Nitpick Archive 4

Hani the Redness
It was a loud day in the school.

I imagine the students running amok. Unfortunately, this dispels that illusion...

Vehicle sound from the freeways are distracting students and teachers.

Because the schools in Shittycreepypastaland are made of paper.

Miss Wati the nature science teacher were teaching

There was more than one of her? Do the local governments of Shittycreepypastaland penny-pinch so hard that they can only hire one teacher, who must be able to duplicate themselves?

[teaching] students about a sound.

It would be hilariously ironic if the sound in question was a vehicular sound.

Miss Wati raising her hand and pointing to rigth of freeways road.

Was... was I right?

'''The freeways road look like a very crowded market 'with a noise that so noisy making the student cover their ear with a soft cotton. '''

They're not doing that because of the noise outside, they're doing it because the tacher's voice is annoying and she keeps scraping chalk on the chalkboard (assuming this school can afford one).

So she turn on radio playing mozart music

Mozart should be capitalized, stupid. Also, I'm sure it played more than just Mozart, but the author isn't smart enough to know the phrase "classical music."

While the student removed their cotton miss Wati feel excited and jumped making the floor shaking.

Either she is very fat, or the building is cheaply made. I'm going to go with both.

“That sounds of the vehicles making me sick!” Said miss Wati

And making you forget how to use proper grammar.

She decided to give homework to her students.

Yep, teachers totally make the call rather or not to give students homework. It totally has nothing to do with how much was accomplished in the class room. Then again, I'm sure she is the only one who works at this school, so it doesn't matter how half-assed it is.

'''Ira one of her students throw a paper plane that hit Hani nape. Ira laughing while Hani rubbing her nape and feel sad.'''

The bad spelling and shitty grammar in this story "make" me sad.

Hani was bullied by Ira mahar, Miranda Alya and Rana Andini

I smell a shitty Jeff OC!

'''Hani went to school gate with Adit Marito the wavy bangs hair boy with black pupils. Adit were Hani’s boyfriend that so handsome. Hani and Adit waiting for a public transportation number 13. Their school are in center of jakarta and their village were in north jakarta so they would have long ride with Adit in public transportation.'''

The poor English and the fact that this take place in Jakarta makes me believe that the author is Indonesian. While that makes this story exotic, it also brings us to the sad realization that Creepypasta sucks all over the world, and the Jeff plague is everywhere.

'''While waiting, Hani seeing Ira’s expensive car that stopped next to them. Ira open car window and mocking Hani with a word “village kids!”.'''

I know nothing of Indonesian culture, but I'm assuming this is some sort of insult?

'''Adit was so angry and yell at ira “if you said that word again i will punch you!”. but Hani stopped Adit. She just didnt want they fighting each other.'''

I would have let them beat the shit out of each other.

After few minutes, they arrived at their village.

Maybe it's just the cultural confusion, but does anyone else find it funny that they were so angry about being called "village kids" when that is in fact what they are?

'''Hani and Adit walk at they village that near the beach. After arrived Hani’s home, Adit decided to play at Hani’s house. Hani’s mom, Mrs. Sari welcomes them at home and prepared some snacks for them. After change clothes, they decided playing hopscotch. when they started playing Hopscotch, Hani first to play the hopscotch. She throws the rock to the rectangle pattern in number 7 and jump. suddenly a rock from left hitting Hani knee and she fall making a blood falling from her knee.'''

Lol, that came out of nowhere!

Adit shocked to see Hani fall because a rock that fast hitting Hani knee.

Why does it shock you that someone getting hit in the knee fell?

Hani screams saying “who throws the rock into me!”

They threw rocks into you? Was your mouth opened and they threw rocks in like some carnival chance game?

she said with pain in her knee.

You think?

A girl run to Hani with a sharp wood with smooth black hair with brown pupils scratching Hani’s back, torn the white t-shirt and make Scratch marks.

Wow, I knew things were tough on this side of world, but I had no clue that you had people going around randomly stabbing people with wood.

'''Hani were bleeding from the scratch marks making the white t-shirt is almost red. Hani’s mom mrs. Sari looked from the window and saw Hani with blood in the back and saw Ira took a sharp wood.'''

So Ira did it and not some random girl?

'''she looked that shocked and run open the door and approaching the 3 kids. she took the sharp wood that ira brought and smash it with a big rock until it shattered into small piece.'''

I'm not sure how authorities work in Indonesia, but why did she waste her time breaking a stick instead of calling the police?

'''She screamed to Ira saying “you almost kill my only daughter!” she said with a tears in her eye. she hugs Hani and said “go and stop bullied my daughter!”.'''

I would have beaten the shit out of her instead of yell at her, but whatevs.

After Mrs Sari screamed at Ira, Ira ran to her house and crying.

"YEAH, GO! RUN HOME CRYING TO YOUR DADDY, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Mama should have shouted.

'''After Ira ran Mrs Sari lift Hani to the house and and put Hani in bathtub. Mrs. Sari called her husband mr. Abu “hello honey, Hani’s hurt someone hurting her and she dying rigth now!” she said with crying.'''

The way the narration was talking it was just a scratch! If she is dying, why don't they take her to the hospital or something? Is the mom some sort of drama bitch?

Mr. Abu answer it with angry feelings “who made my daughter like this?”she said with panic.

The teacher has the power to duplicate herself, and Mr. Abu has the power to change his gender at will, apparently.

“Ira, she scratches Hani back with sharp wood!”She said.

“Ira again?!she was bad very bad!”he said when hearing the bad news about her daughter, he shocked like his heart stop and fell down and hit his head to the table.

Whose the bigger drama queen, the mom or the dad?

