery as you might think.'''

You're right, it's about a mentally disabled Sponge who works minimum wage for a greedy boss, is friends with someone even more stupid than he is, is hated by his neighbor, and is friend zoned by his squirrel crush which might be confusing because he can self-reproduce.

'''I was flipping through channels one day because I was trying to find something to watch while I ate lunch. I suddenly found that Nick was airing a new Spongebob episode.'''

At this point, it feels like the "Nick was airing this strange episode" frame is used more than "I was an intern" or "I found this at a Goodwill!"

'''I went to that channel. There were a few commercials before the program. One caught my eye. An announcer for the commercial said as follows:'''

"A new, special Spongebob episode comes on in just a moment! But don't switch to another channel, because the episode is so special, this is the only time you get to watch it, only on Nick!"

The censor board and the FCC are asleep, so we're going to try to air it under their noses!

'''I was confused. It was so special, it would never air again?'''

For convenience of this story.

'''I continued waiting. A few minutes later, the familiar Spongebob intro began to play. It looked slightly off-centered and tilted, but I didn't care enough to question it.'''

Or maybe the TV is crooked, or you're sitting in an odd angle?

'''After the intro, the screen turned back to normal. The title card was blue and it read "Patrick's Degradation". There was no sound for the title card, though. I was uneasy.'''

"I never once considered that the audio gave out because of my shitty cable subscription"

'''The opening credits played. Bubbles covered the screen, only to soon disappear and transition to the next scene. Molaka'i Nui A, one of the most happy music tracks in the series, began playing. While the sun was coming up, Spongebob was seen happily skipping to the Krusty Krab to do his job as a fry cook. Patrick's rock was seen, slightly open.'''

Either SpongeBob didn't get far, or the author forgot that Patrick lives close to SpongeBob.

'''Patrick peeked out at Spongebob. The happy music that was once playing immediately stopped and was replaced with sad music.'''

'''"How does he keep this happiness up so well?" Patrick moaned. I was a little frightened at this sentence.'''

Of course you were. In Shittycreepypastaland things that are only slightly off are enough to scare the Christ out of everyone!

'''"It's like he uses something to do it! And he thinks I'm soooo happy all the time! But he doesn't know how I am," Patrick continued. "I can't live with it. If I can't live with it, I'll at least stop it!"'''

'''At this point I was starting to get really scared. I knew why the episode was only airing once.'''

Oh yeah, this is just so deep, and psychological. You're going to need therapy and drugs to cope!

'''"I must think of a plan. A plan to stop Spongebob's joy once and for all!" A bubble transition appeared briefly. In the next scene, Patrick was walking to Spongebob's house with a very serious expression.'''

Whatever the fuck that would look like.

'''Patrick swung open the door. Spongebob was nowhere to be found, so he was probably still at work. Patrick grabbed the TV and smashed it into the wall. He then ripped at the couch with a crowbar he had brought along with him. He also had hammers, axes and other various tools in a box that he brought with him also.'''

WHY NOT JUST BURN THE PINEAPPLE DOWN?!

'''He was destroying everything. When no furniture remained, Patrick grabbed a sledgehammer and began making huge holes in the walls. The pineapple was crumbling above Patrick, who was laughing psychotically. A faint crying could be heard. Then a voice whispered "Save yourself if you still have the energy", which made me feel horrified. I couldn't believe that Patrick, the pure meaning of fun and joy, would do such a destructive act.'''

A lot of times in the show Patrick's stupidity causes him to be a threat to himself and others. Sometimes when he gets angry, he becomes "terrifying".

'''The scene panned to Spongebob, who was getting his things together before he left for home. He sighed a happy sigh and skipped away. He slowed down his skipping until he stopped. His face was in utter shock and horror. He trembled as he ran to his dilapidated pineapple home. He slipped through the open door and stopped to see Patrick, his best friend, turning the house to rubble. A single tear ran down Spongebob's face. Spongebob took a step backwards.'''

'''"Patrick!" he yelled. He paused for a moment. The screen began to get redder. "Why?!"'''

'''"I'm sorry, Spongebob, but I can't live with your mocking joy! It's all too much!" Patrick growled at a shocked Spongebob.'''

"Mocking joy". Ok...

Spongebob tried to attack Patrick,

How is never explained.

'''but Patrick swung an axe and the scene immediately changed to Spongebob limping out of his house with half of a leg and part of his face missing from his body, wheezing pained screams and making ear-piercing choking noises. I couldn't believe I had just watched this grueling horror happening in front of me.'''

You see there's this episode where SpongeBob gets a splinter...

I wanted to change the channel but I had to see what would happen next.

Fool!

'''Spongebob suddenly slammed his face on the ground, looking pale. Patrick walked behind him.'''

'''"He's dead. Finally!" Patrick cheered. He ran to Squidward's house. He knocked on the door. As voices could be heard mumbling and crying, Squidward opened the door. Patrick pulled out a pocket knife and jabbed Squidward through the side of his head. Squidward, with a surprised expression, slumped over and fell to the ground, blood dripping from the door. Static started to overlap Squidward's corpse.'''

STATIC IS SCURY!

'''Then, Patrick left the scene. About fifteen seconds passed. The camera panned to Mr. Krabs' home, a giant anchor.'''

Yes, we are familiar with it.

'''Patrick stood at the door, looking down at something. The camera quickly zoomed into the object Patrick was looking at. It turned out to be Mr. Krabs' dead body.'''

Did he die before Patrick got there?

'''Patrick began going into disgusting detail of how the corpse looked. "His arm is all the way over where his eyes are, and his eyes are in my tummy! He's got a cracked shell because I hit it with the sledgehammer and..."'''

Who was he saying this to? Is he insane and talking to the voices in his head?

I didn't hear anything else because I had ran into the bathroom to vomit, as that description was sickening and repulsive to hear.

Thank God this guy never had to stuff a turkey.

'''I wished that I had never watched this episode, and it was just a bad dream. I went back into the room, and thank God, the scene had ended. But the next one wasn't any better. Instead of the music that was playing, there were sounds of people screaming at each other... they were saying that they were going to kill each other... and then you could hear punching and stabbing...'''

What does stabbing sound like? Are you talking about a cartoonish sound effect?

'''With those horrible sounds happening in the background, there was Patrick, walking to Sandy's place. It was presumably sunset, as the sky was pink and the half-visible sun was bright red. Sandy was working on an experiment in the tree in her treedome.'''

What kind of experiment is beyond anyone's guess.

'''Patrick opened both doors that led into the dome. He was holding a large rock. "Sandy! I want to show you something scientific!" Patrick said.'''

LOL! I seriously laughed so hard I couldn't breath over this! HA HA HA HA HA! XD XD XD XD

I was a little confused, but I guessed that Patrick might have become more light-hearted because Sandy was friendly.

So was SpongeBob but he decided to slaughter him for some reason.

'''Sandy jumped from the tree with a "Yee-haw!" and fell to the ground with a somersault.'''

'''"Howdy, Patrick," she said in a strong Texan accent. "What's up?"'''

'''"So, do you see this rock?" Patrick asked.'''

XD XD XD XD

"Yup," Sandy replied.

'''"Watch this," Patrick explained. He then lifted it up, heaving. He tossed it at the glass.'''

Not only did this make me laugh even harder, I literally started clapping over this. This scene has to be my favorite moment in Crappypasta history!

'''"PATRICK, NO!" Sandy gasped. The rock broke through the glass and water poured like a waterfall into the dome. Sandy screamed, her lungs filling to the brim with water.'''

Apparently Sandy can't hold her breath like she did in the episode Pressure, and she apparently didn't have a helmet handy.

'''Patrick smiled as the water gushed into the hole in the glass. Sandy's head was red and her lips were blue.'''

Did she eat hot sauce and put on lipstick?

'''She scurried to find an air spot, but the water got the best of her. Her body floated out into the ocean. Patrick grabbed her and bashed her on the street, leaving her head smashed and her brain exposed. Blood drizzled out from her nauseatingly destroyed skull.'''

Jesus, man, she's already dead!

'''Patrick looked at her. He frowned. "I killed everyone I've ever loved."'''

Why did he love Mr. Krabs?

'''He began to realize that what he did was bad. He pulled out a butcher knife from his back pocket. He put it to his throat. He hesitated long enough to say through his teeth, "I'm so sorry." Tears rolled down his face and he finally slit his neck. He bled all over the street as Gary the Snail was watching. Gary looked at the camera with a traumatized expression on his face. He meowed a frightened meow.'''

Is it just me, or is Gary used in these stories a lot?

'''The camera faded to black. The TV shut off on its own. I was happy that it was over, but horrified that I had watched it. Every night, I think of how Patrick slaughtered everyone who made him who he was.'''