Mr Abu stop the call and hit her head into the table that make blood fall from head.

Mr. Abu changed half of his body to female so he could beat the feminine side up.

She need few minutes to think why her husband stop her call but she ignored it.

"Honey...? Are you there....? Honey...?! FUCK YOU, MAKE YOUR OWN DINNER TONIGHT!" I imagine Drama-Mama shouting.

Mrs Sari shocked when she heard Hani suddenly scream so loud and Hani jump while lay down make her tail bone broke

Is she made of glass or something?

even the many neighborhoods heard the scream even Adit hear Hani scream.Miss Sari touch Hani face with two hand try to calm down Hani with a word “it’s okay its okay shh keep calm down i don’t want every neighborhood feel disturbed rigth now i know it’s painful but you have to calm down shh”said miss Sari while she stroking Hani face.

"SHUT UP, I DON'T WANT THE NEIGHBORS TO HEAR!"

Miss Sari suddenly heard the door bell thinking

What was it thinking? Probably "The people who live in this house are drama whores."

a neighborhood angry because Of her daughter scream and the neighborhood want to scold Miss Sari.

"I heard your daughter scream, so I'm going to beat the shit out of you." Nice logic, neighbor!

She feel the goosebump when she open the door so she open door and say sorry.but when she open her eye she look Ira,Miranda and Rana take a long sickle and smiling very wide.miss Sari almost falling down and she know what happen next.she think that the three girl want to kill Miss Sari and Hani.

The people of the village get pissed off when they hear their neighbors' children, but don't give a fuck when one of them is about to be murdered.

Ira lifting her Hand and stabbing Miss Sari chest and say “hey girl let’s stabbed Miss Sari twice!” She said with her wide smile.miss Sari are dying and she look the girl lifting the long sickle and stabbing Miss Sari chest four time until miss Sari death.Hani suddenly heard a very scary laugh and don’t know is the trio girl want to kill her.

I'm surprised the "scary laugh" didn't piss the neighbors off.

Suddenly the bathroom door was open and Hani see the trio girl with bloody clothes and take long sickle smile at her.she try to scream to call a help from her mother.trio girl say to Hani with a small voice saying “sleep tight darling”and lifting the sickle.The trio girl stabbing every Hani body and Hani scream very loud but the trio ignored it.they stabbing Hani without mercy and making the blood fill the bathtube drowning Hani with blood making Hani die.

Is this the largest bathtub in the world? Not only would she bleed to death, but it would also overflow at some point.

They falling one The long sickle the longest one to the bathtube.

You need a long one if it's apparently the biggest "bathtube" in the world.

They escaped from the Hani house to their home and giggled like a psycho.

Did they run past Mr. Pissedoffatneighbor'sdaughter's house?

The next day in the school the teacher say a bad news “Hani die alongside with her mother,police found Hani death body the bathtube fill with blood while her mother die in the house door.

Everyone crying and say “sorry Hani we can’t help you we feel so sorry to you!”.

She can't hear you, she's dead. And of course you can't help her, the murder took place yesterday. Is this some sort of special needs school? I'm assuming, if they have psychopathic murderers in attendance.

The trio girl try pretend to cry but in their heart they feel happy because Hani was gone.in the school day they feel very happy laughing without giving a reason why they suddenly laughing.after the school day the ran to the car.

This doesn't look suspicious at all!

'''They feel the Happy feeling ever because they kill Hani. While in the home suddenly a creature that was the soul of Hani come from Hani death body.'''

Here it comes!

'''The soul feel angry because the trio and she want they gone. Her skin was red because of blood and her hair was red and her clothes and her pants was red.she look inside the mirror and see her red body. She laugh like a psychopath and say “my new body is so pretty!”she said with psychopathic smile.she take the red sickle that she found in the bathtube and use it as her tool to kill the trio girl.'''

She ran and laugh now Hani was gone and righ now she is Hani the redness.

She's still Hani, just in ghost form and with a nickname. And what the fuck is a redness?

She open the Ira house

IF she's a ghost why doesn't she just walk through the damn wall?

'''and and see the luxurious home with a 5 floor. She never get distracted with the luxury but she want to kill Ira. She discover Ira was alone,Ira mother are doing yoga and Ira father still working in the office.'''

Then she vomited at the sight of fatass Ira in yoga pants.

she see Ira taking a bath

Why is she spying on her in the bathroom?

in the left bathroom that has a door cover with little diamond.she open the diamond door and found Ira sleep in bathtube.

It's a damn miracle Ira didn't accidentally drown.

'''Hani suprised Ira with her loud laugh and when Ira wake up she shocked about the red figure standing that turns out was Hani. Ira bulging her eye to Hani and said “Hani?!i think you supposed to be dead?”.'''

"Uh, you're supposed to be dead! Must I remind you?" I imagine her saying in an annoyed voice.

Hani answer it with laugh “hahahaha!you think I’m a zombie?don’t afraid,I’m not a undead I’m a ghost!

I thought ghosts were undead.

'''i’m was your true fear,that is Hani is your true fear! When you see me you scream!your friend is are the same as you! You kill my mom and me that is hurt you know?!”'''

No, I don't know. I thought you would be happier dead, but came to the realization that you and your mother would miss each other, so I killed her too so you can reunite in Hell."

Hani lifting the Long sickle and said “let’s taking a bath with a bathtube fill with blood!”.

The word "bathtube" reminds me of an empty toilet paper roll.

'''she stabbing Ira chest,stomach and the face making blood fill the bathtube.the blood was make Ira skin and hair was red same as Hani. Ira scream saying “stop!I’m so sorry because a kill you but don’t kill me ahhhh!”.'''

That's the perfect thing to scream while you're getting murdered.

Ira die and Hani feel fun she said “good night sweetheart,good night sweethearts.”with psychopatic smile.

Sweetheart? Spying on her in the tub? Was she your crush in life?

The next day Miss Wati say a bad news “Ira die in bathroom,she found dead with a stabbed marks and her skin was red!”miss Wati said with shock face.

Two in a row!

'''Suddenly Miss Wati very shocked when see a photo from the bathroom cctv. She said “Not just Ira that dead drowning with blood but Miranda and Rana are dead too drowning with blood and i had the photo that show how they die!”.'''

Why would a teacher have a photo of their students dying? And how come Hani wasn't in the photos? I guess they were taken after the murders. Sounds kind of disrespectful that the police would give those photos to the general public.

Miss Wati reveals the photo.

"Hey kids, wanna see a dead body?"

Also, why do they have cameras in their bathrooms?

the photos show a red figure lifting a long sickle to three girl.”it must be a killer that kill her victim in bathroom?”.she said with shocked face.

No shit, Sherlock!

”wait is that killer was Hani that that in bathroom?”said Adit the Hani boyfriend.”yes is that Hani!said Miss Wati.

How we can tell when she is covered in blood is anyone's guess.

Suddenly a knock voice came from the door

Well which one was it?

'''the student think it was the other teacher needs help from Miss Wati.when Miss Wati open the door suddenly they scream to see a red skin girl that take a long sickle that smile to Miss wati and the student and said “hello everyone my mame is Hani the redness!”. '''

And that concludes this story.

I almost felt bad making fun of the poor English, since the story was written by someone who isn't very fluent in it. I probably also got a lot of things wrong as I don't know anything about Indonesian culture (though I'm sure it is very nice), and really didn't feel it was necessary to learn in order to tear this story apart.

As I have said earlier, this story is a sad reminder that no matter what country a story comes from, new Creepypastas are terrible and the Jeff formula is rampant everywhere.

Sonic's Pentagram
It all began when Micheal

I have a feeling the author meant to spell "Michael". Either way, I'm pronouncing it "Michele", the French variation, in my head.

a 5 year old gamer and a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog

So he's a year older than the author? He would have to be five years old if he is a fan of the new Sonic games.

had been told stories by his parents; stories about his parents playing Mario on their Nintendo and Pac-Man on their old Atari 26 hundred

You mean Atari 2600? If you were going for fancy you would have spelled it "Atari Twenty-six hundred", which in itself would be incorrect since the official title is spelled numerically. I have a feeling author not only never saw it written before, but he probably also thinks that it was the console Pac-Man originated on.

Micheal's parents, although told many stories, were angry and abusive toward their son.

Jesus Christ, kid make up your mind! Is this supposed to be a haunted gaming pasta or a Jeff spin-off?

They would ground him for no reason

I would ground my son too if he wrote shitty stories filled with spelling errors.

emotionally and physically abusing Micheal, who was a young fat boy, could not bear the pain.

Most abusers are neglectful and therefore he would most likely starve.

But then again, they probably were not abusive. By "emotionally" abusive, author most likely means they made him eat vegetables for dinner instead of cake, and by "physically" abusive they probably mean the parents made him actually work out.

Bad parents for trying to save your son from a heart attack!

This could also be a small jab at how in real life obese people usually play too much video games, but the author lacks the eloquence to produce such a "Truth in Television".

Micheal's parents always told him how they stored their old systems in a box in their attic.

"Oh yes, deary. We do have an old system in our attic. DON'T PLAY IT, YOU STUPID WORTHLESS FAT BITCH!" the parents say, drastically and cartoonishly changing their tone.

One Sunday, Micheal's parents were fast asleep with earplugs on and put a sign on their door that said 'Do not disturb'.

How convenient. They probably had a "Do not disturb" sign because they don't want to be awoke in the middle of the night by Little Fatass begging for donuts. Or they're trying to reproduce and have a child who is actually healthy and doesn't write shitty stories.

Micheal loved to play Sonic Unleashed, Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations on his X box 3 60

I'm sure his favorite Sonic game of all time was Sonic the Hedgehog 2006, purchased every issue of Sonichu, and had a leather-bound edition of Sonic.exe with the game and a narration of it pressed on gold CDs.

but had a strong curiosity for classic games.

They're better than the garbage that comes out now.

Micheal, out of boredom and curiosity, was tempted to go into the attic and retrieve one of the old systems for himself, but his parents had told him not to so many times, but he was a sensitive little boy.

I bet Micheal grew up to be Michelle.

But Micheal, knowing that his parents were fast asleep, decided to attempt to sneak into the attic and retrieve the old Nintendo and Atari his parents used to play.

We were told earlier he would get punished for no reason. After seeing that he disobeys his parents, I'm pretty sure he isn't doing anything that doesn't warrant these acts of so-called "abuse."

Once he got into his attic, he felt a slight cold breeze come over him and it reeked of the stench of a dead rodent.

Considering that most attics are usually uninhabited and poorly insulated, it is no wonder it is cold. And he probably is smelling dead rodents. Who knows how long since someone was last up there. There was probably at least six generations of rotting rodent corpse up there.

'''Micheal looked around to see almost nothing but 1 box, it appeared to be entirely open so he looked into the opening. Micheal hoped it would be full of several game systems, but it only contained 1 system that red Sega Genesis.'''

Sega Genesis wasn't red! (Yes, I know it was a typo)

"My parents never played the Nintendo or the Atari!", he thought to himself.

They told you they did! Are you calling your parents liars? No wonder they beat the shit out of you!