So it was them that made him mentally challenged?

'''I think of how he was so innocent. But... I don't know what to believe in that show. I've completely stopped watching TV. I think it's for the best...'''

You're complaining about the violence in this episode, but yet you want to watch Family Guy? Wait until much later when that show becomes a gore fest. Also, if this is enough to make you quit television, God help you if you ever see something actually scary.

Patrick's Leg
I was online a couple years ago at like around 1:00 AM

If this story were written today, it would be 3:00 AM.

looking up old SpongeBob episodes as I was a huge fan as a kid and the new episodes they show on TV are complete shit.

Or you could just buy the DVDs and quit bitching.

So after going through bad quality videos on foreign websites and other sites flooded with ads,

You're lucky you didn't get a virus!

'''I came upon an unofficial website that had full episodes ad free. Ok, the quality wasn't great,but better than most of the websites.'''

"I'm going to risk getting a virus by watching this shitty quality video because I don't want to pay $25 for a DVD!"

'''On the bottom was a link that said "SpongeBob Lost Episode". Being the idiot I am, I clicked on it. I thought it was probably a screamer or something, but I clicked on it anyway. I was bored enough to click on the video and watch it. I totally forgot about looking for old episodes.'''

You don't have to keep telling us you clicked it. You could have just told us once and that would have been enough for us.

The episode video had poor quality and the episode itself was pretty much forgotten by the writers.

"I don't know how writers work". You also apparently don't know how writing works.

'''Like every episode, it started with the theme song. The titlecard read "Patrick's Leg" with the normal fun-filled bubble letters we all know and love. The first thing that didn't seem right was that after the titlecard, the transition, instead of bubbles, it was just a blur into the begining of the episode.'''

"I'm going to discount the fact that the video was low quality and it was probably a glitch caused by the compression"

It started out like a harmless SpongeBob episode, with SpongeBob and Patrick watching the sunset.

Sounds romantic!

'''But then Patrick decides to go sandboarding, so they do. So far a pretty normal episode. Patrick then tries to do some sort of trick on his sandboard but fails.'''

This reminds me of that episode where SpongeBob broke his ass sand-boarding.

'''As a result, Patrick falls and breaks his leg, and SpongeBob goes after him to see if he's okay. During this scene, instead of the usual 'Hawaiian themed' music, more suspenseful, serious music plays. Also, Patrick screams a more painful scream than he usually would. Enough that I could feel it.'''

You're going to feel something real soon!

'''Well I guess that makes sense, he just BROKE his leg. Nothing that is too far out of the ordinary, right? Well other than the opening and the music in that one scene, it's going pretty much like any ordinary episode. The next scene takes place at the hospital, where the doctor tells Patrick he needs to be in a wheelchair for a little while. As they walk out, SpongeBob is pushing Patrick in his wheelchair when they run into some girls. The girls start talking to Patrick because of his leg and ask if they can sign his cast as they walk away with Patrick, leaving SpongeBob by himself. So far it's going like a normal episode. I don't remember what happened throughout the episode so I'll skip some scenes.'''

"I'm not creative enough to fill in the gaps, so I'm just going to blame my memory which was fuzzy, even though I'm supposed to be traumatized by this episode that should be burned into my memory". Shitty excuse!

'''This is where it gets creepy. Later that night, SpongeBob knocks at Patricks door. In this scene, the backgrounds look more realistic than usual.'''

By backgrounds you mean the sand under his rock?

However, I tried to ignore it.

"I also ignored this lump under my skin growing bigger and bigger"

'''When Patrick opens the door Spongebob tells Patrick that he forbids him to see those girls ever again. Patrick gets furious, not like he does normally.'''

Oh yeah, Patrick has never been angry before.

'''This is a more realistic anger, and he tells Spongebob that he hates him. The girls leave in fear.'''

Author is so lazy that he didn't bother to mention they were there until now.

This is when I started to feel funny about this episode.

Took you long enough!

'''SpongeBob then screams, in an unusually deep voice, something like"...oh yeah? Well as long as you hate me, I can do this..." and then starts beating Patrick's broken leg violently with a rock. After that, the screen goes to static for a fraction of a second,'''

We are never told Patrick's reaction to it, so I'm imagining him staring out into space, not even acknowledging this abuse.

and cuts to a scene where Spongebob and Patrick are apoligizing for something during the daytime, except the lining of the animation and the voices don't match up.

That's what happens when you watch low quality rips!

The animation in this scene is very poor, as if it was a loop, and it goes on for a good 4 or 5 minutes.

That would bore the fuck out of me.

'''I was very creeped out, but I wanted to see how it ended. The screen goes black for a minute or two, and then cuts to a scene from another episode, where Patrick has Jefferey Jellyfish in a wagon, and says "C'mon Jefferey.",'''

Fucking random!

'''and the screen goes black again, this time for only about 30 seconds and cuts to a CG animation of Patrick cutting SpongeBob's stomach open with a piece of broken coral with realistic blood gushing out, while looking at the screen with bloodshot dilated eyes. His mouth doesn't move, but you can faintly hear him say "I knew this day would come!!!" with an echo-ey voice. You can also hear SpongeBob laughing for some reason.'''

Trippy as balls, man!

'''The scene goes on for another 3 minutes, but nothing is heard but static which gets louder and louder, until it's unbearably loud. Then the normal credits come on, but with a very faint image of the last scene still showing. My god, that image will be burned in my mind forever. The United Plankton logo isn't shown like usual.'''

OH NO! THE UNITED PLANKTON LOGO IS GONE! THAT IS SO SCARY!

'''After the video was over, it froze, so I had to reload the page, but it wasn't available. I couldn't even find the website anymore.'''

What a coincidence!

'''Even when I looked up "Patrick's Leg", nothing came up. I understand if you don't believe me, but I know what I saw, even if it was at 1:00 in the morning. What the hell was I even doing online at that time?'''

Complaining about new episodes of SpongeBob and finding old ones to pirate. Oh wait, is this supposed to be some sort of wham line?

Patrick's Suicide
if you read this you get nightmares

Nightmares of poorly written stories with spelling errors, cliches, and loose plots.

in 2011 2 weeks before the episode Patrick's Staycation came out i decided to watch spongebob after school.

That seems like a loose connection, but ok.

after i came home from school my parents were both at work

Is it just me or is the "my parents weren't home" coincidence slowly becoming a cliche? What's even the point? Do they think of their parents as some kind of protectors who will save them unless they aren't there? Why not make the main character an adult so we don't have to point out this unnecessary detail?

and wont be home until 5:00 and i am a only child

When you were diagnosed with a mental disability after you were born, your parents were afraid of having another one.

so i got the remote and turned on the TV and spongebobs opening came so after the theme song the title card said "patrick's suicide" i started to feel a little bit uncomfortable because it dosent sound right for a kids show.

I like how easily the main characters in these bad stories get scared.

The episode starts with patrick and spongebob waiting for patricks parents to come and stay for 1 week

Marty and Janet or his real parents?

after they came patricks dad starts yelling saying your the worst son parents can ask for.

Well... I mean... he's not wrong.

'''i started to think why would Mr star just came to yell at him. Patrick's dad said this i never want to see you again.'''

He literally came to his house just to tell him he doesn't want to see him again. I don't know, but visiting someone sounds like the opposite of not wanting to see them. Meanwhile, Mom is in the background staring out into space apparently.

patricks dad then drove off and spongebob tried to make him feel better but nothing helped patrick.

We can only use our imagination as to what he did because the author did not feel like using the small bit of imagination it would take to think something up.

Patrick then says to spongebob I will see you later then he ran to his rock patrick is sad he might need some space spongebob said.

quotation marks don't exist, nor does punctuation i said

there was a card that said "3 weeks later" squidward and spongebob are visiting patrick

Squidward for some reason gives a shit about Patrick all of the sudden.

'''but no one answered they did that for a good 30 seconds then his rock opened and squidward and spongebob found patrick in his chair with a knife in his chest and the tv is on with static. spongebob calls the doctor'''

I think it's a bit too late for that, buddy.

'''and take him to the hospital. after the ambulance took patrick spongebob calls the doctor and the doctor said we are sorry spongebob but your friend is dead. spongbob is yelling and crying very loudly for 7 seconds then the end credits pop up'''

Well, that was anti-climactic.

i was scared out of my mind how ever i noticed at the end it did not say copyright 2011 it said copyright 2002 i guessed it was aired on 2002.

Apparently in the universe this story takes place in, a copyright date has nothing to do with when an episode was made, but rather when it aired.

when my parents came home told them everything but they did not believe me so i turned on the TV hoping the same episode was still on tv but it was just the krusty krab pizza episode.