'''Micheal decided to take the old system downstairs anyways, only out of curiosity for classic games, but when Micheal picked up the system, it didn't feel old. It felt like it had just been recently used.'''

Wow! I must be sooo stupid! I thought the opposite of old was new! Here all this time it means something is old but used recently!

Being young, this didn't put any sort of strange feeling into Micheal's head.

Maybe it was so well packed that dust, dirt, and mouse turds didn't get on it?

Micheal saw that there was something under the system, it was an old Sega game that red "Sonic the Hedgehog".

As I recall the only red on the Sonic the Hedgehog cartridge is the large "NOT FOR RESALE" notice.

"Oh boy, an old Sonic game!", he thought to himself.

"Oh boy, a shitty story!" Ned thought to himself, though in a disappointed tone countering Micheal's excited one.

Even though he was young, Micheal was able to figure out how to plug in the cords.

Wow, he must be a genius to figure out that the red plug goes into the hole with the red ring around it!

Seriously though, how does a five year old do this without knocking something over? Is their television small and on the ground?

'''He turned on the TV and waited for the Sega to load. Upon loading the game'''

It was a cartridge, it doesn't need to load! This could be something suspicious that the main character does not notice, but given the author's poor writing I doubt they could do something that subtle.

it seemed normal.

Except for a cartridge loading.

Micheal plugged in the Sonic game

Really? I thought he had to plug in the Sega Genesis! Games just plug into the wall, guize! Seriously though, I'm surprised author didn't think it was a CD.

and proceeded to wait for the game to load.

Jesus, kid!

"I'm so excited and my meanie parents don't know, hehehe.", said Micheal.

Disobeys parents, calls parents names. No wonder you get the shit beaten out of you.

'''Micheal then saw the game load, it was the Sonic the Hedgehog title screen with the Green Hill Zone in the background. As the game loaded,'''

THERE! IS! NO! LOADING! ON! CARTRIDGES! YOU! DUMB! FUCK!

Micheal started off at what said 'Stage 1: Green Hill Zone'.

The actual game calls it "Green Hill Zone Act 1", but I doubt author knows anything about StH1 besides screenshots, a few YouTube videos, and Sonic.exe.

'''Micheal saw a classic, pixilated Sonic and proceeded to move around with him. As Micheal ran into enemies, he lost some rings, but jumped on them to kill them.'''

He also killed my brain cells with this cancer you call a story.

'''Out of the enemies came no animals, but the enemies just turned gray and lay on the ground. Micheal thought this was to be in the original game as he never played it before, so he proceeded on.'''

This is his first time ever playing this game, so that means he's played it more times than the author did.

'''Micheal then went stage through stage of Green Hill Zone levels until he got to the Egg Wrecking Ball boss. Micheal saw that Dr. Robotnik had a sad look on his face as if he was about to die'''

I would want to die if I was a character in a shitty story, too!

Micheal kept on jumping on the green rods

I bet Micheal jumps on rods. Seriously though, learn the difference between a platform and a rod.

and jumped into the Wrecking Ball machine several times until it was destroyed and said that Micheal won the fight.

WTF game did author think he was writing about?

Micheal then saw Egg man run away crying and a text box popping up saying, "You devil! You just had to torment me again!".

This doesn't sound scary at all. This actually sounds like one of those neat little things that would be found in an actual Genesis game.

Micheal didn't ignore this, he started crying, but his parents didn't hear him.

WAAAHHHHHH! MY VIDEO GAME CHARACTER IS CRYING!

Micheal closed his eyes and cried for 10 minutes

Stop watch!

'''until he opened his eyes and as he slowly looked up, he saw something gruesome. He saw that the Green Hill Zone was gray with mist surrounding it, but the worst new feature was Sonic. He had no eyes, just hollow, dark eye sockets'''

I would cry too if I was playing a Sonic game and his eyes turned into the dark sockets cliche. However, my tears would be of second hand embarrassment for Sega for putting such an over used cliche into a game.

'''and he was gray. Sonic looked dead'''

You think?

and so did the enemies walking around the zone.

They must not look too dead if they're moving.

Micheal felt uneasy, but was intrigued to keep playing.

Micheal started his first day of special needs school the next day.

'''Micheal proceeded to try to move Sonic, but he just wouldn't move. A text box then appeared saying, "Destroy the game Micheal, or he'll come for you too.".'''

How about "Destroy this story"? Seriously we have two cliches here: the "Destroy the game or he'll get you" ripped from Sonic.exe, and the game breaking the fourth wall.

'''Micheal felt frightened, but kept trying to move Sonic with tears running down his cheeks and confusion running through his head. Now another text box appeared saying, "Stop trying to save me. He'll come for me, but he won't be able to come for you. Just destroy the game.".'''

More of the fourth wall break cliche! Nice!

'''Micheal then felt this was real. "Who's coming?", asked Micheal.'''

I hope it's one of the orderlies at your psychiatric hospital, coming to take you back to the asylum you little nut!

'''Sonic just stood there, smiling at Micheal, then another text box appeared saying, "You're gonna be okay, old buddy.". Micheal then saw something pop up behind Sonic, it was a dark figure with horns, wings and claws. "Good bye...", Sonic said through the TV speakers. The dark figure then stabbed Sonic with its claws and began to absorb him. In about 3 minutes, the figure looked a little like Sonic, but something was entirely different. Sonic was completely dark with red glowing eyes, razor sharp teeth came from his mouth with a menacing smile.'''

LAME!

'''He stared at Micheal. Micheal started crying and screaming as Sonic began to speak.'''

"Hello, you fat little fuck. I just want to eat your soul!".

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

"Who are you? What did you do with Sonic?", asked Micheal.

"Micheal, it's a pleasure to meet you, My name is Satan. Now just lend yourself over and we can work this out."

Satan is so stupid that he thinks children can walk through televisions. Apparently he also chooses games locked away in attics instead of games that are more likely to be played immediately.

"What happened with Sonic?, Micheal asked.

He was the star of many great games for almost a decade before things turned sour, now he's the star of a movie that exceeded box office expectations.

'''At this point, the morbid Green Hill Zone changed to a stage full of volcanos, lakes of fire and demons. Sonic smiled as the demon ripped the dead looking Sonic apart. In the background were voices uttering an unspeakable language. Micheal, at this point, went up to his desk and got his wooden cross.'''

It has to be made of wood. It probably doesn't have any corners either because his handlers don't allow him to have anything sharper than play-dough.

"Bring Sonic back in the name of...", but before Micheal could proceed, Sonic screamed in a monsterous voice and his cross fell apart in two.

Ooooooh! Soooooo scurrrrrry!

Micheal then began to feel threatened and screamed prayers as Sonic screamed, "Satanis ex Mortis".

Not only should the author pray because he clearly needs Jesus, but he should also pray for God's protection because, after seeing all this, his parents are probably anti-vaxxers now.

'''At this point, Sonic screamed, "Stop!", but this was a different voice. Then a gray text box appeared saying, "Destroy the damn console, I told you he'll come for you!". Then it began to rain outside of Micheal's house and Sonic began to take the form of a more sinister creature. Blood ran from his mouth and he was devouring the corpse of Dr. Robotnik mercilessly. Micheal then threw up and got very sick. Sonic just laughed maniacally and proceeded to rip apart the bodies of what seemed to be the bodies of Knuckles and Tails.'''

Neither of which appeared in this game (though author wouldn't know it).

'''Demons went up to them and began devouring their bodies. Micheal then picked up the console and threw it on the ground. The game stopped, but Micheal saw the TV with a message on it. "Thanks for the soul, Micheal. You really helped out!". The message also had a red, 5 pointed star facing down on it.'''

It's called a pentagram, kid.

Also, was the game being sarcastic or something? Who knows? I don't, because author just ends the story here so we'll have to imagine our own ending. In my version, the sun rises and his parents come down and see the console destroyed. They beat his ass and have him sent back to a mental institution. The End.

The Happy Mask Salesman
I love creepypasta.

I'm sure your favorites include Jeff the Killer and Sonic.exe. Unfortunately, no one told you not to mention Creepypasta in Creepypastas.

Its stories were way better than the ones we were forced to read at school.

YEAH! Ticci Toby is so much better than Oliver Twist, Sonic.exe is more masterful than ANYTHING that hack bastard Dickens could come up with, and Jeff the Killer knock-offs are more complex than anything Victor Hugo could ever come up with!

Jokes aside, you're an illiterate dumbass who probably rides the short bus to a public school where you shit your pants and pick your nose with a damn screwdriver all day.

'''My favorite one, when Ben Drowned. I hoped you all are familiar with it.'''

WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?! Did you even read it? It was not about Ben Drowning! Ben already drowned by the time the story began!

Also, what a coincidence! You like the story and you just so happen to be in it! WOW!

About two months ago, my cousin gave me his Nintendo 64 and a box filled with games.

Wow, wonder where this is going...

'''When I reached the bottom, I saw a scratched up cartridge, curiosity hit, and of course, I wasn’t gonna let it sit there. So I put it in the Nintendo 64, and to my luck, it was Majora’s Mask. You have no idea how excited I was.'''

I was excited the first time I played Majora's Mask, too. As Omenyaa pointed it, it is obvious that this kid never actually played the game and his limited knowledge of it comes from BEN.

I remember the hours I spent watching my cousin play, and I would join too from time to time.

Read: I remember watching the videos on Jadusable's YouTube channel and pretend that I was playing it with my Playstation 4 controller.

'''Come to think of it; I don’t remember him ever beating the game, at least not when I was there. So I went straight to playing.'''

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NOT KNOW RATHER OR NOT IF YOU BEAT A VIDEO GAME, ESPECIALLY ONE THIS MEMORABLE?

There was one save file that had all the masks and all the beaten temples; technically, it had been finished.

If you never beaten the game before, how do you know he finished it?

'''I wasn’t surprised my cousin has always been a gamer, the name he used was a little weird though it read: Hms. Hms? What was that?'''

What's weird about it? Maybe it means something personal to him. Maybe it's his crush's initials, or he is interested in boats? I shouldn't mention boats because author will shit on them, too.

I made one file and name it Ben; (Surprise surprise) hoping that Ben would haunt mine too (Yea it’s stupid, but it was my favorite pasta).

You're an idiot! That's all I have to say. You're an idiot!

So I started playing, and nothing happened until I got to the Happy Mask Salesman.

Which, due to the author's limited knowledge, he probably thinks this is somewhere near the end of the game.

'''His face was stuck on the angry face he got when he finds out he doesn’t have the mask. It was pretty insane, but I thought the game must have been messed up due to the cartridge being scratched and in the box, who knows for how long.'''

i FiGuReD iT wAs JuSt A gLiTcH

I got the Song of Healing from him, and on my way to Clock Town, everyone was there.

I bet you think he gives you the song BEFORE you first enter Clock Town. Also, duh everyone was there. This isn't BEN... at least not yet!

I had to go back to the Happy Mask Salesman so he can tell me the famous “ You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?”

THAT'S THE VERY FIRST THING HE TELLS YOU, YOU TWIT! THAT IS LITERALLY HIS FIRST LINE IN THE WHOLE FUCKING GAME!