Then your mom slapped you for lying and made you go to your room!

if you seen this episode then im not the only one who seen it.

If you're breathing then you're alive. If your soup is boiling then it is hot. If the sun is up it is daytime. What was the point of this?

Pearl.avi
So we all know Spongebob, right?

No, we NEVER heard of him before! Please tell us about this obscure cartoon.

The little yellow sponge who's always laughing, smiling, annoying his neighbor, and just all-around being a goofy character with a starfish by the name of Patrick who is his best friend.

Being one of the guhzillions of people who never heard of this show, I am very grateful to you for elaborating.

Well now that we have the introduction all settled I'd like to let you all know that I have, or rather HAD, a very rare copy of a Spongebob episode written by none other than Steven Hillenburg.

Now that he is dead, using him as a character just feels disrespectful. Yes, I am aware that this was written beforehand.

While roaming Nickelodeon studios in June of 2008

Yep. Nickelodeon studios is a zoo that anyone is allowed to walk through to gawk at the production crew and find "lost" episodes that seem to just be lying on the floor all the time.

let me tell you, that the tickets to get in were NOT easy to get…

Well this makes my previous statement look asinine. Also, the author doesn't care about detail so he isn't going to tell us what he had to do for those tickets. Maybe it's for the better.

'''Anyway, I ran into Mr. Hillenburg in one of the main areas of the studio. No literally. I ran into him. See… I kind of snuck into a high security area and well… I ended up alerting guards and… You get the gist.'''

Then he calls security! You get beaten with batons and thrown out the door cartoon styled and land on your rump! Why did you have to sneak in if you had a pass? I'm assuming he was allowed everywhere but this particular area...?

'''After bumping into him, I apologized. Mr. Hillenburg looked as though he was in a daze.'''

That tends to happen when you hit into someone unexpectedly.

I waved my hand in front of him but he continued onward past me.

He was probably ready to kill you and walked away to prevent any violent altercations. Maybe he was walking away to find the nearest security guard.

'''This made me a little uneasy. Once he walked away I spotted something on the ground where I had bumped into Hillenburg.'''

...And proving my point about lost episodes just showing up on the floor.

'''It was a video tape. It didn't have anything of discernible title nor of anything remotely close to what the video was about.'''

Maybe it was a private home video Hillenburg had and he saw no reason to mark it?

No sticker, nothing on the inside of the film protector

You mean the shell? Author clearly doesn't know the difference between magnetic tape and film.

I picked it up and ran very quickly out of the lot.

Then you were arrested for trespassing, assault (as Hillenburg claimed), and theft.

'''About a week later after my initial journey by plane back to Chicago, I remembered that I still had the tape. Seeing as I had a VHS to DVD burner that I got for Christmas last year I decided to get a blank DVD-R disc and put it into the DVD side of the burner and the video inside of the VHS side.'''

You could have just explained that you had one of these contraptions and that you used it instead of going into detail of how you used it.

'''After about 30 minutes or so it popped out the disc and video. I think that's what they're supposed to do when a disc is done burning…'''

In other words "I don't actually have one, so I'm typing what I assume they do, and if I'm wrong I can just say that it is haunted".

Anyway, I popped the DVD into my computer, autoplay popped up of course because I had modified my computer to do so

Oh yeah, clicking autoplay and "remember this choice" takes a lot of hacking!

'''I decided to look in the folder for it. There was a movie file that went by the name of “Pearl.avi”.'''

Ok author, since you don't know how DVDs work, I'm going to explain it to you. DVDs don't have .avi files, they have a "complicated" string of .vobs, .ifos, and .bups that serve as a "script" for DVD players to follow.

…Pearl?

It is also questionable how this DVD knew what the episode was called.

I then double clicked the movie file as Windows Media Center popped up.

And then it crashed because it is fucking garbage. Get VLC if you actually want to be able to watch videos, because Windows Media is the video equivalent of Internet Explorer.

'''"ARE YOU READY KIDS??" "AYE AYE CAPTAIN!", it was a Spongebob episode!'''

No foolin'?

'''I thought to myself "Ooh! I haven't seen this show in so long!". Spongebob was one of my favorite shows as a 10 year old'''

You mean it will be when you turn ten in five years.

and hearing the nasally laughter of the sponge would make my ears absolutely sing with joy… Well metaphorically of course…

Kind of stretch for a metaphor, but ok...

'''So as the title of the episode came up I noticed something odd… There was no title to the episode. It just skipped right into the episode.'''

Maybe it was a workprint.

'''It showed the three things I knew and loved about Spongebob, the three main houses. The pineapple, the Easter Island head, and the rock with an antenna on it. I smiled with nostalgia as I heard Spongebob's laughter echoing through the computer speakers. Spongebob was watching a TV show on his little diver helmet TV. About 5 seconds after the scene transitioned into Spongebob's house, Pearl, Mr. Krabs daughter, bursts through Spongebob's door'''

Pearl: YOU BASTARD! YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!

'''breaking the door down as she does so. She is seen sobbing hysterically in a comedic manner, you know, mini waterfalls coming out of her eyes. Spongebob begins to walk over and ask Pearl "What's wrong?".'''

I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I would be pissed off if someone broke my door down.

Pearl replies, "Oh Spongebob! It's terrible! Daddy won't talk to me! He hasn't said a single word to me all day! He just sits in his bedroom looking down at the floor sighing…".

Yep. Let's get SpongeBob instead of a psychiatrist.

'''Spongebob replies back to her in a bit of a heroic way, "Mr. Krabs? That seems weird… Don't worry Pearl! I'll go talk to him!". "You will, Spongebob?" Pearl replies with a looking of happiness on her face. Spongebob then nods. Pearl is seen hugging Spongebob and saying, "Thanks Spongebob! You're the coolest!".'''

Yeah, SpongeBob's a hero because he is going to talk to Mr. Krabs. For some reason, he thinks that Mr. Krab, who ignores his own daughter, will talk to him.

The screen transitions with bubbles coming up to Spongebob nearing the giant anchor that Mr. Krabs and Pearl live in saying, "Cool, huh? Ch-Cha!"

WTF was that?

and you hear a Jazz trumpet chorus playing a chord as Spongebob is seen doing a comedically cool stance and look.

You look like a dang fool, Spujbop!

'''He then knocks on Mr. Krabs' door. We then see Mr. Krabs' claw quickly grab Spongebob and pull him into his home. "Spongebob me boy. Ah'm glad yer here. I have ter tell yer somethin'.". "What is it, Mr. Krabs?", Spongebob asks. "It's… It's about Pearl… You see she's… She's…". Spongebob, confused by Mr. Krabs' stammering asks, "She's what, Mr. Krabs?". A grim look comes upon Mr. Krabs' face, "She's… adopted, me boy…". Spongebob gasps "ADOPTED?!".'''

WHAT DO YOU MEAN A KRAB IS BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE OF REPRODUCING WITH A WHALE? NEXT YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME I CAN'T BREED MY CAT WITH MY PYTHON! "Jokes aside" (my second favorite phrase), I always thought that she was for some reason.

'''A claw grabs Spongebob's lips as they're seen being comedically stretched forward. "SHH! She might be out there listenin'! Now me boyo… I want you to tell her she is adopted… I… I can't do it…", tears begin to well up in Mr. Krabs' eyes, "I just can't…". Spongebob looks shocked at this, "B-but Mr. Krabs! I can't do that! It would break her fragile heart!". "SPONGEBOB! THAT'S AN ORDER!", Mr. Krabs says with sadness and frustration in his eyes. "Y-yes sir!", said Spongebob whilst he saluted and began to run out panting.'''

Why does this bother him all of the sudden? Did Mr. Krabs get so bored that he found whatever reason he could to be bummed out? It never bothered him before, why is it now?

'''I, at this point, was starting to get a bit uneasy. This wasn't the Spongebob Squarepants I knew back in the day…'''

In Shittycreepypastaland, SpongeBob is a happy show where nothing remotely scary or sad happens, except when it is a lost episode, which seem to be more of than actual episodes.

This was something else… Something more adult.

A character being adopted is so much more edgy than death, drugs, alcoholism, and nihilism put together, u guize!

'''Now even though I liked more adult stuff, this episode just made me really uneasy. Telling someone they're adopted is not an easy task. Trust me… Horrid results when it's told to you by means of someone whose parents told you to tell that person.'''

How wouldn't she know she's adopted? I mean there have been some cases where people didn't know they were adopted, and even some who didn't know their "parents" actually kidnapped them in their infancy, but this is a bit of stretch.

The last time I had to do that,

Luckily, author is a professional. He specializes in telling people they are adopted ALL THE TIME! The last time wasn't so good, but the first, third, fife-hundredth and eight millionth time were the best!

I had to coax someone out of committing suicide.

Kind of dramatic for learning you're adopted, but ok... If that person is going to jump to suicide over being adopted, God help them if they have any real tragedy happen to them.

'''Anyway… Back to the episode. The screen transitions again back to Spongebob's house where Pearl is seen sniffling as Spongebob pops his head into the busted doorway. Pearl looks up and immediately is overjoyed to see Spongebob.'''

Pearl: SpongeBob! You came back! You're going to help me raise the baby!

'''"Spongebob!”, she calls out with an excited tone, "Did you find out why Daddy won't talk to me?". Spongebob says timidly as he clears his throat, "Y… Yes… I-I did.". Pearl says in a concerned tone, "What's wrong Spongebob?". We then hear Spongebob's thoughts, "What do I do? Should I tell her? Or should I lie to Mr. Krabs? No… lying wouldn't do a thing. Mr. Krabs would probably dock my pay to half a penny a day if I did that…",'''

Then Pearl becomes concerned as to why SpongeBob is staring out into space instead of talking.

this made me do a small chuckle as I knew Mr. Krabs as a cheapskate.

"HA HA HA! This episode unnerves me and reminds me of a person I had to coax out of committing suicide, but HA HA HA HA HA!"

My chuckle fell silent as I heard Spongebob just outright say, "Pearl… I don't know how to tell you this but… you're… adopted…".

'''Pearl's eyes opened wide and both SpongeBob and I cringed. I then heard a laugh coming from the computer's speakers. It was Pearl's laugh. "That's a good one Spongebob! But really, why won't Daddy talk to me?". "Pearl… it's the truth… Mr. Krabs had me come over here to tell you…". "What? No… you're lying!", Pearl then slaps Spongebob very realistically'''

Whatever that looks like...

'''and storms out of the house. We then see Pearl walking up to the front door with tears in her eyes furious as she pushes open the door forcibly.'''

Didn't she break it down earlier?

'''She sees her father and, holding back tears, "Daddy… please tell me that it's not true… Please tell me Spongebob is lying…”. Mr. Krabs begins to tear up and in a shaky voice tells Pearl, "Yes… 'tis true… When you were a baby and while I was out scroungin' around with me metal detector near the outskirts of Bikini Bottom lookin' fer loose change, I stumbled upon you and yer Mother. Or what were left 'o her after the scallops got to her…".'''

Wow. Imagine failing so hard at life that you can be killed simply by going to the beach.

'''It then transitions to a flashback sequence which to this day makes me cringe. It showed Pearl's mother's eyes gouged out with one hanging, her tongue out and somewhat chewed off, her fins only bone, her ribcage skin ripped off revealing decaying muscle, and her throat had a hole in it showing the larynx, windpipe, and esophagus. I turned away at this point still listening. “I found yer mother layin' there, morbidly decayed, when I heard a cryin' comin' from nearby. The cryin' was you. It looked like you had just come outta yer Mother.'''

That dialogue sounds more graphic than anything that would be heard on SpongeBob, but then again so does that description, so I guess I'm just splitting hairs here.

'''I scooped ye up, took ye home, and cleaned yer up. I kept ye around fer a good 16 years. I felt it were better to tell ye now when yer old enough ta understand.”.'''

This doesn't sound creepy at all, this sounds heartwarming.

'''I started crying at this precise point. This became too adult… Too real for the happy little show I used to know and love. I wanted to click the X in the top right corner but I just couldn't turn away. Pearl ran out crying. Not the comedic tears either, these looked realistic… Almost human.'''

HYPER REALISTIC TEARS!

'''"Spongebob, me boy! Go after 'er! These tiny legs won't catch up to 'er! Please, boyo!". Spongebob nodded and began to run after Pearl calling her name.'''

Let me guess, she kills herself.

'''Pearl began to run faster and Spongebob began to struggle keeping up with her. Pearl stopped at the top of a high coral cliff, turned around, and told Spongebob, "Stop.", she put a fin out, "Do you know what it's like…to not know your mother? To be with some creepy crustacean all your life thinking he's your dad even though you two look completely different? I mean…how can a crab have a sperm whale for a child?",'''

Yeah he saved me from certain death, spoiled me rotten, and tended to my every need, BUT I WAS ADOPTED!!!!! Also, just now she is coming to the conclusion that her and her father are two different species. Shit Pearl, u stupid!

'''Pearl's voice was getting very shaky, she was ready to start sobbing uncontrollably. "I don't think you do… To be lied to all your life… To not know your true family… I don't want to be lied to anymore!".'''

Ok, I won't lie to you. You're acting like a total bitch.

'''Pearl then began to proceed to fall backwards into the seemingly endless chasm. Spongebob yelled out, "WAIT, PEARL!", and ran down the cliff slope where he had just ran after Pearl. He ran as fast as he could but couldn't get down to the bottom before he heard a loud, disgusting crack.'''

This kind of reminds me of that scene in the 2012 version of Les Miserables where Javert kills himself and you hear that hillariously gross crunch.

'''I even cringed at the sound. It sound like a bone snapping in two. As Spongebob approaches Pearl, she is seen face up with her violently pushed to the side. Her neck had snapped right in two. Her eyes were a gray-blue now and were about as soulless as any person who had succumbed to death.'''

This sounds more funny than horrific. That fat bitch probably killed about twelve people under her weight.

'''Spongebob walked up to her silently, his shoes no longer making that funny squeaking sound. He dropped to his knees realistically'''

I don't think you know what "realistically" means.

'''next to her corpse and began to sob humanly and uncontrollably. He hugged the corpse, looked up to the sky, and began saying, "Why, Neptune? Why? She was too young! Why?!". This caused me to sob right along with the sponge.'''

WAHHH!

'''The episode then cut to black and was finished. I couldn't believe it! Why would Hillenburg make such a demented and depressing episode?! I went to bed after this. The next day after coming home from work, I planned to extract the episode onto my hard drive and put it on YouTube in about 2 parts. It was a 15 minute episode of course.'''

Good luck getting past Viacom, bitch. Also, remember the old days when you had to split videos up to upload them to YouTube?

'''When I got home, I saw everything was a mess. Papers were everywhere, my TV was gone, my computer and its accompanying tower, mouse and any USBs I had in it were gone, and my VHS to DVD burner was gone.'''

The FBI finally got wise to those unsavory pictures of children you have, so they raided you. Don't drop the soap in prison, buddy!

'''"Oh shit… I've been robbed. Where's the video? Where is it?", I said as I began to look for the video that contained the episode. I couldn't find it. That was the only VHS tape I had in my possession and I guess the robbers figured it'd be worth money.'''

First of all, if it was your only VHS then why in the hell do you have a VHS to DVD converter?

Second, that's probably true. Maybe the robbers are like those dumbasses who fell for the Disney Black Diamond hoax and thought that a simple VHS was worth buhzbillions of dollars.

'''I kinda figured as well too. So, suffice to say, I'm unable to provide a video of the source.'''

How convenient!

I apologize and hope you'll all heed my warning of picking up any strange tape in a famous studio lot after bumping into a famous cartoon writer.

Thanks for the warning. This is something everyone experiences at least twice a week!

I don't think anyone will seeing as suicidemouse.avi was up on YouTube.

What does Suicidemouse.avi have to do with this? Nothing, that's what!

'''Once again, let this story be a warning to picking up strange tapes. You never know what you're going to end up watching.'''

Yes, we heard you the first time.

Plankton Got Served
I am sure many have heard of Lost Episode Creepypastas.

Yes, and a majority of them suck.

They are usually an incredibly graphic episode that conveys such fear for children that it was never aired, though someone managed to sneak a viewing or owns one of the tapes.

You mean like this one?

The most popular example of this is Squidward’s Suicide, in which Squidward commits suicide, hence the title.

Wow, who would have thought?

Of course all of these Creepypastas are false.

You don't say...

'''Yet, I remember a Spongebob episode that was altered heavily, but still remains in circulation today. This is One Coarse Meal, from season 7. In the episode Mr. Krabs finds out that Plankton is horrified of whales, and uses it to his advantage. This is one of the least popular episodes of the show due to the dark nature of the episode, even after the episode was heavily altered.'''

No, trust me, this one isn't even anywhere near one of the most hated episodes.

'''Now how would I have seen this episode before it edited? It’s simple really. This is one of the seven Spongebob episodes that was revealed on the internet before it aired on TV.'''

Yep, the animation department loves wasting time and money on horrifying versions of episodes that they don't intend to air. These episodes don't cost thousands or millions to make at all!

'''Always a big fan of the show I was excited of the idea of having a Spongebob episode premier on the internet before television. I rapidly reloaded The Nick page, and finally the episode came up.'''