'''Instead, when he would’ve said that, was his little demented laugh. (Gave me the willies)'''

Then again (little that I know), I blamed it on the scratches.

Do you think this is a disk that can be affected by scratches? Do you not know how thick that cartridge's shell (which by the way protects the game itself) is? Probably not. You probably think that shell IS the game because that's how disks work.

To make a long story (Filled with 5-minute rage quits) Short, I beat all the temples and got all the masks.

I’m finally with the boss, and I defeated him, so I figured I should call my cousin.

"The boss"? You don't even know who "the boss" is do you? No, you don't. The fact that there is a boss battle at the end of the game is pure coincidence. If there wasn't, I'm sure you would have still wrote one into the story unknowingly.

Also, why in the fuck would you stop just before beating a game just to tell your cousin. I'd laugh my ass off if you called him and you were all "I'm about to win... I'm about to win..." then the power goes off, making you look like an even bigger ass!

Before I could pull my phone out it, the screen went to a cut scene in which Ben (Link) gives the mask to the Happy Mask Salesman.

The Happy Mask Salesman was standing over Links dead body, and covered in blood.

bLoOd Is ScArY!

I called my cousin, but it kept going to voice mail, then I Googled the ending, and the results were nothing like the one I experienced.

Too bad you didn't bother Googling the whole game so you could make your story at least slightly convincing.

I went back to the game, and the save file Ben was replaced by “I,” and the other file read “Win.”

Which together would read: I win.

Yeah, no shit, dummy!

I first played the file that read “I,” and it showed the Happy Mask Salesman with his demented face looking directly at me, and the text box said: “You have given me my mask… You have handed me your death”.

It has become apparent that he thinks the Happy Mask Salesman is more important than he actually is.

I was scared and wondered did Jadusable have any problem with the salesman like this?

If you had actually read the story, you would have your answer. Instead you probably just watched the videos and heard someone on YouTube do a summary of the story.

When I stopped wondering, I pulled the cartridge as quickly as I could without turning the console off, and the image was stuck on that demented setting and the Happy Mask Salesman.

Yeah, you see weird things actually do happen when you try to pull cartridges out of a console when it is still on. People have been doing it since the Atari times.

I ran away as fast as I could, and that image got stuck in my brain, every time I close my eyes, I see the picture, and like a stain, it remains on my mind.

Wussy!

'''It wasn’t that bad that I couldn’t sleep. However, now and then I have to check behind me, even at school, I find myself isolated looking around for him.'''

You should be medicated. Seriously, you must have looked like a total ass to look around your school for a fucking Creepypasta character! They should consider making you attend a special needs school, but that's probably where you were, so your dumbass behavior is something they are probably used to.

Then one night, I got a text from a number that read 64; the text said: “What mask are you hiding in?”

I was scared, and I bordered myself in my room for the majority of the time.

Did you also grow a neck beard, wear a My Little Pony shirt and a fedora, and complain about how it's everyone else's fault you're not getting laid or succeeding at life?

I had to ask my cousin what was happening: why was this happening?

I rode my bike to his house, but when I got there he wasn’t there, and the house has been sold

Like the old man's house in BEN. Seriously, how the HELL do you not know that your own cousin is moving, especially if you are apparently close enough for him to give you video games?

I turned around and was startled by a little boy about the age of 6.

2SPOOPY4ME!

“Hi,” I said, still in shock of his appearance.

“Hello,” He said

“What’s your name?” I asked

He ignored that question and said, “Are you friends with the man who used to live here?”

“Oh, uhh yea he was my cousin”I replied

“My mommy made me give him my game” He blurted out of nowhere.

“Oh, uhh, why?” I asked, knowing he was talking about Majora’s Mask.

“My mommy made me; she said it was an evil game.”

Well this went nowhere.

'''I sighed (what does a 6-year-old know about an evil game) while looking at the vacant house, then I looked back, but the boy was gone. I'''

'''was scared. Had I imagined it?'''

Wow, author was so scared of a harmless child that he accidentally separated a sentence.

I went to the neighbor’s house and knocked on the door, a middle-aged man answered.

“Yes?” He said harshly

MEAN CHARACTERS MAKE IT SCARY, U GUIZE! Also, rip off of conversation with the neighbor from BEN.

“Hi, the man who used to live there” I pointed towards the vacant house”Do you know where he went?”

“Sorry, but no, he was acting weird for the last couple months though,” He said, scratching his chin.

He doesn't seem so harsh now.

“Like what?” I asked

“Well, for starters, he was very isolated; he would never leave the house, and whenever he did leave, he would go on ranting about a possessed game, he was crazy some people say he was taken to a mental hospital.”

Why does the neighbor know more about this guy than his actual family members?

“Ok, umm, thanks then,” I said as I left, and he closed the door.

'''I rode home in a rush, and then when I got there, I sat at the frozen tv screen and started talking to it. I don’t know why I just did.'''

I bet you looked foolish talking to a television like that.

“What are you?

“What did you do to my cousin?”

This makes it look like two different people are talking.

'''Casually I would imagine his little demented laugh. Then the screen changed.'''

That doesn't sound very casual.

I don’t know how I looked at the 64, and the cartridge wasn’t there.

Maybe your mom threw it away because it was making you act like a damned fool!

Then a text box appeared and said.”Pick up the controller lets play.”

I picked up the controller pressed A

Yeah, let's do what it tells us to do!

and then the screen changed, and I was Link

Besides Kafei (who I guarantee the author doesn't even know about), Link is the only character you play. I'm assuming you meant "normal Link".

I was in Clock Town

One of the three places I actually know about in this game!

but it was all on fire, and if I touched the fire, Link would instantly die.