No, what happened was you were bogging down your cheap internet service and your dad slapped you upside your damn head. How the author knew the episode was going to be uploaded before it aired is anyone's guess.

It was known as “Plankton Got Served”, though it was eventually changed.

"It was known as" implies that it isn't anymore.

'''Most of the episode is identical to the one that is circulated today. Plankton manages to break into the Krusty Krab and ties up Mr. Krabs and Spongebob. As he is about to finally get the secret formula from Spongebob, Mr. Krab’s daughter, Pearl walks in. This terrifies Plankton and causes him to run out. Plankton later claims his ancestors were eaten by whales and that is why he fears them so.'''

Sounds like some sort of deep rooted racism to me.

'''Mr. Krabs realizes this fear that Plankton has and decides to use it against him. He dresses up as his daughter and begins to follow Plankton around, frightening him. Plankton decides he can no longer take it and decides to make the ultimate decision. Plankton decides to commit suicide. Yes, this is still in the show today, you are free to watch it.'''

"bUt NoThInG dArK eVeR hApPeNs In sPoNgEbOb!" shreeks the other authors.

'''Plankton waits for the bus, as he lies in the street, waiting to get run over. That is when Spongebob comes over to try to convince him to continue his existence. This is where the alteration in the two versions begins. Plankton fails to heed Spongebob’s words, and remains there. In the altered version that was shown, Spongebob tells Plankton that it was Mr. Krabs as Pearl the entire time, and he gets up. In the altered version Spongebob says the same things, but Plankton refuses to believe him.'''

Plankton's a dumbass.

'''Spongebob decides the only thing he can do to show him the truth is to drag Mr. Krabs outside. Soon after he leaves the typical red bus comes speeding along. Plankton sits up, and watches it hit him as everything fades to darkness.'''

It would be better if it just cut to black, instead of fading, but whatever.

'''Plankton finds himself standing on a single platform, overlooking darkness. In the darkness he sees whales, all looking up at him. There are members of his family he can faintly make out, calling for him to jump down. Plankton looks above and sees a light, a light he can scarcely believe. This would seem to represent Heaven and Hell.'''

Because apparently, in Shittycreepypastaland, Heaven and Hell are both upwards.

Plankton, resigned to his fate, jumps and plunges down into the darkness.

He jumps down when the light is above him. Maybe he was trying to jump to the light but fell? Who knows.

This is when the episode ends, and the traditional credits for the show are shown, parallel to Plankton’s descent into the darkness.

Thanks for the totally accurate description of what that looks like, author!

'''Now some of you may say you saw the show as soon as it came available online. Apparently not fast enough.'''

Yep. The version was up for one split second, and only the author happened to see it. Somehow the staff were made aware of this in under a microsecond and changed it.

'''After seeing the episode online, I reloaded the page to find the altered version shown on the website. I kept reloading, curious of how I had seen the first version.'''

Why?

'''The only answer I can imagine for my viewing of the original episode was that the creators uploaded the wrong file, and moments after uploading it recognized such. I may be the only one who saw this version. I truly do not know the sick ambitions the creators of Spongebob had in mind with this episode. Why would a kid’s show portray death?'''

Actually some shows like Sesame Street have directly helped children learn about, and cope with death by using it in their shows.

Why would a kid’s show portray Heaven and Hell?

Oh yeah, thems sure are such deep topics there!

Nonetheless the unaltered version is impossible to find.

Somebody probably would have ripped it, but nO oNe ElSe HaS iT!

'''I’ve searched as hard as I can, and I have failed to find anything legitimate about the episode I had seen. People had told me that I had seen only the altered version, and they too were surprised of the dark themes portrayed in the episode.'''

Author, you've got to pay attention! What they were saying was that you're insane and hallucinated the whole thing!

'''Nonetheless I know what I saw. I know people would fail to believe me.'''

IT'S EVERYONE ELSE'S FAULT!

People will accuse me of just trying to scare people.

Nah. You actually have to have something scary to try to scare people. This is just garbage.

'''People would say I have no evidence. There are no photos. There is no video evidence of this occurrence.'''

And they would be right for saying so.

'''I only saw it once, and it never occurred to me to do such. I know the truth, and I want other people to know as well. Maybe, maybe someone out there saw this episode as well as I and can confirm it. Until then, I hope you enjoy reading about my experience.'''

I really didn't enjoy reading this, but whatever. Fuck me for not believing your story, right?

Sandy's Revenge
In the year of 1983, an extremely disturbing episode of SpongeBob aired on Nickelodeon’s NickToons block at 1:34 o’clock in the middle of the night.

The disturbing part is that this takes place sixteen years before SpongeBob premiered!

Not very many people were up that late watching NickToons, but those who were were disturbed by what they saw.

That's because not very many (read: nobody) had NickToons back in '83.

'''SpongeBob is walking very gloomily towards Sandy’s treedome. His eyes are bloodshot as if he had been crying and he had no mouth. SpongeBob finally arrives at Sandy’s door after five minutes and begins to slowly knock. Sandy answers after the fifth knock, and she too is looking depressed like SpongeBob. Sandy lets SpongeBob in, and shuts the door and locks it.'''

She locked the door so they can get down to business. THEY R THE ONE TRUE PAIR, GUIZE!

'''“Thanks, for coming, Sp-SpongeBob.” Sandy says looking very downcast. She leads SpongeBob into her tree, without saying another word.'''

Oh God, this is it! She's going to announce she's having his child!

SpongeBob opens his mouth as if he is about to say something, but stops himself as soon as he starts.

I thought you said he didn't have a mouth!

'''Suddenly, Sandy lunges at SpongeBob and strangles him to death. “Sandy, what are you doing!” SpongeBob manages to choke out.'''

Well that sure did escalate, didn't it?

A few minutes later, Sandy ties SpongeBob’s dead body to a wooden board, and throws SpongeBob out the tree.

Going a bit overboard there, Sandy! He's already dead!

Suddenly, Sandy seems like she is a psycho.

Yeah, I was sort of, kind of getting those vibes too. Just kind of, though.

'''She begins to scream wildly, as she runs to her door and pulls it down. Inside of the door is a power drill, and she gets it and runs outside of her treedome.'''

Good luck finding something to plug it into. This is under water, you're going to get your little ass electricuted.

'''Terrified screaming is heard in the background, and Sandy drills a hole in her dome and then water floods into her dome. She quickly suffocates and the camera cuts to black.'''

Dumbass.

When the camera starts up again, Squidward is seen lying down on the floor.

Squidward's Suicide, anyone?

'''This is the last scene in the episode, as Squidward picks up a fork and chokes on it, running to Sandy’s to find in horror that Sandy is dead. Squidward chokes and the episode comes to an end.'''

So he just picked up a fork and shoved it down his own throat? Well, that was stupid!

Instead of running to a hospital, Squidward allows himself to choke to death by running to the Tree-Dome. Somehow he didn't choke to death before getting there, but biology doesn't work in Badstoryland.

Most people who have watched this episode claim that they see a yellow square with eyes and a face outside of their window, no matter who they are or where they live...

Just like the Ticket Taker from The Theater, but only lamer.

Author is unknown

Maybe they had the self-awareness not to let their identity be known because they didn't want to be tied to this story.

Kamp Koral Massacre
SpongeBob has aired on Nickelodeon for 20 years.

Note that when this story was published, SpongeBob was on for 21 years.

It has been a big part of many people’s childhoods, well if you had cable.

Good job taunting the poor there, son!

'''We recently lost Stephen Hillenburg on November 26 of 2018 because of ALS. A couple of months after his death, Nickelodeon greenlighted a new spin-off series called “Kamp Koral”.'''

Yes, and they were met with criticism for doing so that shortly after his death. Ironically, the author is using his passing and the news of this shitty new show to try to sell a story.

Many couldn’t bear to see that Nickelodeon was milking the SpongeBob franchise to benefit themselves.

Yeah, that was happening long before Hillenburg's death...

'''Even Paul Tibbit was appalled to see this and responded on his Twitter with, “I do not mean any disrespect to my colleagues who are working on this show. They are good people and talented artists. But this is some greedy, lazy executive-ing right here, and they ALL know full well Steve would have HATED this. Shame on them.”'''

In case you are wondering, yes he really did tweet that.

For those of you who don’t know, SpongeBob SquarePants is a show created by an American animator named Stephen Hillenburg, he’s also a marine science educator.

NOOOO! HURR DURR! I DUMB! I NO KNOW WHAT SPUJBUBB IS! DURRR! NO MOMMY, I WILL NOT QUIT DRINKING THE GATORADE UNDER THE SINK!

Also, I'm skipping this dumbass introduction because we know wtf SpongeBob is.

Now there have been rumors on a little-known SpongeBob forum about some supposedly leaked reel footage of the spin-off show “Kamp Koral”.

Red flag right there. A "reel"? That would either mean it was on film or videotape, which I doubt Nickelodeon would do in a time where flash drives exist.

The person who posted it claimed to have worked at Nickelodeon and he had managed to take the original copy as an attempt to halt the production of “Kamp Koral”.

"I can't get arrested for workplace theft!" said the dumbass employee as the police pulled up in his driveway.

I DMed him to request a clip or at least a screenshot of the reel.

You just made a bad situation worse. Now this attention seeker will think he has people hooked and that he has the attention he wants.

He responded and told me that he wanted money for a clip of the reel.

Jesus Christ, dude! You're a dumbass if you fall for that!

'''At first I was just hesitant, but I decided to just fork over the money over PayPal and he told me that he would send it within 3-5 days. I decided to strike up a conversation about the reel and this is how it went:'''

Me: “Hey, how did you manage to get the reel?”

What, you didn't read the part where he stole it?

Him: “Well it wasn’t that easy there was quite a bit of security, but since I worked there, I tracked when the cameras weren’t being watched.”

Maybe that's why it was so easy: they were watching the cameras themselves and not the videos they were outputting.

Me: “Are you afraid that Nick might call for an investigation?”

Him: “Not really there hasn’t been...much talk about the reel.”

Come on man, it's just workplace theft! It's not a bad crime like jay walking or littering!

Me: “Have you seen what's on it?”

Him: “You're gonna enjoy it...”

I swear to God if it's a rickroll...!

'''Me: “Uh...okay. Are you lying about everything?”'''

This was the last message I sent and he never responded.

Dumbass Author: "There's no way this can be a trick!"

I ended up receiving the clip, it was on a sketchy file hosting site.

If it was on a file sharing website then why did he have to send it to you? Who knows? Actually, I'm surprised it wasn't MUH SCURY DARK WEB!!!

As soon as I clicked it I was immediately bombarded by a multitude of ads.

LOL! Dumbass bought a virus! Classic!

'''I finally made it to the download link and downloaded the file, “KK_reel.mp4”. It wasn’t really big, only a couple megabytes.'''

'''I clicked on the downloaded file and the VLC media player popped up. It started with a show Nickelodeon logo and then transferred to the theme. There was a “Made with KineMaster'' logo on the top corner, but what can you expect from someone on the internet. Anyways, the theme was weird, it was the SpongeBob Campfire Song Song, but slowed down. There were screenshots of a younger SpongeBob from the trailer “The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run” that showed up randomly on screen.'

JUMP SCARES! JUMP SCARES!

'''After a while the title showed up, it read: “Kamp Koral...Massacre”. I was puzzled as to why it was called that, but maybe it was a joke by the user who sent it to me.'''

You're a dumbass.

'''The title faded to black as the episode began. It opens up with a view of a poor CGI campsite, a big sign reads “Camp Coral”. The darkness was overwhelming and weird fog started to roll in. The camera zooms into a window and we see a young SpongeBob, in slightly better CGI, asleep on the top bunk of a bunk bed. I see a pink arm on the floor, presumably Patrick’s.'''

BORING!

The shot goes back outside and we see a fish dressed up in a fencing mask and a mechanic uniform drenched with a dark substance, he was holding what seemed to be a hatchet.

Author seems to have confused SpongeBob with Friday the 13th.

'''It seemed that he was walking towards the campsite. Haunting music starts to play.'''

Would you care to explain this "haunting music"?

'''There are heavy footsteps outside, SpongeBob suddenly wakes up. He wakes up Patrick and tells that he heard someone outside. Patrick tells him that they should investigate. They seemed to be voiced by someone else as their voices didn’t sound right.'''

Maybe because the characters are supposed to be younger?

'''SpongeBob gets down from the bunk and lands on Patrick in a comedic way. Then Patrick gets up and follows his friend outside. We get another outside view, everything seemed to be darker and the fog more intense. Two dark silhouettes, SpongeBob and Patrick’s, walking around. Another silhouette, the fish, seems to be approaching the two. Soon they bump into each other and SpongeBob touches the fish in a comedic manner (with funny honking noises),'''

On the balls? That's what I'm imagining.

'''thinking it was Patrick. Patrick tells SpongeBob that he’s right behind him. They shine a flashlight at the fish and SpongeBob tells Patrick, “I think we should run away screaming.” Patrick responds, “Yeah, after you.” They both run away screaming. The fish runs after them, wielding his hatchet. The pairs screams alert the other camps and they soon turn on the lights and go outside to see what the commotion was about. The other characters were young fish and they were also done in the same CGI style as SpongeBob.'''

God, this is boring!

The fish sees the other campers and starts to run towards them.

Instead of forming a mob and subduing him, they decided they wanted to be killed instead.

'''He raises his hatchet and hits one of the campers in the head. It was gruesome. Blood spurts on the other campers as they run away in terror. The fish pulls out his hatchet and the camper drops to the floor. Many were being evacuated by the camp leaders. The shot goes to SpongeBob and Patrick as they hide under some beds. They are visibly afraid.'''

"Visibly afraid" I DIDN'T HEAR THAT FROM SQUIDWARD'S SUICIDE, GUIZE!

'''They mumble to each other. The screaming outside soon dies out. Patrick come out from under the bed and looks outside.'''

"Patrick! Come out from under the bed! RIGHT NOW!"

'''There are a couple of bodies piled on top of each other and blood splattered on the cabins. He turns to SpongeBob that the coast is clear.'''

Apparently "turning" means "telling" in this world.

'''Suddenly, Patrick starts to spew blood and he collapses on the floor. A hatchet is stuck on his back. The fish goes over and pulls out the hatchet and starts to flip over the beds to find SpongeBob. SpongeBob gets chased all over the cabin.'''

Benny Hill music plays! SpongeBob comedically jumps over Patrick's dead body!

'''He decides to jump out the window, but the fish manages to grab him and slam him on the floor. SpongeBob writhes in pain. The fish raises his hatchet, SpongeBob begs for his life, tears running down his face. The fish doesn’t seem to care, he swings the hatchet and hacks at SpongeBob multiple times until his face is no longer recognizable. The shot goes to the fish, mask and clothes covered in blood. He walks away from the corpse and makes his way outside.'''

I have no comment on this besides "This is boring!". I suppose I can comment on the fact that this is supposed to be a prequel which would be a huge plothole as SpongeBob and Patrick obviously live long enough grow up someday.

'''We get a panning shot of all the carnage. The fish walks towards the woods as loud sirens soon overtake the haunting music playing. Darkness soon devours the screen as the haunting music fades away. A message shows up on screen: “This is dedicated to Nickelodeon who decided to take advantage of Hillenburg’s death.”'''

What about Shittypasta authors who do the same?

'''This reel was obviously a fan-made project, but it did good job of getting the message through to the viewer (I was pretty terrified). I don't know what to do now, try and recover the footage or just try and forget about it. '''

If it was fan made then there is nothing to be afraid of! There are probably much more scary SpongeBob fan creations out there than this!

SBSPS0E5 - Underwater Twister
Spongebob Squarepants was released in 1999 right in-between the 1999 Kid's Choice Awards,

Pointless information that has nothing to do with the story, but OK!

Rumors in 1999 are spreading

Apparently it is the year 1999 since rumors are spreading.

about a supposed Season 0 that wasn't released and replaced with season 1's pilot.

Wow! They replaced an entire season with a single episode! Amazing!

The Episode was delayed for years until 2003 when the episode was accidentally released in China, Brazil And Mexico and then released in USA

But not Canada, Argentina, or Japan! How it was "accidentally released" is never explained.

A Group of Staff and Voice Actors gathered around to the testing room where they test episodes;

HA HA HA HA HA! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW THE ANIMATION PROCESS WORKS! You're just going off of what you imagined happening in Squidward's Suicide.

One episode was called simply "SBSPS0E5" Aka "Underwater Twister"

'''The Title-card showed Cyan and Dark Blue Colors with the famous Tiki Font. It slowly faded into sponge-bob's house as Both'''

We can capitalize the word "Both" but not "SpongeBob" (whose name is misspelled with a dash).

Sponge-bob And Patrick were laughing and playing around with sponge-bob's new bubbles called "Extreme Bubbles - The Bubbles Worth Exploding" The Quality was a mix of both Season 2 Hand-Made Drawings and Season 10 Facial Expressions but It's quite unknown on the quality

"I just got done telling you about the quality, but then told you that the quality is unknown." Same fucking sentence, too!