So I followed the open path, and I went through north Clock Town everyone was there…everyone was there, but the salesman wasn’t.

That's because the salesman isn't in North Clock Town. Maybe that's why?

'''Everyone stood in the fire looking at me; I kept following the path until I got to a door. Should I have opened that door? No. Did I have a choice? No.'''

You could have chose to shut the game off, destroy it, and buy an actual copy. Then again, I'm sure this kid is broke so paying the $100+ for a playable copy is not a viable option.

'''I opened the door anyway and went inside. It was the Happy Mask Shop that was supposed to be in Ocarina of Time.'''

Quite frankly, I'm surprised that the author knew that it was in a different game.

I couldn’t do anything but talk to the Happy Mask Salesman.

That's pretty much all you CAN do there, so...

'''I saw that he had two masks. One looked like a re-deads face, and the other looked like the salesman. He stood at the counter, watching me run around until I finally went up to him. He said.'''

“Hello, would you like to try a mask?”

'''I had two options yes or no. I hesitantly chose no — bad choice. His face turned more demonic by his mouth opening, and his eyes bleeding. He started to shake his head while a re-deads scream shook my eardrums.'''

You have no idea what that sounds like, you just read about it in BEN.

I dropped the controller and plugged my ears the best I could.

Try pressing the mute button, or unplugging the audio cable.

'''I looked at the tv, and a Text box has appeared it said. “TRY MY MASKS!” Yes was the only option, and I chose it to stop the screaming.'''

What was the point of even having no as an option in the first place?

'''He gave me the mask, and his face went back to the original demented one. I went through the inventory (Which was empty), and I chose to put on the mask. Link put on the mask, and he went through the- what looks like a painful -transformation, then he was a re-dead with Links cap and hair.'''

That sounds pretty cool, actually! Imagine playing that.

'''I walked around for a little, not knowing the meaning of this, and whenever I try choosing the un-equip button, he says this: “You don’t want to do that…” I had no choice but to go talk to him, and when I did, he said: “Would you like to trade masks?” Again only one option, so I chose yes. He then took the re-dead mask and gave me the one that looked like him. When I chose to put it on, there was no transformation; he just had the mask on his face, similar to the masks in Ocarina of Time.'''

You probably don't know what they look like. Moving on...

'''Nothing happened until Link dropped to his knees and started shaking his head. He was trying to fight something. The Happy Mask Salesman was watching Link suffer as if amused by it. That scene went on for a while until Link dropped dead. The hero of time dead at the salesman’s feet. He stood there looking at Link, then he turned to me and said.'''

“It resembles you, how you suffer until you drop dead… you will drop dead sooner or later… just like your cousin.”

DUH! Everyone dies!

So the cousin is dead? I would ask why the main character doesn't already know this, but apparently him and his cousin were just two people who happened to be related, but otherwise didn't know each other.

Either you didn't know your cousin, or you hated him so much that you're not alarmed by the fact that someone said they killed him.

'''I read those words, and I didn’t know what to say. The text box cleared and said: “So what will it be? Will you try to keep your sanity? Keep fighting for that last sane thought? Or will you let yourself drop-dead silently?”'''

JUST SHUT THE GAME OFF!

I didn’t know how to answer that; I knew that either way, I will lose.

SHUT! THE! GAME! OFF!

“Ok, and that little boy I talked to who disappeared, was he like your puppet or something?”

'''“The little boy who gave your cousin my game? No, not a puppet, you don’t want to know what or who he was…”'''

Ben, obviously.

“Why not?” I asked

“Its for me to know and for you to never find out,” He replied, then it was followed by his laugh.

Then why mention it? What are you in kindergarten or something?

'''he pulled out Majoras mask out of nowhere and put it on. The screens flashed from setting to setting some with the salesman standing over Links dead body, or even his demented face with the bleeding eyes and wide-open mouth, shaking his head. I was expecting some more re-dead screams, but they weren’t.'''

SUPR SCURY IMIGE

It was ordinary people screams it took me a while to notice, with it being loud and all, but I finally realized that those where the screams of his past victims.

His past victims who, as far as we know, only consist of Jadusable, Shittymaincharacter's cousin, and Shittymaincharacter.

I knew my scream would add to the collection he has.

Somehow mommy didn't hear!

'''I dropped the remote to plug my ears, and the pictures were flooding my eyes. Then suddenly, it all stopped. I looked at the screen, and it was black, Then I saw my mom standing at the doorway. I realized I had screamed.'''

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! BUSTED, ASSHOLE! Back to the special needs school! Back on the short bus!

“Are you alright?” She asked cautiously.

I wouldn't be "cautious", I would think my son is insane or something.

“Yes, mom, thanks,” I replied.

“What happened?” She asked, slightly relieved.

“Got shocked by the 64,” I said.

“Ok then,” She smiled, and she left closing the door behind her.

Is your mother really that stupid that she thinks you can get shocked by a controller? Then again, she clearly doesn't give a shit if her only reply is "Ok then". She probably knew it was a lie, she just wanted to go back to committing adultery with the mailman before Daddy comes home.

'''I didn’t have any more problems with the Happy Mask Salesman again. Well, I can’t say that. Every night those pictures and screams haunt my dreams. So I hid the cartridge where I hope it’s safe.'''

Or you could just destroy it.

And as for my 64, I kept it to be sure.

I have a feeling a troll convinced you to drill a hole in it and hump it.

'''I’m still not over it, over those screams and those pictures. I have got slightly better until I thought of something, the Happy Mask Salesman was right; I dropped dead fighting for my last sane thought. I had another nightmare since the last one, and it was about the encounter with the Happy Mask Salesman, the screams, and those pictures again.'''

I would be more pissed about having a reoccurring dream. Maybe you should tell your psychiatrist who works in the special school you attend?

I woke up, and I saw a little illuminating light; I turned to see where it was coming from, and I saw that it came from the TV, and in red words, it read, “I win.”

Yes, you do. I'm not talking to the TV, I'm talking to the author. You win the Dummy Award for Outstanding Shitty Writing and Critical Research Failure.

Bullies
'''Note to admins: Please do NOT delete this pasta. This is my first 'real' pasta and it has a good message to stop bullying.'''

AWW MAN! The author said that the admins cannot delete the story! That means they have to keep it up! Seriously though, that has NEVER worked before and I don't know why people think that making demands to administrators will get them what they want.

'''"I SAID YOU DON'T SCARE ME ANYMORE!" Screamed Timothy, fed up with the bullies.'''

Let's start the story right in the middle of the action! Also, you were just asking for an ass-whooping for saying that, little asshole!

Carlos immediately threw acid in Timothy's face.

Where did he get acid? Who the fuck knows. The author clearly doesn't care enough about this story because it is too hurried for any coherence.

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

They were playing Aaargh? I fucking love that game!

'''The bullies high tailed it out of there, fleeing the scene. Timothy collapsed, his face now a steaming mess of goop.'''

We are left to assume that no one was around, and where this is taking place because detail doesn't exist for some reason.

'''Years later, Carlos had a beautiful girlfriend. Life was good. He enjoyed his days of bullying, and enjoyed remembering Timothy's screams of agony.'''

This is very confusing. Did Timothy see a doctor? Why wasn't Carlos arrested? Is Carlos still a bully?

' 'Tap. Tap. Tap

'''Carlos heard tapping on his window. He looked...'''

Guess who?

Timothy, now a terrifying disfigured man, jumped through the window.

I bet Timothy is a dumbass who stayed face-planted in the woods screaming into his hands all these years until he finally decided to get revenge.

'''He grabbed Carlos by the throat and tore his tongue out. Carlos was dead.'''

YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A TONGUE, U GUIZE!

'''Timothy then killed his girlfriend. He grinded them into juice and drank them.'''

Wow, he killed an innocent woman. Sounds like he is the real bully. What if she was pregnant, too? For all we know she was a kind woman who wouldn't have approved of Carlos's bad behavior. Also he drank them? That's stupid. I'd laugh if one of them had a disease and now Dumb-Dumb has it because he drank their blood.

'''Moral of the story? Don't be a fucking bully.'''

If I were a bully (and I don't consider myself to be one because being a general asshole on the internet isn't actual bullying), I would pound the shit out of the little turd I was bullying extra hard because of this story.

STOP BULLYING.

Nice PSA, Shittyauthor! Now I feel like beating the shit out of nerds.

The Psychiatrist
I'm ms hope

Without the period, this made me think of MS Paint, which I know the author would have used if they cared enough to illustrate this garbage.

I was a psychiatrist at a former mental institution

What are you doing in a former institution. Does the author know former means ceased?

'''somewhere in, Nevada. I'm 25 years old, and I have a 12-year-old son'''

You would have had to have been thirteen years old when he was born. Either author fails at math (which I'm sure is the cause of this), or this slut was knocked up as a teenager.

Also, you would have had to started college right away to be a psychiatrist by twenty-five.

and I have long hair that is pure-diamond colored and I'm usually wearing my favorite black dress.

This is the most detail that this entire story is given. LOOK AT HOW SEXY I AM, GUIZE!

one day somewhere in the noon

Afternoon would make it look professional.

I was diagnosing a woman whose child was named James and she told me in her psychotic why that laughing jack had killed him and framed her.

First off, learn to appropriately capitalize.

Second, what do you mean she told you in her "psychotic"? You mean her room?

"why that laughing jack had killed him and framed her" not only is this an abortion of grammar, it raises questions how she knows why he killed him.

'''I took it that she was never going to admit that she killed him so I sent her back to her room. I was up until 12:27 in the morning'''

I'm surprised it wasn't 3:00 AM, because that is scary now for some reason.

So when I was leaving I walked passed my patient's room and heard some singing I looked into the patient's room and saw no one but her just facing the wall I tried knocking on the glass and knew right away she was ignoring me.

Maybe she was asleep, you shitty speller.

I ended up in her room asking her from a distance if she was singing but when it turned around I realized it wasn't my patient I was talking to is was a very small child that was very disfigured with missing limbs but after further analyzation, it was my son

First of all, how in the fuck did your son get here?

Second, how the FUCK do you not know you're talking to your own son? You don't recognize his voice?

I asked who did this to him and he told me it was his dad.

It would make more sense if it were Laughing Jack, but whatever...

I sat there looking down for a while having a boil in my blood but when I looked up my son wasn't their so I turned around and left I went home to find my husband home but my son wasn't their

She's not alarmed by the fact that her son is missing, she's on a mission to kill her husband without evidence he actually did anything.

so I grabbed a kitchen knife and walked up behind my husband and murdered him and it felt so good.

"I killed my husband because my son, who I didn't know was my son, showed up at my workplace that should be shut off from the public, and told me his dad did this!"

but for some reason, I still felt a boil in my blood so I went out for more victims

So this transitioned from a Laughing Jack Spinpasta to a shitty OC vehicle.

but before I did I grabbed my notebook and a pen and started to write in different languages to go after people I didn't know but somehow did so on I went for my next victims.

What language? Author doesn't even know. He probably can't name any off the bat. He is also ignorant if he thinks foreign languages are scary.