'''"Gee Patrick! These New Bubbles Are So Much Fun!" Spongebob Said in excitement. "Those Bubbles Pack a Punch, Spongebob!" Patrick said, Flopping on the ground in a comedic way.'''

The fuck sort of drugs they on?

'''The Two head back inside and turned on the TV. it showed the weather broadcast as the Anchor Fish said "We are expecting a Underwater Twister In Bikini Bottom"'''

It's called a whirlpool, stupid fish!

'''Both Spongebob and Patrick Gasped at the sight "A UNDERWATER TWISTER?!" they both cried out as they both ran in circles before running outside and going to Sandy's Treedome. The Splash Screen showed them entering the treedome as sandy was shown, working on one of her robots. "Howdy Guys!" She said, turning around and giving off a big grin. Spongebob And Patrick Hysterically both explaining about the Twister that was gonna happened. but as soon as Sandy were to say something, she was cut off by a low rumbling.'''

Sandy would probably have some sort of hiding place or something, but since this is a Crappypasta I'm not going to hold out too much hope.

The Twister appeared as it was sucking the sand and water as Sandy, Spongebob and Patrick Ran outside the treedome

Good idea, get away from the shelter and run directly towards the "tornado"!

'''as sandy screamed "MY ROBOTS!" it showed the twister sucking the treedome and the robots. Chunks of metal exploding and electricity sparking every which way out of the robot. Then, a Time-Card revealed saying "After the Destruction..." It showed Bikini Bottom Destroyed, Plankton And Mr. Krab's Resteraunt Fallen into Pieces,'''

They're called the Chum Bucket and the Krusty Krab, Mr. I-don't-know-proper-capitalizations!

'''The Houses And Homes Shown Broken into Metal And Wooden Chunks, The Sky was a dark grey as the rest gathered around outside of bikini bottom. the Last shot showed spongebob asking sandy "Sandy? Where are we gonna live?" Sandy respond with "This is our home now, Sponge-Bob"'''

Wherever the fuck Patrick went is anyone's guess. Typing this made me think of something: why didn't they seek shelter under Patrick's rock? And why don't they live with him for a while, since obviously his house shouldn't be too worse for the wear?

the Staff was in horror at the sight,

Oh yeah, it was REALLY scary! That tornado that didn't hurt anyone was just so fucking scary I thought I was gonna shit my pants reading about it!

The staff members ordered the sound and video operators to remove the episode from broadcast.

In Shittycreepypastaland, as soon as an episode of a TV show is finished, it is autmoatically put in circulation without anyone checking it, or anything.

By the time of 2004 to 2009, the episode was removed and Nickelodeon had to make the right choice to reset the entire spongebob series by airing the first season of episodes.

I'm not sure about you guys, but I remember seeing episodes from other seasons besides the first one being aired during that time.

'''there are NO traces of any signs of the episode, but there is one episode that references the Twister. Season 7 - Episode 141b: "The Main Drain" The Episode where Mr. Krabs Rumors the Main Drain also known as the Twister.'''

Thank God this shit story is over. Next...

Spongbob Square pants Lost episode: Alone
Hello, my Name is Denis and I'm going to tell you about my story about a lost episode of SpongeBob SquarePants that I found.

Hello, Dennis. My name is Ned and I'm going to tell you about how bad your pasta sucks.

'''So I was trying to look for the old Spongebob episodes so I can rewatch them. I tried to look from online and they were a lot of money.'''

At the time I'm writing this, there are SpongeBob DVDs on Amazon that are only $7.99, and they're complete seasons. You can buy the first 100 episodes set for only $32. Have fun incriminating yourself by admitting you're piriting shit online, though!

So I went to the Walmart website to look for SpongeBob episode and there were one left in stock, which it was for 20$.

Also, symbol comes before the number, author. Just because you pronounce it "20 dollars", doesn't mean it is spelled that way.

So I took my Car and went to Walmart

Or you could have ordered it and just waited a few days for it to arrive. Then again, if you can't wait long enough for an episode to come on TV (which isn't too long a wait because that show plays about 19 hours a day!), then you won't be able to just wait for a DVD to arrive.

Also, they're probably telling you they only have one in stock ONLINE. At my local Walmart, the odds of the quantity available being the same as the site says is usually a hit-and-miss.

'''and when I got there. I ran to the Electronic side of Walmart, and I saw it and grabbed it and when to the Cash Register'''

You probably didn't run as fast as you were typing this story, seeing as there are a fuck ton of errors.

'''and paid for it. “Ok, that will be $1.00 Sir,”'''

Apparently author lives in a state where taxes aren't a thing. Also, let me guess, this wage worker is going to act all afraid and shit, aren't they?

I thought it was 20$, I said to myself, so I paid him and left.

Oh look, a cliche didn't show up!

'''As soon I went home I Unwrapped the wrapper from the box and put my Xbox one. It was season one through five. I look at the main menu and look there was a new episode, I never saw on tv it was before and it was called “Alone”.'''

This reminds me of that scene where Squidward is in a blank empty space and the word "ALONE" keeps appearing.

'''So I put it on and made some popcorn as it started the music sounded a little bit creepy. With the title card.'''

Sentence. Fragment.

'''So it started with Patrick at the Krusty Krab eating a Krabby patty when he finished it he fallen down and has knocked out. He was in a coma And I was surprised because this was a kid show.'''

Cartoon characters are totally never knocked on conscious, especially not for comedy, u guize!

And I almost choked on my popcorn and I drank some water.

I wish you would have choked to death so that this story wouldn't exist.

When I stopped drinking my water they were at the hospital and Patrick was bruised up and in bandages

If all it takes to get that badly beaten up, he is probably a senior citizen.

and the doctor told them Patrick was in a coma and SpongeBob, Sandy, Squidward, and Mr. Krabs were there.

Kind of backwards there.

Spongebob and Sandy were crying and Squidward holding back tears and Mr.Krabs did not care about Patrick.

You would think Krabs would be crying about "Me best customer" or some shit while Squidward would be the one not giving a fuck, but ok.

Then it went to Patrick Mind and we saw him and the background was all white and Patrick was making stuff from his mind and starts appearing like a bunch quarters, and a soda machine and every time he made something someone in a deep voice said ‘ALONE’.

Like that scene with Squidward I mentioned.

'''After he made his final wish. It looked like he was with the devil and he said “YOUR”E TIME’S UP.'''

No quotation mark to end that dialogue. Nice.

'''After we went out of his head he was dead. Then the DVD popped out going everywhere and it was so close hitting me.'''

This doesn't make this sound cartoony and funny, guize!

'''And the episode was still playing and they took Patrick to a graveyard and buried him. And they went home, Spongebob was at his house crying and got a loose and hung himself.'''

Got a "loose"? Like your grip on the English language? It's noose, dumb-dumb. Remember when your mom killed herself with one because of how ashamed of you she was?!

'''The end. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT.'''

I asked the same question, just for different reasons.

'''And I looked at the main menu and the “Alone’ episode was red so I watch the other episode. And Since that day it scares me to this day.'''

You're a dumbass. Go shit your pants in the back of the class room while the rest of us try to learn.

Spongebob "Sandy's Suicide"
It was 3:00am, Nicktoons was showing a new episode of Spongebob.

It's totally realistic that they're going to air a new episode during a death slot.

It was called: Sandy's Suicide

Did it have a B episode?

'''Well, I watched it. It starts in a graveyard. Spongebob,Patrick, and Mr.Krabs were in the graveyard. Spongebob cried realisticly.'''

"WAHH! I DON'T WANNA BE IN A SHITTYSTORY, PATRICK!" he sobbed.

'''Every second it will get louder. I shouted MAKE IT STOP!!!'''

Turn the channel.

'''Then static was around for 5 minutes. Act 2 started at Spongebob's House.'''

There wasn't even enough here for an act 1!

'''with.. picture's of Hitler?'''

You can't be serious!

'''Man, What happened? Squidward came in with a machette and sliced spongebob in half.'''

I always wanted to see him kill that annoying little yellow fuck!

'''And there was a note. It said: Sandy shot herself. Patrick's next. Act 3 started with squidward killing patrick.'''

We aren't going to tell you how he was killing him, he just was!

'''Then my lights went off. It was dark. And I heard screaming. Then the power went back on. Then, a picture of Squidward appeared. It was him and words saying YOU ARE NEXT.... Then I couldn't sleep again.... '''

God damn flower boy!

Spongebob - Data
Spongebob is a great children's show for kids

Most parents of very young children would disagree. You know the story's gonna suck balls when the first sentence is redundant.

and even a few adults,

At this point there are probably more adults who like SpongeBob than kids, so yeah...

modern spongebob isn't as great as old spongebob was, but spongebob is still loved by kids all over the world

Redundancy is redundant.

A short video called "Data" was planned, but was never released to the public

"Let's waste resources fucking around with things we don't plan to release!" Seriously, do these kids who write shittypastas know that it costs actual money to make an episode?!

'''the video started with the theme song, and then the title card, the title card was showed a light hanging from the ceiling, with the words Data. The episode starts with Patrick, saying that Spongebob was at work'''

Who the fuck's he talking to? Delusional starfish!

and Patrick wanted to play with him, instead of Patrick waiting for SpongeBob to get back, he went to the krusty krab, SpongeBob was no were to be seen, he wasn't in the kitchen where he always was for cooking patties

No, I'm a dumbass, I need you to explain his work station!

'''Patrick then said this to Squidward "Do you know where Spongebob is?" Squidward reply's by saying that SpongeBob was sick and he had to go home, when Patrick got to Spongebob's house, he noticed a sponge-like character in Spongebob's bed'''

?

'''when Patrick uncovered the sheet's, there was Spongebob eating dead organs of another fish, "Spongebob, what are you doing?" Patrick replied, Spongebob said nothing for about 3 minutes, and then Spongebob got a knife and killed Patrick, then Spongebob went to the krusty krab, he had bombs and a lighter, Spongebob took them and bombed the krusty krab, you can see people running and some fish already dead, the rest of the video is just the krusty krab burning to the ground.'''

Since the author didn't care to go into detail, none of this had any impact (not that it would have anyway) on the reader.

Spongebob - Mr. Krabs's Bankruptcy
I'm sure everyone remembered the Spongebob episode "Safe Deposit Krabs" the episode when Mr. Krabs got himself locked in a safe deposit

Nope. Never seen it!

unfortunately, Nickelodeon's website had a planned episode planned from 2003 to 2005, the episode in the website was titled "Mr. Krabs's Bankruptcy" which was suppose to be "Safe Deposit Krabs" which released later in 2013.

Nickelodeon wasn't yet streaming their shows online at the time, but whatever...

From October 23rd 2003 to December 12th 2005, one of the writers of Nickeldeon accidentally released the episode

The episode that wouldn't be made for another ten, maybe nine-and-a-half years?

one month before it was planned to be released, the planned release was of October 30th 2003.

I feel like banging my head off the wall over how stupid this is!

It was a quiet afternoon in 2013, right after the removal of the supposed episode of spongebob

Nickelodeon is soooooo incompetent that they let this episode on their website for two years.

I was on Youtube and on Paint.net, drawing and listening to some Dubstep, Death Metal or Breakcore (don't ask why I'd listen to Breakcore).

What are you, 12 years old?

I suddenly got a message on discord from one of my fans

One of your fans? Which one was it, your mom or your dad?

Also, I'm surprised that Shittyauthor didn't use this story as a plug for his lame-ass "famous artist" wannabe channel and discord.

who said this: "Nick's in some deep trouble, look at 2003 in October"

How am I supposed to look at a year, and why do I have to wait until October? Does the number 2003 float in the sky in October? Am I supposed to stare at a 2003 calendar in October? Shitty spelling there, asshole!

'''I replied with "What's going on with nick?" that's when he hit me with a reply that was so chilling, my spine actually tingled: "Spongebob's new episode is different, might wanna check it out"'''

I'd laugh if it were a troll who was trying to make him look stupid in front of his "fans" (Mommy and Daddy).Thanking my friend, I went onto the wayback machine and went on Nickeldeon.com, where I placed the timeline to 2003, October; I was in shock on what I saw, 

Is what you saw the exact opposite of this shit you're telling us?

there sitting on the front page was this message and download link: "NEW! Spongebob Episode Mp4 Download, Check It Out Here!"

Instead of just streaming a flash video, they want you to download an MP4 file. God help you if you don't have a way of opening it.

the link was off, the ad was from "adfly" which was a website shorter, I went to it and...My computer began to freak out, one of the worst viruses!

dEaD bArT!!!!

'''The mouse froze, the screen glitched crazily and then it switched to BSOD. "Must be a shady link" I thought to myself.'''

Or maybe your computer is just shit, huh? Nope! Not my fault, it's those damn, incompetent morons at Nickelodeon doing stupid shit again!

All of the sudden, I heard the mailbox went up

Since when do mailboxes go anywhere? I'm imagining the mailbox growing very tall and stomping very loudly.

and I got up and checked the mail; for some reason,

Oh yeah, real mystery as to why someone would go to their own mailbox... Also, I thought it was an MP4 file, not a package!

I got a small package and a note,

Jesus Christ, dude! This isn't Sonic.exe, and by plagiarizing that piece of shit, you're making your story even worse!

I checked the note and it said this: "To Whom Clicked the link, this is the episode in the disc format" – Mr. Lawrence (aka the voice of Plankton)

Let's not mention the fact that you can't fill out information on an outdated webpage, because logic would ruin my Sonic.exe/Squidward's Suicide bastard child. Also, why Mr. Lawrence, and not someone like Tom Kenny, the star of the show? Or why not just "from SpongeBob" for the sake of fantasy?

I opened the package and checked the disc, when I noticed that it looked like a burned disc

You get what you pay for.

I went to my backup computer and insert the disc, for about 2 hours of rewinding

A disc.... you just put in... needs to rewind. Did you EVER use a DVD before? Probably one of those fools that bought a DVD rewinder for over $100.

I hit play and sat down, curious on the episode.

Jesus dude, that grammar trainwreck!

The theme song played as normal, but as soon as the theme song ended, the seagulls didn't made the normal call

"Didn't made the normal call". Jesus dude, you in kindergarten or some shit?

and instead of Stephen Hillenberg it was "Paul Tibbit" which made me raise a eyebrow; the screen slowly fade in with a blue titlecard saying "Mr. Krabs's Bankruptcy" it jumpcuts to outside of the Krusty Krab with Mr. Krabs playing with his money bowling

The lack of detail is even worse than the shitty spelling!

'''he said to himself and maybe the audience. "Nothing sooths me more then me stack of cash and some cash bowling" as he was about to do it again, spongebob burst through the door with a panicked expression; he said out-of-breath "M-Mr Krabs! Mr Krabs! You have a letter!" Mr krabs replied with "Boy, you need to stop scaring me audience" I rose another eyebrow, was he talking to us?'''

"Instead of laughing at a fourth-wall joke, I pee-peed my pants because I'm a scaredy baby!"

My question was interupted when the screen snapped to black and Mr. Krabs Screaming, the camera positions to Mr. Krab's letter, it was from "The National Bank Of Bikini Bottom" it was saying on how he never payed a single dollar and was gonna remove the Krusty Krab and HIS Home for Tax Evasion.

You... you don't know how these things work, do you? Think back to the time your daddy had to file for bankruptcy.

'''Mr. Krabs let out a sigh and went outside his office, he called out for Spongebob and Squidward; he then said out-of-the-blue "we're gonna have to shut down the Krusty Krab..forever" Spongebob Gasped, Squidward smiled. "is this true?!" Squidward said gleefully, Mr. Krabs Nodded'''

Who is Mr. Krabs Nodded? IMPROPER CAPITALIZATION, SHITFACE!

as squidward danced for a second before laughing and running outside comedically, the bubbles came up and showed The Repo men taking EVERYTHING from the Krusty Krab & his home both at the same time

Those places are slightly distanced, so they would have to do a lot of scene cutting.

'''before driving off in the distance. It cut to Mr. Krabs's face tearing up as he cried, out of character, Pearl sat down in the middle of the remains and patted Mr. Krabs's back as she said "It's gonna be alright, Mr. Krabs, Things Would get better, I'm sure of it.." Mr. Krabs Sniffles and sighs.'''

Why the fuck is she calling her own father "Mr. Krabs" and not "Daddy"? WTF?! Do you even watch this show, dum-dum?

It cuts to a montage of Mr. Krab's Depression Increasing Each week as melow and sad music plays.

'''In the last frame, it shows Mr. Krabs sitting on a appartment bed, it then showed Mr. Krabs reaching into a cabinet nearby, he shuffles through stuff and then he ends up picking up a butcher knife, he puts the butcher knife close to himself, with one slice, you could hear a Crash noise and a scream from Mr. Krabs. The last frame was of Mr. Krab's only 1 dollar bill, now covered in cartoony blood as it slowly fades out and shows credits.'''

I like how these little kids who write Shitpastas think suicide automatically makes something scary.

'''I rarley had no reaction, but it was defiantly screwed up, so, I put the DVD back in the sleeve and place it somewhere safe and far away. About a few months later, I recieved a message from one of the writers of spongebob, Paul Tibbit who said: "The person in the beginning, is not me, I didn't make..the episode"'''

And we end this Shitpasta with a cliff-hanger.